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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this Headteacher being unreasonable?

68 replies

user1471507501 · 10/06/2017 11:57

I work in a school as a TA. The parents of the school have closed group Facebook pages for most year groups. Inevitably, they sometimes have a moan about the school on them. I happen to know that our Head has spies on some of these pages that keep him updated about any discontent. He will even say in the staff room "You'll never believe what so and so said on Facebook." I feel what he is doing is inappropriate. What do others think?

OP posts:
NotYoda · 10/06/2017 12:43

People should not post this stuff on Facebook

Speak to each other privately, or approach the school. Grow up!

The Head should not be reporting this stuff back to the staffroom.That's adding to what sounds like a poor relationship between parents and staff. If parents find out about that (they will; schools are like leaky sieves) then how's that going to help?

Bad form all round

NotYoda · 10/06/2017 12:45

that's adding

I suspect there are a few serial irritants and stirrers among the parents and the Head is frustrated. But it's part of his job to only share that with people who need to know

purplecollar · 10/06/2017 12:52

Many of the teachers and the head are included in the group for us, which I think's a good idea. We get no inappropriate comments that way.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 10/06/2017 12:55

At one point ds's school was so appalling at communication with the parents the only way to get hold of any member of staff was to post something on the fb page and miraculously you'd suddenly get a call Grin

Original poster
user1471507501 · 10/06/2017 12:58

The consensus seems to be that you can't expect anything on FB to remain private. Fair enough.

OP posts:
blankface · 10/06/2017 13:00

Loopylou00 Sat 10-Jun-17 12:30:42

You've posted on the wrong thread, think you wanted the Scottish meetup one Smile

Back to this thread, what's the difference between parents chatting/gossipping in the playground where the Head will be kept up-to-date via people who think he ought to know what's being said, or the gossip taking place on FB and some parents letting the Head know what's going on?

witsender · 10/06/2017 13:00

As adults they have the right to say what they like tbh. What others think of us isn't our business really.

isittheholidaysyet · 10/06/2017 13:10

Is this one of those schools where you can't get to see teachers or head for love nor money?

Sounds like a good way to get heard.

(If it's on Facebook it's public.
If parents are posting problems about school head needs to listen and sort them.)

beepbeepimasheep · 10/06/2017 13:10

facebook is a private as advertising billboards so it's not unreasonable, it's foolish to think that anything on FB is private.

OddBoots · 10/06/2017 13:15

I'm firmly of the belief that if you post something on the internet, regardless of how closed the group, you should expect it to be in the public domain. That is something we should understand ourselves and certainly something we should be teaching our children.

JayneAusten · 10/06/2017 13:17

He sounds worryingly insecure to be indulging in this. Perhaps he should concentrate on trying to run the school in a way that won't provoke complaints rather than spying and gossiping about what people say!

Bluetrews25 · 10/06/2017 13:20

a) Eavesdroppers never hear good about themselves
b) When the spies get found out they will not be popular
c) How would he feel if one of the staff went and ratted to a few parents on gossipy/moany staffroom conversations about other parents? (because I bet there are some!)
and finally..
d) by gossiping, he's let the governors down, he's let the school down, and most of all, he's let himself down Wink sorry, couldn't resist!

TheMysteriousJackelope · 10/06/2017 13:20

The parents would report back to him regardless.

He is sensible to want to know what is being said about his school.

The parents on the private Facebook pages should have more common sense than to think this wasn't going to happen. Quite a few of my Facebook friends are Facebook friends with teachers at the local schools. Just having not great privacy settings on some accounts means stuff is going to show up that people might not expect to show up. I got to read all about the dress code debacle of 2014, and my children don't even go to the school concerned.

BlondeB83 · 10/06/2017 13:20

The parents are being unreasonable and very naive if they think closed Facebook groups mean privacy. Good on him.

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 10/06/2017 13:24

If it's anything like our parents' page he does right in keeping tabs. Some of the things said are verging on libellous. However, don't think he should be chatting about it in the staffroom.

Missingthepoint · 10/06/2017 13:29

He is behaving no differently to most employers. Where I work I can be disciplined/sacked if I put anything on social media that is derogatory or negative about the firm. Why should schools be different? Is he mentioning it in staffroom as an informal way of saying "be careful". Teachers are often libelled on social media and by now people should realise that nothing is secret.

thatdearoctopus · 10/06/2017 13:31

Show me a "private" FB page about a school and I'll show you a Head Teacher who has read every word of it!

isittheholidaysyet · 10/06/2017 13:41

missing

Because your employer is paying you.

Parents of school children are effectively 'paying' the school. (Through taxes)

Yes teachers should be wary of what they post on Facebook because they might get disciplined or sacked.
Parents will not get disciplined or sacked.
The analogy does not work.

It is more like a customer complaining of bad service on a company's FB page. The company should reseolve the issue.
However an employee shouldn't complain on the page of the company he works for.

CheeseQueen · 10/06/2017 13:42

So he has parents that tell him what other parents are saying. Even posting on a closed group you know that anything you say can be repeated by any member to anyone else. If you don't want people to know what you put on the internet don't post on it.

This. Surprised you're allowed to gossip on FB about school things anyway. There's strict social media rules about stuff like that.
Putting it on the internet isn't like chatting to your mates - you're publishing it on a big public noticeboard.

Supermagicsmile · 10/06/2017 13:43

I don't see anything wrong with it. They are legitimate members of the group and can share whatever they like! If they want to share with him then that's fine.

RedSkyAtNight · 10/06/2017 13:51

Not sure how this is any different from Mrs Jones going to see the headteacher and telling him what Mrs Smith has been saying in the school playground?

thatdearoctopus · 10/06/2017 13:59

If you have an issue with something at your child's school, go through the proper channels, don't bitch about it on social media. Or if you do, have the courage to own it.

PurpleMinionMummy · 10/06/2017 14:12

Sadly some people DO take their issues to school and get fobbed off. THEN they get hacked off and moan on social media because they're frustrated.

CheeseQueen · 10/06/2017 14:16

Not sure how this is any different from Mrs Jones going to see the headteacher and telling him what Mrs Smith has been saying in the school playground?

Publishing concerns about school/teachers/what they have or haven't done onto a public forum is completely different to talking about it in the school playground.
A local group put a school problem onto FB the other week where I live, cue people discussing the school, various teachers and how they were rubbish etc.
You can't do that. There's laws about defamation of character and libel.
It's not something everybody automatically knows, just like politics of far away places (like on another thread on here today)
You have to actively look up libel laws if you don't know them, and not everyone does. Just like with politics that isn't studied in schools.
I know them as I've studied them. Maybe law should be compulsory now in this age of Facebook and Twitter.

CheeseQueen · 10/06/2017 14:19

Parents will not get disciplined or sacked.

No, but they can get pulled up for discussing and naming people they have a problem with and detailing it on the internet. Quite rightly too.