To feel hurt at lack of family support

[NotAnotherUserName5]

Baby due in 11 days, so any day now.
My mum doesn't bother with me, hasn't even bothered to come and meet my two year old DC even once. We live a few hours drive away but she has a car. This hurts.

In laws live a couple of hours away, are retired with no commitments. DH asked them if they'd watch our dcs/ come up whilst I went into hospital with this baby. MIL got snappy with DH and said not to pin her down on a date. Still no date. Clearly don't want to.

So we are stuck with no one to watch the kids and my baby due anytime.

I sadly lost a baby last year and things went very wrong. I lost half of my blood and Became unconscious and briefly came around to find the room filled with doctors who were rushing around me before sending me into theatre.
So much happened in that day I can't forget. I relive it most nights and can't stop the flashbacks. It's coming up the anniversary of it all too which doesn't help.

I've also just found out I'm Strep B postive, so I have to go straight in when labour starts. I'm so scared I'll
lose my baby, or that I'll bleed badly again and die

I got upset last night/this morning and told DH how I felt and he hasn't taken this well. He got defensive regarding his parents. I know they are not obliged to help, but we never ask for any help. Just this once it'd be nice for them to be there for us. The kids love them, they are good with the kids.

Please be gentle with me, I'm pretty emotional.

I'm sure none of your worst case scenarios will happen but I do feel for you. Sounds like you're doing a great job on your own, but I'm sad as you shouldn't have to x

Oh I really feel for you. I know it doesn't help but I'd just go completely NC with your Mum she sounds useless. Do you have any good friends who could step in and help you with the DC. Or someone who'd be willing to be your birthing partner should your DH have to stay with the DC.
It's natural after what you have been through for your mind to wonder to worst case scenario but try to think positive, this time will be OK and you'll bring home a beautiful new baby.
and for you.xx

Sounds like you need to be practical here. Start looking for a friend or childminder to be on standby for when you go into labour

That really. Sucks, so sorry you've been through all this with no family support

What I would do if did. Some paid for childcare for your older child as your not going to be able to count on your family

A childminder maybe ?
You need to get some back up plans in place

Do you have any "mum friends" from having your first that might be able to help look after the older ones? I know I would help a friend in this situation.
Alternatively, look for a childminder.

I'm not surprised you are hurt (and anxious and scared). I think you need to make plans so you don't have to stress about it; you know you can't rely on them so you need an alternative. Do you have a friend you could ask? If not, a paid carer who would be willing to be on call? Please come back and tell us when your beautiful baby is born xx

Thanks,

I don't really know anyone well enough to ask in this area we live in.

I am pretty much NC with my mum. It hurts to open much when I hear of her having siblings dc over to stay when she has treated me so poorly.

We are going to look into a babysitter, but I'm not sure if there's such a thing as an on call 24 childminder/sitter?

Anyone know of such a thing?

I'm trying to stop being emotional and go back to being practical. I know I have to, but it's hard.

An emergency nanny might work. There are agencies but it wouldn't be cheap.

Is your little one at nursery? Maybe one of the staff would be willing to do it for a fee.

I'm sorry you've been through so much and things are tough. GPs don't have to babysit though and if they're not doing it willingly you really need to find local support. What do you already do for childcare for your dc?