Threatening court despite being offered access?!

[roostastyle]

The father of my toddler is threatening to apply for joint custody because I have put a child maintenance claim in. He and I have no relationship, were not in a relationship and he has only met the child 3 times. He insisted on a DNA test saying he didn't believe the child was his. Results show the child is his. I've offered access since the child was born which he has turned down all but 3 times, the last of which he said he didn't want to see either of us again hmm. I've struggled financially as long as I could then put in a claim for child maintenance after he ignored my messages asking for financial help. Since then he has been threatening to seek joint custody. He's single, works full time and lives down south. We are in the north. His name isnt on the birth certificate.

Am I right in thinking the most he would be awarded in court is contact centre visits? He's basically a stranger to the child who is under 2. I'd rather he comes to our house to see the child to build a proper relationship. He has shown no interest in the child until the maintenance claim and threatened to seek joint custody as a way to scare me off claiming. His ex girlfriend has also been sending me threatening emails saying they are going to get married and seek joint custody.

I don't want to argue or go to court, I just need him to contribute financially and come to see the child at our home while she is very small. Once a solid relationship has been built we can discuss access at his home, but it would take time for a relationship to form and he would need to prove he has a genuine interest in being the child's father not just playing tit for tat because of the maintenance claim. It seems he is only threatening court trying to scare me from continuing with the maintenance claim, which is a pretty low thing to do.

Anyone know how a judge might see his behaviour given that I'm (still) offering access and he is ignoring me and threatening court? AIBU to want the relationship building to happen at our home since the child is so young and doesn't know him? X

Cases like the one you describe and the way some famous people have used lawyers make me wish there could be some kind of offence of legal bullying/harrassment.

Legal bullying?

Don't send what Fizzy says - being deliberately obtuse and passive aggressive in correspondence won't do you any favours with the court (not that it'll come to it, in all likelihood).

Just carry on being reasonable and pleasant and let him dig his own hole.

Didn't want to read and run - I've an a*wipe who has (is) taking me to court for the THIRD time. Let's say, so far, the magistrate (etc) haven't taken this nicely for him.

I simply stated my opinion this time and they weren't impressed. The Section 7 report that CAFCASS are doing will focus entirely on him and his ability/home, etc. I've proved myself since the child was born - He hasn't! (My child is 4).

So, read it again, I've been taken to court when my child was a few months old (that time our FINAL ORDER was up to two hours fortnightly in a supported Contact Centre), when my child was two years old (the FINAL ORDER gave him Parental Responsibility and up to FOUR hours a fortnight in the community) - This time he thinks he will get overnights and I've been told that is highly unlikely. For me, it's about my little child and what that my child needs.

www.childlawadviceline.org.uk (check link) - they have plenty of great resources and their phone line is helpful to clarify things in your head! They have legal advisers to talk you through the stuff and the implications.

I wouldn't risk Family Court without a solicitor - too many do and you end up wasting time. My ex (who I never lived with incidentally!) doesn't have one and before the first hearing NOTHING can ever be sorted bc he won't let it and only does ONCE the magistrate has told he has no choice but to work with my solicitor. It also means that you know everything is sorted out better for the child AND YOU!

childlawadvice.org.uk/ is the correct link - Sorry

Id just reply that I would see him in court then.