to had expected dh to have remembered my first mothers day

[insywinsyspider]

i know i'm not but just feel sad today because he forgot - ds is 10mo and for fathers day i arranged picnic with both sets of parents when ds was 5 weeks old. he feels really really bad - i don't need to say anything but want to have a shout and stamp my feet - have had pnd and am being needy and wanted him to tell me i was doing a good job. i didn't want a present but a lie in in bed with them, cup of tea and a hug - we were at in-laws and he got up at 7 to get ds up and i eventually realised he wasn't coming back at about 7.30 so went downstairs to get a cup of tea... he doesn't know how to make it up to me and i don't know what to say because he can't, he needed to have done it yesterday.... grrr feel angry at self for not just getting over it because its been a tough year for all of us and he has been so great

anyway, can't tell anyone in rl because they'll think he's shit and can't tell him because he'll feel crap too so thanks for listening!

don't get angry with self - you've obviously done brilliantly if you've had pnd. problem with me is they're crap at knowing what we want instinctively, you have to spell it out to them...

it sounds like a genuine mistake rather than him just ignoring Mother's Day and it sounds as if he's feeling really bad about it - so give him a chance to make it it to you. You don't need Hallmark to tell you when is the right day for him to show his appreciation ... he can do that any time, and you could have a belated Mother's Day next week when he's prepared for it!

Go easy on yourself too, it's really not worth getting so wound up about a genuine mistake that he can put right if you let him.

next time you'll know to give lots of hints. Subtle ones, like "what I'd like for mothering sunday is"

Most men need hints like bricks.

thanks i know you're right - just needed someone to talk some sense and get it off my chest without making him feel any worse

insy - wish i could send you a virtual bunch of flowers, but am crap at that sort of technical stuff.
you feel let down. it sounds like you've had a lot to contend with but for dh taking ds downstairs for you to have a break. i know its not the same as a card and a 'happy mothers day' cuddle tho
am not sure that my dp would have remembered were it not for the fact that i've been reminding him every day for a week! unfortunately, most men, don't think the way we do with regard to birthdays and the rest.
hope you feel brighter soon.

its rubbish cause i hate how commerical everything is these days so i didn't even want a present - like i said just an acknowledgement... will get him to sort his mums card next year so it makes him remember

Message withdrawn

I don't think you are being unreasonable - it was my first Mothers Day too and I would have been devastated if DH hadn't acknowledged this and done something for me.

As it is, I dropped very unsubtle hints and ended up going shopping with him on Saturday to choose my own present (I wanted something special which I could keep) and then ended up cooking lunch for MIL, BIL and gf yesterday so not very relaxing.

I am not bothered about future Mothers Day but I think you are right wanting the first one to have been special - but as another poster said, let him make it up to you and perhaps have a late one next week instead.

A very wise woman said to me some years ago that she didn't expect surprises any more, so she spelt out to her dh what would make her happy - and then he had no excuses!