8 years ago I found some emails on my husband's phone from someone called Kimberley Starr. He was asleep when I found the first one and I was in such shock I could hardly take in what I was reading and he woke up part way through. It said something about thanks for the pictures, can you send more and that he was on holiday at a villa with his mates (we were actually on day 2 of our honeymoon!!). He hugged me and convinced me she was "just a random" and I stupidly carried on with the relationship. I think I was just in shock as I'd previously come out of a controlling marriage and didn't want to believe I'd fucked up again! Anyway, over the next 3 years I found at least 4 other email conversations from the same woman so not exactly a random, as he called her. On one occasion I left my phone by my bed and it runs a sleep recorder (as I talk in my sleep and was curious to record myself) and I came home to find his voice on there talking to someone but it wasn't exactly sexual just something like "I care about you and am always here for you" in a really sympathetic way. He's a sociopath (actually diagnosis, not just me plucking things out of thin air) so I've never known him to show an ounce of sympathy!! I couldn't hear any other voices though. He no longer works shifts so he's not had many opportunities to show me any cause for it still going on but his phone is always password protected and I've never trusted him since the first instance anyway.
As you can guess, I'm still here but a recent argument has brought all this to the front of my mind again and I'm seething and even shaking whilst typing this. I plan to give him an ultimatum this weekend of "sort yourself out or leave" and this is one of my biggest points to raise but was it a sort of online affair or is this quite normal?