To be pissed about this chicken pox parent?

[BenguinsMummy]

So, first family holiday after DS finished treatment for cancer,

All going well, having a fun time, DH and I were sat enjoying tea whilst DS played in the soft play area in the ball pit, then this family arrived, with both children covered in chicken pox!!!!

My face must have registered horror, the mother turned to me and snapped "well, you shouldn't take him out if he's not well!" (DS is still quite bald and requires mobility help so it is still pretty obvious)

Now DS needs to start a course of medication, chicken pox is too much for his system to handle and the moment so soon post treatment... WTF was this woman thinking bringing 2 pox infested children to a children's play area?!?!

AIBU to keep giving her dirty looks and wonder what she was thinking?

Rant over

I am actually at home at the moment with my chickenpox covered 21/2 DD. She's been home from nursery since last Wednesday. I'm not taking her anywhere, it's not fun being in quarantine!! But there is no way I would let her out to infect any other child.

YANBU.. I don't think she can think 3rd child in for possibly incubating however the other 2 should not have been there.

She us every level of wrong

What a cow!!

Some people are ignorant/selfish. Silly cow. Hope your son is ok.

Idiot woman. My daughter has chicken pox and is currently boared out of mind since we are not going out, she feels better but not all spots scabbed or dried out and I am not risking anyone. Gosh knows what I will do about school run if son comes down with it

Pontins-type holiday parks do mention in their terms and conditions that people with infectious/contagious illnesses should not be on the premises, and they reserve the right to ask them to depart. You probably need to go and speak to someone at reception, preferably managerial.

YANBU! What a nasty person and to snap at a parent with a clearly unwell child is just awful.

YABU to restrict yourself to dirty looks. You need to make an official complaint.

I don't blame you at all OP. I had a row with my best friend a couple of years ago...her son was coming down with chickenpox two days before they were due to go to Eurodisney. She fully intended on bringing him on a plane and risking infecting others. I'm glad to say she did listen to me and cancelled the holiday...so unfair otherwise.

YANBU. My DD developed chickenpox on holiday when about 3. Older child (had it already) went to swingparks etc while we lurked at far end of field, at beach we must have looked like worlds most antisocial family as we went miles away from everyone else and retreated even further when we saw a pregnant woman on the horizon. DD understood it wasn't fair to play with other children in case they got it. No excuse for going to a soft play and inexcusable rudeness too!

AIBU to keep giving her dirty looks and wonder what she was thinking
No not all.

I actually think her reaction to you ("well, you shouldn't take him out if he's not well!") is appalling.

If she had asked whether you wanted her kids to leave and meant it then I think she wouldn't have been unreasonable because she didn't know that a child with a compromised immune system was going to be there.

My friend had a stem cell transplant and she spent 30 days in isolation in the hospital and supposedly another 70 days in isolation at home.

It used to drive me mad when we went out and people could see that she had no hair and they didn't bother to cover their mouths when coughing and sneezing.

I hope your DS is doing well now!!

I understand your concern OP, and the lady's response was of course not acceptable, particularly with what you have explained. However for most children, chicken pox is mild and not an issue. In fact it's generally better to catch it younger rather than later, such that immunity is acquired. My eldest daughter never caught it, and I had her vaccinated when she was 15. There used to even be the practice of pox parties in the US, so young children could share it, and become immune.
Some people probably don't think they might just be putting those more vulnerable at risk. My daughter has an immune defect, and it annoys me when parents refuse to let their kids have the flu vaccine at school, for no valid reasons at all. As every year guaranteed, my daughter becomes very ill on the back of flu. There is really no point vaccinating some of the kids but not them all.
Sadly that's how it is, and we just have to accept that the onus is on us to protect our little ones, and not on others to assume. Funnily enough, one year my daughter became ill with a serious blood infection following a spate of strep doing the rounds in school. While she was seriously ill in hospital, I was contacted by a very disgruntled parent whose OH was having chemo at the time, demanding to know how long had I known she was so ill..and how dangerous that was for her OH!! It took all my willpower to send a polite diplomatic reply
Hope your child gets better soon x

YANBU at all OP
I've been on chemo for 8 years (for an autoimmune illness) and i recently had a blood test to check if I had immunity which fortunately I do but still got DD immunised in case! But before I found out I was immune I thought that I had been in contact with someone with chickenpox and was so worried it literally ruined my entire week. Some people are just dangerously ignorant and how very very rude of her to imply your DS had less of a right to be in a play area because he has cancer. That is absolutely shocking I think I might have punched her if that was me

Mumto2two - can your DD not have the flu vaccine herself? It's not live so immunosuppressed people are generally safe (and actually recommended) to have it.
The annoying thing about the chickenpox vaccine is that it is live so immunosuppressed people such as OP's DS would not be able to have it, in this scenario you do rely on others not to expose you to it as you can't vaccinate yourself from it

She was rude and selfish and I would definitely have asked for her to be removed.

Having said that, who knows how many children in a play area might be already be incubating chicken pox but don't yet know they have it? Or anywhere else you take your child?

At least you know that these children definitely had it and are having your child treated accordingly.

Lucy&Poppy yes she does have the flu jab every year, but does not always mount a response to it. As with her other vaccines. She has had the Hib jab three times but still developed Hib disease as the response she mounted was not sufficient. And of course even where healthy people do have the flu vaccine, there are many different strains of flu, I guess it's hard to cover everything.
I just think there is a lot of ignorance out there regarding things like this, people don't always consider the potential more serious impact of spreading minor illnesses like chicken pox.