To tell boyfriend that he can't cook?

[BellyAching]

Been seeing someone who prides himself on his cooking and baking. He's constantly wanting me to go around for dinner but he's a terrible cook and doesn't realise it.
A few weeks ago he said he was cooking korma. He'd bought a korma kit online and added a WHOLE tub of butter to it thinking it would make it creamier. It was vile and inedible. I told him after one mouthful that I couldn't eat it due to the butter and he was all offended and upset but the recipe had called for something like 25g. I asked why he'd gone against the recipe only for him to say all good cooks experiment! Another time he'd make chilli but added a whole bar of chocolate to it instead of the one square the recipe had called for. It tasted like vomit and again I couldn't eat it and he said I was being awkward on purpose. He brought some homemade flap jacks around for me and they had so much sugar in them my teeth hurt and as you bit into them you could feel the sugar crunching!

Tonight he has invited me around for fish pie but I'm dreading it and feel like I should tell him his cooking isn't good. I almost don't want to go as I'm sick of going hungry every night as he's incapable of following recipes. AIBU to tell him straight that his cooking sucks?

Oh tell him! I have a friend...and in our group, he's regarded as a genius cook. It irritates the heck out of me because he's OK! He's not amazing at all!

YANBU. Tell him to make tablet though, lots of sugar is a good thing in tablet.

Get him a hello fresh subscription

^^ stick to the recipe, mate.
Good cooks experiment. Not novices.

Tell him. Why would you not? So what if it offends him, he's a grown man, and if he cooks inedible food then order yourself something from a takeaway. No way would I sit there going hungry.

I am annoyed about the flapjacks!
Turn up with take away and tell him to take turns paying until he can read a recipe.

Or you offer to cook!!

He's obviously enthusiastic. Can you book him on a catering course, one that shows how different foods complement each other, so he can see that just massively increasing one ingredient in a dish doesn't work.

Top chefs taste their food after every addition, get him to start trying that and tell him you'll eat his perfected recipes, but not his revolting childish experiments.

My OH is an ok cook, but does insist on putting lots of butter and salt in everything (mushy peas anyone?) and it doesn't always improve the taste. He also will saute with lots of butter and no oil so it ends up burning..when mushrooms are served up they are floating in a vat of butter..Its just this side of edible so I dont complain. I have resigned myself to the fact we have different taste in cooking. the flaming heathen would throw away meat juices and use Bisto

Cant he come round to yours more often ?

YANBU, and his blaming you for not appreciating it is just not on - surely any experiment can fail and does not automatically equal good? That all of his fails seem the same [add tons more], it's not really much experimenting.

As someone who can't naturally cook but wants to (though never done anything like those things - I tend to overly stick to recipes but undercook without times as I've no eye for things being done) the best thing for me was having people cook with me to discuss it all as we go -- if he likes trying to cook, would that be an idea you think he'd go for, and you can suggest smaller/better ways to experiment?

At least your OH's actually cook, other than a bacon sandwich mine hasn't cooked anything, ever.

You have to tell him. It will ruin your relationship because every mealtime will become stressful. I'm quite direct so the way I'd approach it is the next time he 'experimented' on me I'd say 'I'm really sorry DP but I can't eat this - it's really not nice. Why can't you follow the recipes?'

This might cause an argument but at least it gets it out in the open.

I'd rather cook something myself or go without rather than eat terrible food that I'm supposed to be grateful for because, aw bless him, at least he tried.

Its not just that hes a bad cook, its that he gets offended that you don't like his inedible food.

Oh, lord. Experimental cooks. Yes. Aka, people who've never had to 1) budget for food properly or 2) cook regularly for a family.

Are you a decent cook, and does he like your food?

I find his reactions to be a bigger problem than the shit cooking. You can't be with someone who gets angry/offended/insults you ("you are being awkward on purpose") - how would you deal with real issues? With him acting like he's always right and you're 'always being awkward'? He doesn't appear to take anything you say on board and comes up with excuses.

A normal, pleasant person would say "Oh dear, I suppose I should have followed the recipe", not wanged on about how amazing and talented they are whilst putting you down at the same time.

Sounds like a bellend. The issue is one thing, but how he's handling it is deeply unattractive.

Does he really think his food tastes great? Has he no taste buds? Or does he just not like to admit that his cooking stinks? I would find his response very annoying. In fact I would be very blunt with him and if he was stroppy about it - as though somehow it was my lack of palate that was the problem - I'd dump him. Sounds like a bit of an arse. An arse that can't cook but won't admit it.

His food sounds vile OP! Poor you!!

Just tell him it tastes shit. Get a second opinion so he doesn't arrogantly assume it's you who can't taste.

I knew someone like this. They made a huge effort to learn knife skills to look better and they would bang on about nuances of flavour for 1 pot meals with 3 ingredients boiled to death for hours. Not as bad as your OH, but meals were never good.

^ yes, he must have no palate at all!

No real fix for that except learning you can't taste therefore must always follow the recipe!

My DH goes all chef, following recipes & buying special ingredients. And sometimes he makes nice things... But, he had no cooking know-how. If a recipe says "cook potatoes for 15 mins" he'll do just that & serve raw potato. Doesn't realise that hard veg goes in first, like carrots. General stuff that I'd just know...
The worst was when he bought Panda smooth peanut butter to make chicken satay. It was a big pot of sweet sticky mess.
He does get upset when if I say something... But he's improved at cooking & now knows my "oh, yummy?" face

Why don't you organise for you both to go to a cookery class one evening/weekend? It could be good fun and also help him learn a few skills (like not deviating from recipes!)

The sad thing is that any male who can do anything more than just stick something in the oven always sees himself as a "great cook", no matter how incompetent he is.

Ugh, my exH was like this, thought he was Jamie bloody Oliver and made vile concoctions.
As someone upthread said too he also used huge quantities of everything as he never budgeted or did the food shopping. Huge man child!

Please tell us, did he eat the butter korma OP??

Reminds me of dh's aunt who is a lovely woman but also oblivious to being a dreadful cook. I know she considers herself quite the whizz in the kitchen, so it's hard. Most of her food is pretty unappetising.