Stories of smugness please

[Fidoandacupoftea]

Got a driving fine in the post for the family car that DH mostly drives. It is in my name so fine addressed to me. As I read the details to him he nods and says I should read the signs before turning, turned right at a no right turn junction. Got some driving tips/ lecture from him. We then proceed to watch the video and lo and behold it was him driving. He has spent the last hour going through google map and grumbling how the sign is too small, council is money grabbing etc etc. I can't stop feeling smug even though it is a hefty fine. Any one else has any stories of smugness with know it all other halfs

My ex used to love it when I got things wrong. He'd rejoice if I made a mistake or didn't get something right. One day I couldn't find my keys. I was getting stressed about it as I had to go somewhere soon and was looking everywhere and he had this stupid smug grin on his face watching me frantically look.
Then we found them. Under things on his desk where he had obviously put them as I wouldn't ever to near there. Not as good an example as yours but I felt the weight lift!

DH was a professional driver and loves to lecture me on my driving...I replied, hang on a minute, how many times have YOU crashed MY car? 4! (2 fault and 2 non fault) How many times have I crashed it? Big fat ZERO! Piss off and get your own car if you dont like my driving so much.

Back when we only had two DC, we went on a trip away, via plane. We'd been allocated 2 lots of 2 seats separately so DH looked after the oldest DC and I had the DD who was breastfeeding, who was 14 months. We boarded at her nap time and I knew she'd feed and then sleep so I latched her when we got on. Most people passing us either didn't notice or didn't care but a man in front of me, who was travelling with a baby (I don't know if the baby's mum or another carer was there as well) was very head shaky and sort of raised eyebrows at me. I still have no idea why but I assumed it was because my DD was "older" and I was very relaxed about a public feed. I don't think I was misreading him because the woman just behind him (maybe mid 50s) made a massive deal about how it was lovely to see a toddler being fed.

Anyway, DD fed, went straight to sleep and didn't stir for the duration of it whereupon I serenely read my book. Half way through the flight the man's baby began to scream and as he was frantically sorting out its bottle I gave him a lovely, beatific smile.

(Not a bottle vs breast comment, but a fuck you for judging me for feeding my baby in public one).

It was winter, snow on the ground and someone had parked almost directly opposite our driveway. I'm going to work and DH is saying watch out for that car opposite, don't forget its really slippy out there, etc. Then ( and he never does this) stands at the front door as I reverse off the driveway. I rang him when I got to work to tell him what a cheeky git he was, checking I wouldn't crash into the car behind me. 'Erm, you'll never guess what I did' he replies. Yep, totally forgot about the car, reverses off the driveway straight into it!
Ah, the smugness I felt!