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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that it's really not hard to get a kid to wear their specs?

122 replies

Despairbunny · 06/06/2017 14:34

I work in an opticians & have lost count of the amount of times parents say to me "He/she just won't wear them." Um....tell them to?

I am both a glasses wearer & parent to a kid who wear specs. Dd might not always like wearing her specs, but if I tell her to, she would!

AIBU & judgy? I work with a lot of dc who are on the autistic spectrum or who have a variety of SEN & yet it's never Those Kids who have issues!

OP posts:

heymrtambourineman · 06/06/2017 18:43

Surely it depends on age ? Ds was only 2 when he got his glasses. We spent the first few weeks looking for them because he'd hide them. He wore them after that. I think he realised he could actually see better. At that age it's not a matter of "telling" them

FloofyCat · 06/06/2017 18:47

Do you know, I never understand why people post along the lines of "I work with children and their parents and I judge the fuck out of them" as it just makes them look so unprofessional, as well as a bit of a knob, to be honest.

And while we are on the subject of knobbish behaviour, Miaow, aren't you even slightly embarrassed that you're displaying such a shallow and quite unpleasant attitude? You can "feel sorry" for my DC all you like, with their "hideous" patches etc, but people like you are part of the reason some DC cry and feel self conscious - how on earth can you be proud of that?

My DC have a visible difference (in addition to their "hideous" patches!) and I am so so thankful they're old enough now to feel confident in their own skin and not give two fucks what people like you think of them. And they know that I would truly never ever ever think of them as ugly, or pity them, as I am their parent and never ever feel anything but genuine love when I look at their patches, or their glasses, or their squinty eyes, or anything. Apart from when they don't tidy their rooms then I look at them pityingly sometimes

My DC may be objects of pity for you, but they're actually much nicer people than you will ever be. So keep your pity and your judgements for yourself.

PurpleMinionMummy · 06/06/2017 19:04

Sure yanbu, all kids do exactly what their parents asks/tells them too every single time after all

Itis6oclocksomewhere · 06/06/2017 19:22

This is a situation that I've had to face over the past week.
My eldest DD was prescribed glasses for board work and watching tv.
She's 14 and did not want to wear them!
A few battles have taken place, but she is finally wearing them. She's wearing them at home anyway. At school I have a feeling they never come out of her blazer pocket!
I'm -7 so I fear she's following in my footsteps hence why I have battled with her about wearing them.
As a pp said about different children, DD1 is being a stubborn madam and I've had to stand my ground.
DD2 would grumble for 5 minutes but then just get on with it. DD3 would want every frame available and probably wouldn't take them off!
Every child is different and they change so much over the years. In a year my DD1 might never take them off. Peer groups play a part in all this too I imagine.

lazycrazyhazy · 06/06/2017 19:56

My second DC had glasses from 3. I can't tell you how many were lost. Looked so cute in them (especially with the patch over one eye) but it was hard to keep track of them and we had to have a lot of new ones ... so I do understand why parents may find it hard. My DC wasn't difficult or SEN just scatty.

Funnyfarmer · 06/06/2017 20:03

I still can't get past fashion glasses for six year olds.
Why? It's just an accessory. No different to a pretty head band.

pmppns · 06/06/2017 20:06

My dd (4.5) wears glasses, she has done since 3.5. Each time she gets a new prescription I will let her choose her frames so she wants to wear them. She isn't happy about them somedays but knows that if she wears them now then in the future she may not have to so much. I wear glasses so she's used to seeing them on people.

Flamingoprincess1212 · 06/06/2017 20:54

I got bullied relentlessly at school for about twelve years.
One of the reasons was because of my glasses.
My school did nothing and I was far too scared to tell my mum.
As a result I didn't wear my glasses for seven hours a day five days a week even though I was struggling.
My mum knew I wasn't wearing my specs and she did encourage me to.
But as a kid what do you do? Listen to your mother OR try and avoid having kids tease you every day, dodge people who beat seven shades of shit out of you and burn you with fag ends?

Take your judgey pants off this instant, you don't know why these kids aren't wearing glasses, and perhaps you should use your position as an adult to provide a safe ear for finding out why kids aren't wearing glasses (they might hurt their noses or ears, they might give the kid headache, they might fall off, the kid might be being bullied, the heights or prescription might be wrong causing seasickness like symptoms), who knows what's wrong with the children.
You've got the power to help this kid see better and instead you're on mumsnet chastising people and being unprofessional

What if it was your child not taking medicine, deliberately forgetting PE kit, wearing the wrong shoes for school or not wearing a hearing aid for example. The kid normally has a reason, and it just needs sorting out.

Hth

Flamingoprincess1212 · 06/06/2017 20:57

I also second childhood scattiness
How many times do children lose things
16843883 each day.

Lj8893 · 06/06/2017 20:58

unborn thankyou, she's had a course of them before and she was absolutely fine with them. Yet because she wouldn't comply at check ups there was no way to determine if they were helping at all so we had to stop them.

Last week she complied fully at a check up for the first time ever!! So we decided to give the drops another go in the hope she will continue complying at appointments!

Rockhopper81 · 06/06/2017 21:18

FloofyCat - I'm sure your children are rocking those eye patches and glasses!

I too don't understand why you're openly saying you don't care if people judge you Miaow, but you're being so ruthless in your judgement of others. You might not like the patches, but your child will most likely pick up on your attitude and it won't help their feelings towards their eye care.

Plus, if you are seriously so judgemental about them now, wouldn't you rather your child wore patches for a while now and possibly didn't have to wear glasses later? Seems like it's something that would be important to you.

lalalalyra · 06/06/2017 21:29

Both my 14yo girls wear glasses. One loved her glasses and has worn them religiously since she was 3 without a problem. She even has prescription goggles for swimming.

One hated them so much she once tried to chest on an eye test (went second after her sister and memorised the letters). She still hates them. I don't believe she wears them half as much as she should, but I've tried everything from pleading to punishing. She broke so many pairs from carelessness and leaving them sat about that we were on first name terms with the staff in the opticians for a while. She just absolutely hates them. She's desperate to turn 15 and get contacts.

imjessie · 06/06/2017 21:29

I'll be honest , I cried my eyes out when they told me my baby had to wear glasses full time forever . Little did we know he had pretty severe sn and that's the least of our worries ..

Lelloteddy · 06/06/2017 22:41

Wisely you told Miaow you understood how she felt about her child's eye patch being hideous.

And yes the point is that children DO get teased horrifically for wearing glasses. Because people like you teach your kids that glasses are ugly. And please don't insult my intelligence by claiming that you hide your negative feelings from your kids.

Nordicwannabe · 07/06/2017 05:00

imjessie
I actually think it's pretty normal that we worry/are sad about things within our current context.

MacarenaFerreiro · 07/06/2017 09:08

I think it's normal to be upset your child has to wear glasses. I was upset when I was told my 4 year old needed them, mainly because I was thinking back to when my sister had to wear them at the same age and her choice of frames was pink or blue and they were AWFUL. Things have moved on so much and through the years we've had Barbie, Hannah Montana and Pineapple frames, along with loads of others. They really are so much better now.

lazycrazyhazy · 07/06/2017 09:55

As I said before one of my DD wore glasses with a patch from age 3-8 though she lost them a lot. As an adult she needs them only for driving and doesn't have a visible squint.

Another DC was found to be very short sighted aged 7 and has worn glasses or contacts ever since and another was diagnosed short sighted at 11 and also worn ever since.

DH short sight gene is strong! None of our children has ever been bullied about wearing glasses! There were always several children at school also in them. From 13 they got contacts though they don't all use them all the time. Disposable contacts are best with the astigmatism they all have. They also had prescription swimming goggles which are brilliant.

Like a PP we let them choose their frames and it was fun. It must be down to attitudes as we never saw it as a failing. My milky bar kid DD with her patch at 3 looked adorable!

TheMonkeyAndThePlywoodViolin · 07/06/2017 11:20

yes we worry about things within our current context.

but then when informed about people in a much worse state to tell them to "get over themselves" is really shitty,

RhodaBorrocks · 07/06/2017 11:30

My DS loves his glasses! He begged to get a pair before he needed them and kept inventing eye problems so I'd take him to be checked.

In the end school backed him up that he was struggling to see the board and finally he did need a pair. He loves them, takes great care of them and opts to wear them in school photos.

If anything I have to force him to take them off when they're not needed. Everyone else in the family (except XP who he doesn't see) wears glasses (and my sight is so bad I'm legally blind in one eye without my specs!) so I think he just sees it as another way of fitting in.

CrazedZombie · 07/06/2017 11:36

How old are these children?
I wear glasses as I'm very short sighted.
My teen son wouldn't wear glasses for vanity reasons.
My teen daughter wears them as she understands the benefits.
My younger son wears them when he remembers (only needs them for board work) but wouldn't wear them to do physical activity because they would slow him down.

MyfanwyMontez · 07/06/2017 11:54

I was a little upset when I was told my DS would need glasses. I was told this when he was very small. He has never had an issue with wearing them - he started wearing them in reception. The teacher was amazed how much it improved his work and he was just happy he could see properly.
His sight is pretty bad and he will be a life long specs wearer.
We tried patching - he hated it! The ophthalmologist gave me a fabric patch that slipped over the lens which helped and he only had to wear for a few hours a day ( after school).

GhostsToMonsoon · 07/06/2017 12:08

I first needed glasses at 7 and cried for days. Then I refused to wear them and only did so when absolutely necessary e.g. for seeing the blackboard or TV. (I once went to the cinema without them and couldn't see anything).

I still hate glasses so have lenses now.

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