ASD daughter and birthday 'party'?

[icantfindagoodname]

DD is ASD. Her birthday is next month and she decided she wants a day out at a local theme park rather than a class party. BUT, this year, for the first time she has made 3 or 4 good friends. I was thinking about inviting them over for a bit of a birthday tea, but her (mainstream) school is small and they only have around 9 girls in the whole class. DD would not cope if I invited all the girls from class but I feel like inviting these 3 or 4 girls for tea and cake would be a huge step for DD but I don't want other people to feel left out. So do I go ahead and invite the kids she has made good friends with? or leave it with the risk it could isolate her more from other kids in her class? DD is year 1 and turning 6 if that makes a difference.

I think people will understand. The small party sounds perfect.

3 or 4 girls is absolutely fine. :)

I think it sounds fine, you're inviting less than half the girls.

When I was younger I just invited my friends and that was it really, I don't remember any angst about whole class parties etc. My wee ones only 10mo and I'm already dreading all of the social politics school brings.

Hope your daughter has a lovely birthday.

If you're in a position to you could give the parents the invitations directly then the other girls won't even see them - also gives you a chance to chat to the parents if you haven't already.

Sounds perfect

Thank you, that is reassuring. I just know having more she would not be comfortable or enjoy it. I do the school runs so I was planning on giving invitations directly to parents :)

Couldn't you just talk to the other mums? There aren't many and you'd avoid an unintentional faux-pas. One of them might host something for the other girls at the same time?

I understand what you mean but I would rather not go through DDs ASD with them and am unsure how I would explain without that coming into the conversation. People are aware that DD is 'different' to their child but I don't feel happy, for me or her, explaining these things to mums I hardly know IYSWIM

This is fine and I don't think you need to talk to the other mums (or dads).