To not want my children to go to my parents/IL if we die

[Anditstartsagain]

Just that really we both had questionable upbringings not awful but not what I would want for my children at all. My best friend would take them I know we have more of less the same parenting style and I know she would respect my wishes and spend the money on the kids nothing else. I have sorted it legally but an aware they could challenge it.

DP is on board but doesn't want anyone else to know incase we offend our families. I don't really want to bring it up either but wonder if we should make our wishes known. Tbh I doubt either would really want the kids anyway it would be more of a what would the neighbours think situation.

Out of interest, Persian cat lady, why was the Gm considered a more suitable parent?

We don't have anyone to ask to look after our 2dc. Our parents are all in their late seventies and can't even manage the dc for a whole day. We have siblings but either disinterested or mental health problems. I caht thibk of any family memvers who would want to. We don't have any friends close enough to ask. This thread is scaring me so I might go and think properly about it.

Op I think your reasons are valid and all you can do is write a letter to explain why. As others say, it's unlikely to happen but you'll know you've done your best.