To ask if you have a judgy inner voice?

[moutonfou]

I seem to have a judgy inner voice that I can't control, but then an. inner voice of reason which kicks in and admonishes the judgy voice!

Example: I was behind someone in the canteen who bought a full sugar fizzy drink and a Mars bar and my judgy voice was like 'woah, easy on the sugar!' But then my voice of reason was like 'well hang on, they may have diabetes and need sugar, or even if not, each to their own.'

Similarly with slow learner drivers: first the judgy voice is like 'oh come on, I haven't got time for this', then voice of reason is like 'come on, we all have to learn at some point.'

Anybody else have this?

Yes, I'm a human being with a set of behavioural norms - and an understanding of what drives them.

Of course! Doesn't everyone? It's just that though an inner voice.

Yep! I think everyone does!

Yes, and it sounds exactly like my mother.

It will say things like 'I shouldn't think you'll fit in that' or 'well I wouldn't chance it with your shape' (A NORMAL SIZE 10 ONE) and 'well what did you expect?' whenever things go wrong, or 'god you look awful' when I look in the mirror.

Honestly, she's relentless. I'm seriously considering therapy to try and shut the old witch up.

Absolutely, sometimes it's a judgy outer voice too but I try to control that.

Haha HarrietKettleWasHere yes I do wonder if the voice of reason is just my mum essentially. She's very 'if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all'

Of course, I assumed everyone did.

Mine sounds like she runs a WI and wears a twin-set and pearls.

Yup.

Isn't part of the problen that Internet anonymity has given voice to the inner voice that social norms would previously have kept silent?

True Herbluebiro , it's usually as I'm writing out the thoughts of the judgy voice on here that the voice of reason kicks in and I have to delete it all again!

Good. A better sense of propriety than most people on here (myself included. See my judgy inner voice spewing out there)

Constantly.

I don't have a voice of reason to counter-argue, more a second voice saying "don't say it aloud".

As I'm extremely thick-skinned, i also assume that no one would care if I voiced my judgement so there's no point in doing it.

Yep, I'm really judgy inside my on head. I try hard not to be though.

Yes, I have an inner voice that tells me I am never good enough and that it's always my fault etc.

But it is possible to change this. Positive thinking does help. I stop my inner voice and tell myself to take step back and give myself a break. I say things like "you're only human", "everybody makes mistakes", "it's not that bad", "stop taking the blame", "your look great" etc. I try to notice the good things I do, praise myself for them, and let go of the negative things. I think I also need to apologise to myself for being so hard on myself.

I have also noticed that my inner voice judges other people! And I think that if I stopped judging other people, perhaps I wouldn't be so harsh on myself.

I get a daily newsletter (in my native language) for self-love. It's really good, it reminds me that I am in control of my thoughts, and that I can choose to focus on the positive and that way control my mood, the atmosphere around me and the people in my daily life.

I tell myself that I am practising, then it doesn't feel like I fail if I let the dark thoughts take over. I just start again, if that happens.

I'm the same, but sometimes I realise that the judgy voice is ever so unsubtle DS1, standing next to me! DH and my mum both lack filter, too.

No, I hate the word 'judgy'. I have a judgemental inner voice. It only says things about other people's taste in books. Before people started reading primarily phones and kindles on public transport, my inner book snob used to fantasise about walking up and down Piccadilly Line carriages, plucking copies of The Da Vinci Code out of people's hands, replacing them with novels that weren't in prose so ghastly it was usually unintentionally funny, and saying 'NOW can you see the difference?'

I'm completely uninterested in the contents of your shopping trolley or your parenting, though.

I never understood the Da Vinci code was it all about her seeing her grandparents shagging?

Mind I did skim it as so bad.

Yes ok I do judge silently but my mother now with altzimers judges very loudly as does my teenage dd.

It's a minefield going out with them.