AIBU to ask you to help me sort my life out, please?

[ConsciousCoconut]

Backstory, I should be the person that's acing it in life, instead I'm struggling with a severe and enduring mental health condition and just about managing to (sometimes) keep my head above water. A lot of the times the only reason I manage to do it is because I'm sinking so low I can physically kick myself off the dredge at the bottom of the pond for a gasp of air.

I need to make some changes but I just don't know where to start. I think things would be better if I could keep some savings so I wasn't permanently stressed about money. I have some CC debt to pay off that I used whilst I was unwell - it feels totally overwhelming to get myself back above board financially. I realise there's way more that I need to do so if anyone has any tips they would be greatly appreciated.

Confidence has been killed along in this process too - that's probably the second point I really need to focus on.

All the thanks in advance, thank you.

Developing a routine would also be good (sorry for the drip feed of ideas).

Do you work OP? Do you have friends/family etc? It would help to know your circumstances I reckon..
are you getting treatment for your MH health problems?

Just a thought, bit it stands out to me - why should you be ace'ing it. Isn't that a lot of pressure to put on yourself. Sure loads of people have good times, and then some tough times but a lot of life is just muddling through. I just thought it worth thinking about - perhaps you're a bit harsh to yourself.

On the practicals, what's the plan to cut the debt down - do you have one? A cushion is a nice thing for sure

Secretlife0fbees Yes, I am getting treatment for MH issues. I am not currently working but I will be returning to work in September. I basically need to sort myself out financially for the Summer somehow and pay of some debt.

FreudianSlurp Thank you for the advice on happy planners - I will go and take a look at them now.

Almostthere15 I don't have a plan to cut down the CC debt. I was thinking of doing it a little each month, but more than the minimum payment. So I may set up a direct debit for say 100 pounds each month until I start work, and then just appreciate that in the first three / six months of work all my income should go towards the CC repayment. It concerns me a lot as I have never been in debt before and always had some cushioning. Was going to look at Task Rabbit etc. for jobs to do to try and make some income. Not sure if ebay is a good thing to do either?

In regards to "acing it", honestly, I would be fine if I could just consistently keep my head above water at the moment, rather than acing it. I just feel like the almost perpetual drowning is making everything worse.

Family are a long way away and can't support me, or give me a loan (couldn't afford too). Friends are all so confident and doing so well that it's really hard to be around them, also they are not great with MH stuff (not that I put it on them, they just prefer the confident, overachieving, version of me, not the anxious and quiet version). They've all stopped inviting me to stuff and no longer even both to reply to texts / messages.

Thanks so much for the responses so far.

Phone CCCS and get their advice about the debt. It's completely free and they can help negotiate payments though it will effect your credit rating. They can also help you make a plan to pay it off efficiently without contacting the companies so wouldn't effect your credit rating.

When you're working again you could try to get a 0% interest credit card, transfer the debt to that, and close the other credit account (so no temptation to use it again).

When it comes to life there no "should be doing xyz by now" that's a lot of pressure to put on yourself.

Sorting out a proper plan to clear the debt will help you feel more on top of things. It may not work for you but I always find writing things down is a good way to feel more confident in things. Rather than having a plan to pay so much now and then more later, make a plan on paper of how much debt there is and work out how much you can afford to pay each month (CCCS are good to hell with this). You can review this once you're back at work and have more income.

Try not to focus on how everyone else seems to have it all together while you don't, appearances can be deceptive.

Thanks for the advice, I don't really want to adversely affect credit score as to date I have managed not to (I think) - will need good credit references for rental etc. in the future.

The debt on CC is 3000 pounds. I have paid off 200 this month (just done it now) which is more than double my minimum payment. I feel so bloody stupid for ending up like this. So, this has given me four weeks to make 200 pounds for the next payment. I'll try and figure out a plan to do that. I looked at the online survey links (I searched in another thread but it seems quite difficult to actually make a good amount of money from).

How do 0 interest credit cards work, can I just transfer it once I am back to work? I bloody wish I'd never had a credit card now (although i wouldn't have been able to eat or sleep somewhere safe for the last 6 months so I guess that's the reason for having one!).

Make an actual plan. This will help more than anything with feeling in control. Work out your monthly budget. Do not feel bad if you can only afford minimum repayments now, especially as you should build up a small savings pot in case you don't get work immediately, or there is an emergency.

When you start working again, you will be able to pay more, and you should be able to get a 0% interest balance transfer, so that your debt will not be increasing at all. When I started full-time work again after a break as a student and due to poor mental health, I had £11,000 of credit card debt. In less than 2 years I was able to pay that all off and build up a small savings pot. I used two 0% cards to help me do that.

Yes, look for any work you might be able to do over the summer, but bear in mind that if you're still not well, it's okay not to do that or not to do much.

I'm sorry your friends haven't supported you through this. Now might be a good time to think about going out and meeting some new people. Maybe join an exercise class or a walking club? Budget in a small amount for doing a hobby you love. This also helps build some routine into your life. Try to have set bedtimes and getting up times. Use mornings for housework, admin, looking for work etc. Then try to plan nicer things in the afternoons - a walk in a local park, visit to an art gallery, watching Andy Murray win Wimbledon... Ideally some of those would involve being out of the house and with other people. If you meet someone you like, be proactive - ask if they'd like to have coffee sometime, or whatever.

You can do this!

Some credit cards do an initial deal where you can transfer existing balances for a small charge of say 3% (it varies by card) of the amount you transfer to the card, this balance is then interest free for 12-18 months depending on the card. This way all payments you make reduce the balance with no interest being added.

I had £1500 on a cc and transferred to a 0% card for a fee of £45. For the next 12 months all the payments I made came off the balance of £1545 with no interest being added so it was paid off within the year. If I'd left it on the original card I'd have been paying about £40 a month in interest so would have taken longer to pay off the balance.

The DebtFreeWannaBe forum on MoneySavingExpert.com is really good for helping people to become debt free. I highly recommend you pop over there and have a look.

Next month, (and following on) I suggest that if you can afford to put another £200 towards the debt, you only put £150 towards it. Put the other £50 in an emergency savings pot. It's really important to build up some savings to tide you over and stop you needing to resort to credit, if something comes up.

Transferring to 0% cards is also a good idea, to stop the interest building up.

Good luck.