Crap present for DD from ex husband

[cowshindtail]

AIBU to consider that the present that my ex husband gave our DD for her birthday/s must be a contender for the crappiest ever?He often forgets her birthday and thinks that she is a year younger than she is (she is 23 and he totally forgot her 21st).Yesterday evening he treated her to dinner at a nearby value restaurant (£16 for them both) and handed over her present -a plastic VW badge.He is comfortably off by the way,so not struggling financially.

I get zip because I am on pip and esa so he pays for me through his taxes
What??

Did your father actually say that to you??

It's not about money, but about specialness and thoughtfulness.

I suspect that a bargain dinner and a plastic badge display none of the specialness that make marking birthdays (or xmas etc) well, special.

If the restaurant was one that meant something to the both of them, then the cost is irrelevant. Likewise the vw badge.

But I suspect that's not the case?

If it helps at all, I'm with you on the sadness that comes with seeing the other parent disappoint your child just at the moments where they should be happy.

It feels extra cruel because people of any age are so vulnerable at moments of celebration. It feels even worse than an everyday let down, if their parent can't even get it together just for one day, or one evening.

My stbxh turned up Christmas Day evening (after having promised DS he'd be there in the morning), with a child's tablet. DS went to bed very happy. And woke up on Boxing Day not being able to find the present, which had strangely disappeared, along with his father.

Turns out the sodding bastard took the present back to respond the money on himself. Wanker.

I don't know if DS remembers it. I hope not, but honestly, it's the kind of thing that sticks in your memory somewhat.

What kind of father does that?

Yes he did @persiancatlady

This thread makes me sad.

Jamrock that's terrible!!! What was his rationale behind that?

*It's not about money, but about specialness and thoughtfulness.

I suspect that a bargain dinner and a plastic badge display none of the specialness that make marking birthdays (or xmas etc) well, special.*

Surely by the age of 23 the specialness of marking birthdays should be with your peers, not expecting your parents to make you princess for a day?
Did the OP's daughter complain, or was it only the OP who took offense?

My DH asked for a skateboard for his 8th birthday. His mum went to Argos and asked him to wait outside. She came out with a large rattling bag - 'my skateboard!' DH thought. She made DH carry large bag home on bus. When he unwrapped his present his mum had got an 8 year old wait for it..... a tape organiser! To make things worse he only had 4 tapes!!!

joan That's appalling

A tape organiser! Oh lord that's mean making him wrap it as well. And what's with the tablet stealing dad!? That's really really mean. What was going thru his head!!

To all those saying adult children should expect nothing. I think it's a little sad. I'd like to think when my DC are adults I could still spoilt them with a special treat to let them know they are important to me and marking the anniversary of their birth is sentimental for me and DH too.

My stbxh got our son a plastic boomerang for his 18th birthday (and nothing else as far as I can tell).

My sons last birthday landed on the day he normally sees his dad. He gave him a DVD that had already been watched, it wasn't wrapped, and made him a ham sandwich.

if it makes you feel better - i get a kiss from my mum and dad every year for mr birthday present - I'm 32 now and still do (even though now i live in a different country, they back date their kisses)

Sending to all those MNers with disappointing parents.

Makes me grateful for my own lovely DPs.

Making someone feel special is part of loving someone isn't it? Whatever their age...

I certainly don't think it shows immaturity or some sort of character flaw to want your family to make you feel loved and a bit special once a year?!