AIBU: To expect a favour to be returned?

[ProfessorHannigan]

AIBU I do I need a grip?
This year I have been instrumental in helping three friends get a new job.
Friend A: gave her significant help on her actual application (editing/re-writing) for the organisation (where I work in a different role). Boosted her along before the interview by giving tips and insights into the organisation etc.
Friend B: Sent her an email siggesting she appply for a job in the same team I work in. She hadnt seen it advertised. I also put in a good word for her with the boss.
Friend C: Co-worker at the same level as me. I negotiated for us both to have a payrise (30% rise) under my own steam at my own initiative.
None of these people know each other and all of them got their new role as a result of their own ability but also with some key help from me. However, not one of them has said thanks/offered to take me for a coffee or anything. The most I've had is a "it was a good job I spoke to you...".
AIBU? I know each incident is unconnected but for all three to simply not bother makes me wonder whether the issue is mine?
I've always reciprocated with flowers/wine/chocs but it seems perhaps this isn't the case any more?

I think you gave Freind A and Freind B substantial help to be fair. Freind B wasn't even aware of position becoming available. Never forget those who helped you up because you might need them again on the way down springs to mind. Sometimes you can help someone with an idea even.

I agree, you don't do favours to expect something in return. If you do get something in return then that's a bonus not a given.

It does come across as if you think what you did for these people was a large contributory factor toward them getting their jobs, raises etc but maybe it wasn't as big a factor as you think and they think that they got where they did mostly on their own merits. Is it perhaps a case that you are slightly over-inflating your role in this? I agree an acknowledgment would be nice, a thank you for your help would be nice but flowers and chocolates? Like pps have said, friends don't do favours in the expectation of gifts or effusive (and everlasting) thanks nor is their a statute of limitations on when a favour has to be returned.

I'm not over inflating my role/help. I ended uo having a couple.of sleepless nights because I realised I had pretty much written Friend As application for her her first attempt was honestly appalling in terms of sentence structure/paragraphing/even spelling I was worried it would be almost fraudulent. However she aced the interview and got the job and all is well.
I'm not keeping score. I do things for other people all the time (including a caring role for two people who aren't family members), but having had a few months of feeling very depressed indeed, one of the things that occured to me was that I felt like I was being taken for granted. In considering why I felt that way it occured to me that it was largely because no one expressed their appreciation. That's why I'm asking on here as to whether I need to get a grip or not. My expectations are obviously set too high or something.

Would you say your inside knowledge and actions helped them get ahead of the competition unfairly?

Perhaps you need to take a little step back then?

Do a little less and take more time for yourself. Look after yourself for a change.

I think you are feeling a bit sensitive. If you have been feeling a bit down and taken for granted generally, then it's easy to over analyse things.

You did a helpful thing for those people. Perhaps they thanked you and because you have been feeling a bit sensitive you didn't quite catch it or expected more. Just move on. Don't stop doing helpful things big or small. Don't become obsessive about looking for people showing gratitude. Be confident in yourself and your own self worth. It's swings and roundabouts with helping people - sometimes you are doing more of the helping and sometimes it's others. Try not to over analyse it. And better to be a kind helpful person is doesn't get all the thanks they should receive than a mean person who won't help anyone anyway!

You know, some people aren't that good at selling themselves on paper, my DH is hopeless while very engaging in person and brilliant at his actual work, so I always help him with wording and proofreading/editing his resumes and applications. Unless you 'padded' her relevant experience and exaggerated her qualifications I honestly don't get what would be fraudulent or why you'd lose sleep about doing similar for your friend. And I sincerely doubt she expected that you would put that much pressure on yourself. As you say, you did help her in getting to the interview stage but she got the job all by herself. Perhaps it is your depression, for which I hope you are getting the support and help you need, that is exacerbating your feelings of resentment at what you perceive as their ingratitude re your part in your various friends' career successes - it comes across as a bit 'now they owe me' martyrish tbh, again this may also be rooted in your depression.