To keep an ex's love letter

[cherrychop]

I recently came across a 'love' letter from my first boyfriend back when I was about 17. When I moved in with my dp I packed up a load of random stuff and this was tucked into a book. I read through it and was sent back to a time where I was carefree and young. It was really nice to read back and remember this time from my youth. A lot has happened since this time and many people have come and gone and this letter just had so much happiness in and it was lovely to be reminded of some things.I am very happy with my family now and my dp is wonderful, reading this letter gave me no feelings for my ex but just the memories of things that happened around that time. One example is he gave reference to a joke he and my grandad shared and sadly my grandad has passed on now but hearing the joke made me so happy and brought back fond memories of my grandad. I have no intention of telling my dp about the letter as I don't think it would be right. Aibu to keep the letter for the memories? Or should I get rid of it. I don't want my dp to find it and think I'm hiding secrets as I 100% have no feelings for my ex anymore. This was many years ago now and I am thoroughly happy with my family.

Keep the letter. It's part of your life and history. Nothing to feel guilty about. Everyone is entitled to their past and privacy. Doesn't mean you love your partner any less and in fact, in a healthy relationship, you'll understand and respect each other's pasts.

Depends how old you are really. If you're 30+ I think it's harmless. Below that and I would think it could be hurtful as it would be a bit too recent.

YANBU - keep it!!

If there are no romantic feelings attached then it's just like finding an old scrapbook or photos - a happy memory of your youth

No of course you should keep it, for all the reasons you outline!

I've got all my letters, photos, everything. They're about ME and MY history. Some of them also relate to exes, but that's not the important bit! I don't want to throw away some of MY memories just because they link to previous romantic partners. It's exactly what you state OP - the letter reminded you of YOUR youth, and other things which relate to you. If your DP felt threatened by that, that would be a bit pitiful to be honest. Definitely keep it. That's very sweet.

I have a bundle of letters from a ldr 20 years ago!! Binned all of exh cards /letters but kept really old stuff!! Brings back fond memories not still carried love!!

What happens to us before we meet out current partners helps shape the person we are.

Dh has his wedding photos from his first marriage in our loft. They contain images of his family who have long since passed away. Just because his ex wife is in them doesn't mean that's the reason they have been kept, letters are the same imo.

I'm glad a lot of you think I should keep it. It really is harmless but I'm just worried dp will think I've tried to hide it from him. Should I tell him I found it?

Tell him, I did when I found an old ice cream tub with all my love letters in from when I was 17. They're now sat on top of our wardrobe, waiting to be moved into the attic for prosperity!

Initially I was going to question why you'd want to. I remember burning a set of letters an ex sent me. BUT now I think YANBU. It's not who it's from but the contents inside. Definitely keep.

I do have letters from friends way back. My DH has seen the envelope with letters but has never pulled them out to read. His view is that they're my personal property. They could be from anyone.

I'd be the same with him if he was sentimental like that.

It sounds lovely. After I moved in with my dp, I found allsorts of things of his. I think he might have felt much the same and that maybe he shouldn't want to keep them. I bought him a box to keep things in and he still enjoys looking through it. I can't see any problem with this - we are all a reflection of our past experiences.

I would definitely keep it but let your partner know. It'll look bad if he finds it in honesty!
Just say look DP I found this how funny? Look at the joke etc. I'm sure he'll be fine if he knows

I've kept all mine, it's a lovely way to pass an hour every few years. Pure nostalgia but not remotely impacting the present. I feel sorry that many of today's kids won't have actual letters to hold on to, just emails and the odd card.

I have a single card from my ex. I was going to bin it but I decided not to. He's dead now and I'm glad i kept it. I don't still love him at all, but you can't erase your whole past.

You seem very worried about what your DP will think. I think mine would think it was cute. Is your DP worrisome in this area?

Just mention it in passing, make reference to the joke etc. If you think he's likely to kick up a fuss maybe take a photo first just in case he overreacts and makes you chuck it! But he shouldn't do - it's harmless and a lovely memory.

YANBU to keep it. I have letters/cards/gifts from all my ex's and love reading through them from time to time. My favourite is the birthday card my now DH gave me when I turned 17, though (we lost contact and didn't meet again until early 20s) as it's so funny - reminds me of a different time! The love letter you have is harmless. Don't think twice about keeping it.