To think I don't have a leg to stand on

[IveBeenVeryStupid]

We're separating after 11 years and 2 dc. Not married.

When 'We' bought the house, I was a sahm and with 3 dependents 'd'p couldn't have bought it so he did it alone. I was always getting added on at a later date.

Anyway (you know what's coming) I was never added to the mortgage or deeds. This is despite the fact that I've been back in work for the past year.

So now it's all getting nasty. He said we can stay in the house but he won't put my name on it, obviously I'm not that stupid. He'll be moving away either way so it's not like he wants the house himself.

I was loaned thousands of pounds from a family member for the deposit as well so it's not like I haven't contributed. I'm screwed though aren't I?

No, if your partner isn't working, a mortgage application also classes your adult partner as one of your dependents. OP plus 2 kids = 3

This is why being married gives you automatic rights rather than having to fight tooth and nail. My friend got a mortgage with her ex and she was putting a considerably larger deposit down at the time than he was. She got a solicitors letter stating the amount she was putting down and also had the bank account details of the amount she paid into the house. This was important as when it came to dividing their assests she was protected as she had put much more into the house than her ex and it was divided up according to her larger deposit.

I would try and get any bank statements from your relatives to show that the deposit came from your relative and any bank statements showing your contributions to the house.

When my ex and I split up we rented but everything was in his name and I couldn't be bothered to try and fight for furniture in the household. Had we been married and me being the primary carer of DS I would have been entitled to atleast half of the furniture. I ended up with nothing. Best advice is seek legal advice.

You definitely should be able to get your deposit back - as others have said, get as much proof of payment from your relative as possible. You probably will not get anything else from the house, sorry. You should get child maintenance.

It's shit and the law is definitely due for a change where there are children, but as it stands, marriage is the only thing which would have given you more.

What on earth was the conveyancer doing with regards to anti-money laundering procedures and recording proof of funds?

Two years ago solicitors were all over this stuff and letters confirming gifts to avoid any issues with third parties having an interest were very important.

I disagree with the posts saying because the op wasn't married she gets nothing.

Case law says otherwise.

This comes up again and again and again in MN.
Yet another thread that should be read by all those women who think it's not important to be married to the man whose house you live in.

OP I hope you can get some protection by consulting a solicitor specialising in family law.

We recently bought our family home just in my husband's name. Solicitor recorded the source of the deposit, a gift from DH's father. I'm surprised your ex's solicitor didn't question the source of 'his' deposit if it was a gift from your side of the family yet he was buying in his sole name.

I also signed an occupier's consent form for the mortgage lender witnessed by a different solicitor not involved with the house sale. I think you would also have been required to sign even though not married? I thought that applied to all adults living in the home not on the mortgage including adult children.

When will people stop doing this, and learn not to have kids without some kind of protection incase it all goes tits up? I don't necessarily mean marriage, but the protection of being on the deeds/mortgage, or remaining in work, or having savings/property just in case.

It's not about not trusting your partner, it's about protecting yourself and your kids incase the worst happens (death, basically).

OP, the best you can do at this stage is get legal advice and hope you're protected in some way. Best of luck.