..to be so annoyed with my best friend?

[Janos]

Don't get wrong, she is a lovely, lovely person, who I love to bits and I don't want to give any other impression

BUT...
yet again, she has cancelled a long distance trip to visit me (she's in the SE, I'm in Scotland) just because her boyfriend can't make it (he has decided to do something else instead). Instead of coming up on her own, she decides she has to cancel everything because she doesn't want to come up without him! This is the second time it's happened in a month.

I end up reassuring her (AGAIN) that I'm not upset (AGAIN) and am OK with it (AGAIN)when actually I'm pretty pissed off! Why is this man, who she's known for 4 months, more important than me, who has been her best friend for nearly 20 years??? AARGH!!

I was really looking forward to seeing her and I just want to scream 'Get a F-ing backbone!'

Am I really being unfair?

"she deeply resents you. she is seething with envy at your dp and family. she wants kids and is angry cos you have them. she can't face you without a man cos you might have a chance to talk and she might let you know how she really feels about you.
"

Mmm, now you mention it I'm a single mother living in a council flat with my DS. I can see how that situation would inspire envy....

She wouldn't be driving, she'd get the train.

And I do go down to visit, as often as I can afford it!

Well,

I sent my friend a message saying "very disappointed I won't see you cos I miss you and was looking forward to it, can appreciate why you don't want to visit without X (the boyfriend) and it will be great to see you later"

Had to say it because I knew it would fester otherwise and I think that gets across how I feel without her feeling attacked.

Thanks again MNetters for your wise advice!

Thats really nicely put, If she is a good friend she wont mind at all I didnt when my friend told me I was neglecting her. Hopefully you will see her soon

You've posted before haven't you.

You were worried about the heating being on too.

Yanbu to be annoyed but yabu in reassuring her you're not upset when you are, so now she thinks it's ok. Be honest and gently tell the truth

This is 17 years old!!