..for getting offended at my in-laws referring to my son as 'heavy' yesterday?

[americantrish]

..because his cousin (who is 3) is only like between 26 and 28lbs.. and ds is 2 3/4 and is 32lbs. (ds is 3"3', a good 2 inches taller than his cousin.) no one made a peep about ds's weight until his cousin came around to dh's mum's and then it was like 'oh calvin, i didnt realise how HEAVY you were' or 'ohh! you're a heavy boy!'

(by the 3rd, HEAVY comment, i finally remarked he is a good height/weight for his age and the HV has NO concerns as he's recently been height/weight checked.)

(that shut them up.)

i was about to burst beneath my skin!!!

he looks absolutely perfect
lovely boy

thanks troutpout!

(your name reminds of a pub not too far from us called the tickled trout!)

I don't think heavy and fat are necessarily the same thing really. DS is only 21 months and also 28lbs and even other children who look the same build as him are far lighter in comparison. I think it's quite a positive thing that he's such a sturdy chap!

As for the hyperactive comments I get them all the time I just say "yes he certainly loves life he's got a great spirit" people either agree or shut up.

my DD who is 2.5 yrs old (born oct 04) last weighed before Xmas - 36lb!!...she had always been a heavy girl but she is solid and tall..just over 3 foot tall. My HV said that her weight is spot on for her height

i find it funny when people expected my dd not to be heavy as i cant help but ask my friends/relatives to "pick her up"

AmericanTrish - glad it's not just me then . DD is only 5 months, but after MIL had commented for the umpteenth time on Saturday about what a big, heavy girl she was (and she did not mean big as in grown up) I had had enough. DH insists she means as in "big, healthy baby" but that wasn't what I was hearing

I get very offended when my MiL calls my 22 week old DD 'fatso'. She's tall and yes she's heavy but I was in a size 10 at 10 a half stone so I reckon we are just built of rocks.

Esp. as MiL could do with missing a few meals herself.

Many grandparents seem unable to avoid making public comparisons between their grandchildren, even though it's a right wind-up. My mum does it all the time about every aspect of her six grandchildren and if I ever put up a spirited defence of mine I'm accused of being touchy or unable to take a joke...Exquisite torture IME

tubinmybub> imo, at this age, heavy and fat arent the same, but as ds gets older, they will become one and the same. (as no doubt i was called the heavy child over my sister) and yes, whenever anyone says how active he is, i say, yes well i know he is healthy!!

exbury> ds ALWAYS got the 'what a BIG baby' comment when he was a baby. drove me mad. i finally starting telling people when they commented (yes, even strangers.) that i ate miracle grow when i was pg. and it WORKED.
yes, dh calls ds heavy too but not as much now.

tinkerbellhadpiles> i WOULD flip beyond words if ANYONE ever called ds 'fatso' that IS SO uncalled for. im so sorry....

sigh...at least i can vent here about it, because i cant say anything to dh about it!

i know the feeling but i have the oposite dd is tiny and everyone comments, can be a bit annoying but mostly i shrug it off. they tend to ask if she eats ok etc. which she does acctually but they reckon im starving her or summit!

shes 2y6m and was weighed a month ago and weighed in at.........24lb 11!! shes prob just over 2 and a half foot.

im not bothered shes fine!

but if you have problems with the comments you have to make your feelings clear, hints aren't much use in my experience!

biglips- the comparison between our dds must be huge!!! yet the same age, amazing sometimes isnt it!

tinkerbell had piles how rude!! thats not nice, i call my ds a little chub but its a term of endeerment (sp ) from me, hes not that big and doesnt eat so its sorta a running joke (hes 19 weeks), but if anyone called him fatso id go through the roof!!!

AmericanTrish - DS got similar comments but without the same emphasis - or maybe I am more paranoid about not wanting DD to grow up being told she is "big" or "chunky"? I did feel like pointing out to MIL that DD is significantly lighter than DS was at the same age and he is now (age 4) tall and on the skinny side... but I won't give her the satisfaction of rising to it as she will then tell everyone that I am "sensitive" which will just make it worse...[sigh]

exbury> oh i dont want ds growing up thinking he is 'heavy' 'big' 'fat' (from my own experience, those words heard over and over do a lot of mental damage.) perhaps we are more sensitive to it for our own reasons. but that isnt a fault to us.
sigh..i dont think my SIL would even mind that it bothered me.. she doesnt have children, so has no clue about how motherhood is...

I think "big" is OK when it is as in "big, strong boy" which is what DS got from MIL - but DD seems to be getting "big, fat girl" - v.different!

Your DS is far from chubby BTW - he's gorgeous!

I sometimes call DS "fatman" in an affectionate way, but realise it is time to stop now he is growing older, dont want him to have a complex! I do think some people are more sensitive to it than others, and also that it really depends on who says it. If my MIL said DS was getting a bit rounded I would go mad, if my own mum said it I would probably laugh and agree. Am always having strangers in supermarkets saying "ooh, he's cute, how old is he" and when I tell them them say "goodness, he's big for his age". He has a chubby little face, like his mummy.

exbury> yes, big strong boy would be acceptable. but i highly doubt it is meant that way when referring to my ds. thank you..

bigcook> i often just tell strangers when they ask how old ds is that he's 3 to avoid those 'he's so big' comments. :I it only seems to be my inlaws and strangers that make these comments, my own family NEVER would. nor would my friends.

Got told by one of the mums at swimming that DS just looked "so old". Had plenty of choice replies as to what HER DS looked like (rat was one of them), but held back .

sometimes its better just to think those things ;) i was doing it yesterday ;)

people always comment on my girls being 'tiny' they are a bit smaller eldest was 13kg when she was weighed last and she is nearly 3. she eats well, and is not ill so I dont worry about it.

It is hard to ignore because if I was a first time mum and not a mum of 6 it could really worry me and sometimes I say that, most of the time I ignore it and think if you cant say anything nice then shut the *K up!!!

my inlaws doit to ds2 all the time:
'isnt he big'
'i cant hold him, hes too heavy'

oh just sod off!! hes 6m old ffs!

can you not say something about them being small and weedy ladyoftheflowers

bad girl Helenhismadwife

or you could open a whole new can of worms and talk about what you feed your toddler and what they should eat

Sorry to hijack this thread - helenhismadwife - how can I contact you re hideehi? You mentioned you had posted on another thread, but I couldn't find anything else

You'd be surprised how much strength in the arms Oldies have lost. They may well be just commenting on their own ability to hold the baby/toddler. Remember how heavy your toddler felt, every one that's had 2, when compared with newborn baby?

I would only let an oldie hold the baby when sitting down. Don't overestimate their strength and energy. Some oldies are very strong, fit and healthy, but not all.

Americantrish it probably would be safer if every one avoided commenting on the weight of others, of any age, but the person who called your ds heavy may well have had no agenda at all of what weight ds ought to be.
Could you be reading too much into a thoughtless, off the cuff comment?

My inlaws are always calling my 2 year old "solid" - he is very muscular and strong - and he has no real baby fat at all - other mothers think he is slim! But DH was basically what his PARENTS called a "slim" baby (I personally think "scrawny" would better describe the baby photos that I have seen ) He was really thin (too thin!) and sickly, with constant ear infections, allergies, poor eating habits etc. DH and I both know that DS is very healthy, tall and strong so I take inlaws comments with a sense of humour.