To be annoyed about this?

[CaseyClay]

Will try and explain as briefly and clearly as possible. Found out I was pregnant in November which was unplanned and an accident. The father went cold as soon as I told him and disappeared so decided to do it alone. My best friend said she'd support being birth partner which is fantastic. The thing that has been getting to me is that in March I got chatting to a guy, we were getting to know each other. As friends do I told my best friend about him. She didn't seem very happy, didn't ask any questions about him. I was seeing him for a couple of months before he decided he couldn't continue as didn't know how he'd cope with me having another mans baby which is completely understandable. Obviously I was bit upset and text her during another conversation saying things were off with me and him. Didn't get a response to that part of the message and it was like she'd completely ignored that I had said it. Never once did she ask about how things were going with us, nor has she ever mentioned it. I just found it really bizarre as if this was the other way round I would have been interested or at least appeared so and checked she was okay. Can't work out why she would have been like this? Maybe it's my hormones over reacting but it's quite upset me that she has been like this.

Ask her have a chat. Maybe she's just worried.

She's probably worried that you've got enough on your plate without trying to complicate things further.

Surely she'd say that though. And also I would have thought she would at least seemed interested and not completely ignored the fact

Maybe she's adhering to the saying 'if you can't say anything nice, say nothing at all'.

Was she ever interested in your ex relationship/s?

Perhaps she didn't feel she could offer anything positive to say so said nothing? My cousin started a relationship when her baby was 2 weeks old. I thought it was ridiculous and that she should have been focusing her attentions on the baby. I said nothing though - neither positive or negative. 2 years later, he's adopted the baby and they are very happy. I was wrong to judge and I'm glad I kept my mouth shut or I could have caused hurt and upset.

Yes always been interested in past relationships @Funnyfarmer which is why it's so out of character. Also she's not one to beat around the bush, positive or negative she would make her opinion known. The more I think about it I wonder if she wanted to keep me and baby to herself so to speak and didn't want the chance of someone else potentially getting in the way?

Possibly. Maybe she felt really hounded that you've asked her. And by raising the subject of the other man might raise the subject that you no longer required her. She possibly felt pushed out. Or like you only wanted her while you had nobody eles.
Did you ever reassure her that you seeing this other bloke changes nothing?
Or maybe she just got sick of getting too involved in your drama of a new bloke so soon after the last one. She was there to pick up the pieces for you last time and then you just jumped straight in to a new relationship?
Of course I don't know if any of those are true I'm just trying to help you think of reasons to why your friend would behave the way you've said.
I have a friend who jumps from one relationship to another (Not saying you do)
It's was always the same cycle. She met bloke I was always happy for her wanted to meet him no all about him. She would forget all about me. They would break up expect be to come running with my wine and soft shoulder. She would then vow men are of limits and all she needs is her friends around. Then the cycle would start again. We're still friends but I don't really invest any time in her relationships any more. It gets tiering.
Hope I don't seem harsh?
I could be totally wrong?
Is she still going to stick by you with the baby?
You must think a lot of her to ask her and she must think a lot of you to exept. Hope you both work it out

Honnerd not hounded. Sorry

Ffs honoured

Hi Funnyfarmer. Its OK you don't seem too harsh, I appreciate your support in how to look at the situation!
She had actually offered to be birth partner before I had chance to ask which is fine and I would imagine she would have known that that wouldn't change just because I was seeing someone new. She would know it would not seem right to me to have another man there that wasn't the father.
There had never really been any drama with past relationships and any disagreements I had with partners were kept between myself and partner unless I needed her advice or I felt I was at risk of danger. The father simply decided he wanted nothing to do with the pregnancy or child after feeding me a lot of BS about how he felt about me. Came quickly apparent that he was saying things just to use me. I got over that pretty quickly and just tried to focus on the positives and the baby. I have had a few relationships in the past with different guys but that has never stopped how our friendship works. Always saw her/see her the same amount, do what we normally do etc.
I have also felt recently that she has lost interest in me as when we are together she seems to not be able to focus on a conversation with me and always seems to be on her phone. It's like sometimes when I talk to her she doesn't hear me properly as she is so engrossed in what she is looking at on the phone so I don't get a response. I have noticed this more and more recently. Even to the point where we have been out for lunch recently and her phone has been pinging throughout and been more interested in that.

I am not a confrontational person so I would find it hard to bring up the subject. Maybe I overthink things. Also she forgets about things we have arranged unless I remind her. Just feels like she offered to be at the birth just to witness it as she said she would have been at her sisters/friends if they hadn't chosen other people. Maybe its hard for others to see where I am coming from as they don't know the situation as well as myself. I don't really have any other people to talk to apart from work colleagues.

But thank you again for responding :)

If you don't want to loose her has friend you really need a good chat. Find out where you stand. She may well regret offering.
I think it does sound as though she felt pushed out by the other bloke.
It's really not uncommon for someone to take up a new partner while pregnant and for them to become the "dad"
I raised my dd on my own and my close friends was a god send.
I feel making a decision to be someone's birthing partner is also making a decision to be a big part in that childs life. Maybe she never thought about that when she asked.
Either way you both need to sort it out.
Do you still want her to be your birthing partner?
I expect she feels awquard about approaching the subject too.