to think my 5 yo is too 'hyperactive'??

[BabaBabybel]

My DS has always been a very busy, fast, active kind of child and as I was a young parent and not had lots of experience with children I didn't think much of it.

He started school in September and since then I have been looking at other children and noticing he seems very different to the other children. From the second he wakes up (6am) to bedtime (7pm but he can stay awake until gone 11 at times) he is really full on, he is very loud and fast with his speech, and wont even wait to let me finish a sentence before he says what?. He punches and bashes himself in the face, not hard but must hurt, and when I say why are you doing that he will say I dont know, or 'I llike it'. He rarely has quiet moments although he will play on a DS for 20 mins or so after school, the rest of the time its mummy watch me mummy look at this etc. I go to bed exhausted, he gets up a lot of the night and has to be put back to sleep.

I have spoken to his school and they dont have major concerns and just call him 'busy' and say he talks a lot etc.

We have a 11 month old baby also and he is disrupting what little sleep he gets and disrupts naptimes by stomping around/shouting etc. at weekends or holidays.

Is this just normal 5yo stuff or should I raise it with my GP??

the punching himself in the face would really concern me. have a word again with the school and mention this specifically to see if they have noticed it. always go and see your GP if you are worried. if your instinct is that this is not right then follow it. always.

Also be mindful of what he is eating - check for E numbers in your cereal and sweeties etc the least processed the best with hyper children can work wonders!

I would also see the GP

It isnt a full on punch but he is hitting himself if that makes sense, he has done it infront of people before who kind of see it as a weird/funny thing he does but it has been bothering me more as he doesnt seem to be growing out of it like I thought he would if it was a phase.

He is quite fussy food wise but doesnt have a sweet tooth so rarely has chocolate/sweets. He has wheetabix for breakfast, generally a ham/cheese/peanut butter sandwich and crisps for lunch then will have fairly varied dinners normally what we are having.

Speak to your GP. You will probably be referred to a specialist service and there may be a long waiting list so you might as well get onto it sooner than later.

Sounds like DS and we kind of expected schools to be decisive, realize now it is not their role to diagnose or attempt to diagnose so don't wait for them to give you a steer, they won't.

I got a phone appointment with the GP so I didn't have to take DS and talk about his behavior in negative terms in front of him. I didn't specify what I thought might be going on, just said he had struggled to behave appropriately at school from the start and was increasingly unhappy about school, and we felt it was time to see if there was any underlying condition. This when he was 7, but delayed as we re-located and allowed time for him to settle down in new home and school.

He was referred to child and adolescent mental health service, got an appointment after 10 months and within 3 weeks was diagnosed with ADHD. He has got easier as he has got older and is at a great school with a great teacher. We are still considering whether to ask for medication, at least we know the option is there if he is struggling at school. It was a huge relief to be told it was nothing to do with our parenting, in fact parenting a child like this can be 10 times as hard. No wonder we're exhausted.

As he has got older we have found activities that he enjoys that give us a break e.g. he goes to drama club for 2.5 hours and that gives me time to do housework/shopping/meet someone for coffee in peace. I find him much easier after a little break like this. Even if you have to stay at wherever the activity takes place, it is a relief to have someone else manage his behavior for an hour.

Always found swimming settled us all and wore him out, might not be possible if you have to take the baby. Once in a while, soft play while you have a coffee. Leisure centre with pool, café and play frame makes a wet Sunday easier to bear.

Best of luck.

To be honest, if you - his mother - notice a difference compared to other children, there probably IS. It's more common to overlook/ignore differences IMHO.

The hitting himself in the face could be sensory seeking? I would definitely go to GP. Keep a diary of typical behaviour including sleep etc for a few days if you can.Maybe also take a few videos? I filmed him on my phone to show how he behaved in certain situations (e.g home,.playparks etc.) As in the doctors office he would be the epitome of calm

My daughter is currently being assessed for dyspraxia. I knew there was something there but everyone else seemed to think I was imagining it! I think you need to trust your instincts.

Thanks everyone. King Did you find a diagnosis made it easier to cope with? Did your DS get more support at school etc.? We already do the soft play for a break actually, some mornings I will take them both let DS run around for an hour or so just for a bit of space to let the baby play without DS up in his face. He also seems easier to deal with after letting off some steam!

he doesnt seem uncomfortable socially, and does have a lot of friends at school who see him as the funny one and he likes to make them laugh doing silly things. There doesnt seem to be a pattern when he is hitting himself, but I have noticed the mummy mummy look etc. increases the second I have to feed the baby or when the attention isn't solely on him.

Ive tried talking to family including his father (we are seperated) but no one seems to think there is anything more to his behaviour than being a 'typical 5 yo boy' but I just feel like somethings wrong but have been sort of scared to say it outloud??

My 6 year old DD was a very 'busy' child. She didn't punch herself in the face though. She just did not stop. She never sat down to watch tv or play with toys, always talking non-stop and "watch me mummy, play with me mummy", any activity I would set up for her would only hold her attention for a couple of minutes, she also stopped napping before she was 2 and never napped in the day since.

I used to look at other children her age when I was out in the shops etc. I would see the other children standing quietly still next to their mum in the queues or walking quietly alongside the shopping trolley and be so jealous. She wasn't badly behaved, she just couldn't stand still or be quiet.

All school said was that she didn't have the concentration that she should have and was 'very chatty' but she was top of her class for some things so it wasn't really a big deal. They said she was very well behaved and very well mannered.

She's 6 now and I can't tell you the difference in her this last year. She'll amuse herself now for a good length of time, has improved concentration at school and life is just that little bit easier. She's still a chatterbox all the time but is slowly becoming less 'busy'...and I'm getting less exhausted...The 2-5 years really were exhausting, my brain never got a rest from the minute she got up til she fell asleep.

Has your DS always got up during the night? My DC started doing this when she was between 4-5 and it was because she was having bad dreams, they seem to have settled back down now and she maybe only gets up once every 2 weeks or so. When they were at their worst it was maybe 2-3 times a night.

The last year or so has been the worst for night waking, sometimes its bad dreams, other times he is up playing with toys or just comes in 'for a cuddle' which while it is sweet, that wakes up the baby who then takes hours putting back to sleep so its disturbing everyones sleep!

There is an element of him maybe just being a busier child, I know the feeling though in supermarkets etc. I feel like taking him is like taking a wild animal his arms are all over the place knocking things off shelves picking things up, constant talking etc. I try to get most done while he is at school.

The diagnosis helped us in the sense that we're no longer wondering if we went wrong somewhere, and having a consultant psychiatrist tell us we're doing a good job. Also went along to a support group for parents of children with ADHD, which was useful.

He doesn't get, for example, a pupil support assistant in the classroom, but support in other ways like reward for good behavior (basically a little star chart that he brings home).

It's good to know that if behavior reverts to what it was about a year ago, we could ask for meds. We were despairing and he would probably have ended up being excluded.

DSIL's first reaction was "Oh, I'm sorry..." but he's still the same DS, we love him, he's great, we can get help if we need it.

No one can diagnose over the internet, there could be all sorts of things going on, but I would certainly say don't be afraid of getting a diagnosis, whatever it might be.

I recognize that "wild animal" thing. DS used to find it almost impossible to relax, I could hug him at bedtime and he felt completely rigid, like a coiled spring all the time. We have worked on relation techniques, not easy at this age but there were some tips in this book:

The Kids' Guide to Staying Awesome and In Control: Simple Stuff to Help Children Regulate their Emotions and Senses

That help if I remind him just before the wildness gets to the point of no return. I ask him if he wants to have e.g. a lovely bedtime with cuddles or a cross one with shouting. That sometimes helps.