Aibu to expect feedback from counsellor

[gotroundtoit]

I've started having some counselling as have been through an avalanche of awful things over the last year. I've had half a dozen sessions so far. I'm not sure exactly what I was expecting, but literally all she does is listen until "times up". How do I get some feedback or help to work through events? Just talking isn't helping that much - I want to try to get my head straight and let go/move on/accept certain things. Has anyone else been to counselling? Is it literally just talking? Any tips for getting some more engagement?

Counsellor here - sounds like your counsellor might not be a good match for you. Or possibly isn't much cop. I'd expect a counsellor to explain how they work at the start, there are many different approaches within counselling, ranging from counsellors who say next to nothing to much more directive, advice giving types. If your counselling isn't working for you, I'd urge you to try another counsellor with a different approach -I recently went for counselling after many years of not having counselling, but found the counsellor wasn't my cup of tea - I felt like you I think, that she wasn't 'doing' enough for me - and that's me as a counsellor by trade having carefully gone for a counsellor who advertised an approach I though would suit me. Rather than trying get this counsellor to give you a different approach, I'd suggest trying another counsellor, there are loads of us and it's a buyers market! Best of luck.

Thanks. It's through my insurance company...it took them three months to find this one. I'll speak to them.

Do you know what approach they're using - e.g. is it person centred? The approach will usually shape the way in which the counsellor responds.

However, if you want something more than what you're getting, and given you've been through awful things, rather than see a counsellor you might find it a lot more worthwhile going to see a clinical or counselling psychologist for therapy - they have had much more training than counsellors, are more equipped to work with more complex issues, and are able to offer different evidence-based therapies. In other words they wouldn't just be doing supportive listening, they would be looking to support you in developing your self understanding, reducing distress, making changes - whatever your goals are. You may have more success in finding a good fit.

I am having counselling at the moment to cope with a nasty split and problems with my children. She is quite directive- almost sets me tasks to do e.g. Getting in touch with certain people that will support me, writing journals etc. It is what I need as my head was like jelly. I agree with pp to try someone else.