To think that extra-curicular events should not be compulsory?

[adventuresinleaves]

DS is in Y3. His school organize an annual extra-curicular event that they insist all students must attend. The children will be bussed to the event directly after school, and parents are also expected to attend as spectators. The children also require fairly elaborate costumes, which parents have to supply. DS (and a few of his friends) really don't want to go. He has been moaning about it constantly since it started being discussed at school. He got into trouble today for ripping up the letter telling me about the costume. I certainly don't condone his behaviour and don't have any problem with him being told off for it. However, I understand why he did it. I also have no particular desire to spend a couple of hours in an overcrowded hall watching an event I certainly wouldn't go to if DS wasn't in it, and I won't get any enjoyment out of knowing he resents having to attend. I have been quite neutral with DS about it. Explaining that he is expected to go and its only a couple of hours. I also told him off for ripping up the letter and getting in to trouble. But I agree with him and feel like throwing a similar hissy fit myself TBH. AIBU?

Threaten the school you'll fine them £60 for preventing him from attending home.

Seriously, don't consent to the trip. Tell them you'll be reporting them to the police for child abduction.

If he doesn't go will it let the others down? Leave someone without a partner? If so I would make him go and emphasise the importance of team work, etc. If not I don't know!

Yanbu. DS had a similar event (but singing) last year. He hates performing and was getting very anxious about it and in the end I said to school I didn't see any benefit in him attending. They were actually fine luckily.

I am not in the UK and where I am parents have to sign a letter giving the school permission to take children off the premises. Isn't there anything like that in the UK? If there isn't, just write to the school and state that your DS will not be taking part in this event, you don't have to give a reason, and that you will be collecting him as normal.

Or, just go to the school at the latest time they'll let you take him out and pull him out before they can corral him onto the bus.

As previous posters stated, if he's going to let the event down by not being there then he probably does need to suck it up and go. If he's just the equivalent of 3rd bulrush fairy on the right in Midsummer Night's Dream (my particular horror role) then I'd let him off from it.

I have never seen anything to equal the costume I had to wear. An elf suit would have been less embarrassing.

I am not in the UK and where I am parents have to sign a letter giving the school permission to take children off the premises. Isn't there anything like that in the UK? If there isn't, just write to the school and state that your DS will not be taking part in this event, you don't have to give a reason, and that you will be collecting him as normal

I agree.

A school dictating that an out of hours event was "compulsory" would immediately get my hackles up, especially one that has no educational value. Unless my child/ren really wanted to take part, then I would refuse out of principle. Thankfully my children attend sane schools that wouldn't overstep the mark so I doubt this is ever going to be an issue.

Is the event a one-off (with rehearsals during school time), or will there be a series of "compulsory" rehearsals or whatever after school as well? My kids' primary introduced an end of year concert, with every class taking part. Rehearsals were held during class time, but it was okay not to take part on the night, so long as you let the teacher know beforehand, so they didn't assign that child a vital part. This seems to be the norm; not bussing the kids to a "compulsory" event after hours.

As for him ripping up the newsletter, it wouldn't even be on my radar, so I certainly wouldn't be dwelling on it.

As for him ripping up the newsletter, it wouldn't even be on my radar, so I certainly wouldn't be dwelling on it.
I agree. Ripping up the newsletter is no worse than the school dictating what children should be doing outside school hours. Good on your child for standing up for themself against an abuse of authority.

My DS threw 100% attendance certificate in the school bin, he saw me throw them away at home.I talked to him about respect but don't expect him to celebrate him been well enough to go to school.

I would not make him attend a compulsory out of school event. I tell my DS school is the only compulsory activity.

Surely they make it 'compulsory' because there are a lot of parents who just won't be arsed otherwise and that's not fair on their children. I'm sure if you actually had an aversion to it you could just say he's not going. But, I would make him do it. He's not always going to be able to get out of doing things he doesn't want to do, so may as well learn to get on with it.

If you don't want to invent an excuse, create one. For example, does he need to go to the dentist anytime soon?

I wouldn't make my child attend, but I would be firm about the letter. He shouldn't have ripped it up.