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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Do you lend your parents things?

41 replies

Herbie22 · 08/06/2017 21:13

I just took an overnight bag to my mum's because she is going away this weekend. OH said this was weird as she should have her own bag and not borrow off me. Yet he borrows off his dad all the time. He said that was different because he was the child in the relationship.
FWIW my mum does have her own overnight bag she just wanted to borrow mine as it's a bit bigger.

OP posts:

stiffstink · 09/06/2017 00:50

I have a dedicated area in my house for things that don't belong to us (aka lost property) and we have a list of stuff that is lost/borrowed but currently located at my parents' house.

melj1213 · 09/06/2017 02:02

My family always lend to and borrow things from each other - me, my siblings, my parents, my aunts/uncles, my cousins - some things have been lent out so many times, and are basically just "family property" with no specific owner and people only "owning it" until someone else needs it that nobody actually remembers who bought it in the first place.

We all have a collective view that it's just wasteful and illogical for someone to go out and buy something if someone else has one that is sitting in a cupboard unused. I mean I bought a flat-pack bookshelf the other week ... I had the basic tools to actually put it together but when it came to anchoring it to the wall I didn't have a suitable drill. I could have gone and spent ££ buying one for this one job but instead I called up my uncle (who lives a 10 minute walk up the road) to see if he had one. 20 minutes later he'd popped round with the drill, helped me anchor the bookcase to the wall and was heading back home with the drill and the rucksack & two-man tent I'd promised my cousin she could borrow for the local music festival she's off to next weekend.

MaitlandGirl · 09/06/2017 03:09

We borrow from / lend to family members all the time. Sometimes we even lend FIL things we've borrowed off him as it gets a bit complicated keeping track of who owns what.

We're going to have to initiate some sort of sticker system so we know who actually owns what - although the chances are if it's DIY related it's FILs and kitchen related it's mine.

We're none of us financially flush so we always call around to see if we can borrow something rather than buy it. I always figured that's what families do.

HappenedForAReisling · 09/06/2017 03:21

He's right when he says he's the child in the relationship.

MrsOverTheRoad · 09/06/2017 03:29

I borrow from my mum and MIL and FIL and have lent them ALL things!

My Mum took my pearl earrings for a cruise once...MIL has taken my luggage and we use FIL"s wood chipper all the time!

DesignedForLife · 09/06/2017 03:32

Of course! I've lent very expensive camera gear in the past.

LackOfAdhesiveDucks · 09/06/2017 03:39

Of course I'd let my parents borrow things. Unfortunately for them it's usually them who have the nice things that I want to borrow, but if they ever needed anything I'd never hesitate to give it to them. Same goes for the rest of my family (my aunts, uncles, cousins whoever).

sunnysouthend · 09/06/2017 07:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mmgirish · 09/06/2017 07:42

Of course I do! What a weird attitude?

hellokittymania · 09/06/2017 07:42

Yes, of course I would let my mother borrow things. When she was with me last year, I had to lend her bedding, cups and other things. I lent her my nicest pillows.

Socksey · 09/06/2017 08:05

No longer.... I lent them the deposit for my house 10 years ago on the understanding I would be able to have it back in 5 years..... when I asked (nicely) I was told I was being unreasonable and no way as I would just fritter it away.. . I am now in serious financial difficulties and still can't have it ... apparently I need to find a solution.... which doesn't involve my £80k lol

Socksey · 09/06/2017 08:07

Bye.. .. that's the short version.... I'm 45 and not known for my spendthrift ways.... OH lost his job a year ago.... hence the financial issues.. .. I work FT.... pay is not great

YellowLawn · 09/06/2017 08:10

I don't. because I would never get it back.
things get given to siblings and friends or sold...so I only 'lend' what I don't want/need ever again.

WaxyBean · 09/06/2017 08:11

If course - and I borrow things off them too. I did a load of their washing when their machine broke a few weeks ago too. Why wouldn't I?

Babbaganush · 09/06/2017 08:30

My parents live very close and we share lots of things! Works well for all of us.

Fluffyears · 09/06/2017 08:48

MIL uses having to borrow things to continue the illusion that she can't fend for herself. Her house and all contents reek of damp so I hate lending my nice luggage etc.

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