To think that being content in your own skin doesn't make you full if yourself?

[NancyCarolinesHeadtorch]

To be clear: I am no supermodel. Im.a size 14, sometimes a 16. I have ridiculously huge boobs, chunky thighs and a bit of a lower belly which comes and goes.

But. I genuinely don't give a fuck what anyone else thinks.

I used to be horribly insecure. I hated myself. I gave myself bulimia. I've yo yo dieter about 3stone on and off over the past 8 years. But ever since I turned 30 I've been much happier. Yes I'd like to be thinner but to be fair, if I really cared that much I'd focus and get the weight off. But i acknowledge that size isn't everything. I'm healthy, I'm relatively fit, I do a fairly physical job in which I can happily run up a few flights of stairs carrying heavy equipment. And I can see now that I am fairly attractive in my own way. In short, I'm comfortable with myself and I really don't care what anyone I don't know thinks.

Today I was on a beach. Lost 10lb for this holiday and feeling great. At the bar, a woman told me I was 'brave' to wear a bikini. I asked what she meant and she said she'd never dream of wearing one as she is not a size 10. I said I'm not brave, I'm just ok with how I look and I prefer the style of a bikini. She kind of raised her eyebrows, looked me up and down and said 'well, aren't you full of yourself when you shouldn't be' and stalked off.

I was a bit

Is this a thing? Should I go back to hating myself for not being skinny?

I'd love to be slimmer but my weight doesn't define me. I'm happy in my own skin, would just like to be slimmer for health reasons and because it does look better. But so what really, I'm me, however much I weigh and people either like me or they don't. I want to be slimmer to please me, not other people, although dh would benefit by default

We are not up ourselves. We should be proud of ourselves to be able to largely ignore societal pressure. What's she got to proud about?

yanbu.

The woman has issues and is taking them out on you because she hasn't the confidence to wear a bikini.

I am a size 16 and nothing stops me going to the beach even if I have to wear an all in one swimsuit.

I totally agree that being comfortable in your own skin doesn't make you full of yourself but rather accepting the fact that this is you, extra pounds as well and you are here once so may as well embrace life.

Genuinely lolling at some of these comments. Me and my size 16 bikini are heading to the beach right now!

She is deflecting her own insecurities onto you. I wear a bikini at size 12/14, it's never occurred to me not to?! Enjoy the rest of your holiday! ☀️🍹

"At the bar, a woman told me I was 'brave' to wear a bikini. I asked what she meant and she said she'd never dream of wearing one as she is not a size 10. I said I'm not brave, I'm just ok with how I look and I prefer the style of a bikini. She kind of raised her eyebrows, looked me up and down and said 'well, aren't you full of yourself when you shouldn't be' and stalked off."
I suspect when she said she wouldn't dream of wearing one, she was prompting you to gushingly say of course you should, you look fantastic, yadda yadda yadda. Probably a queen bee who is missing her sycophantic coterie from back home.

Ignore, ignore, ignore. Or point and laugh!

That comment says more about her than it does about you.

I would love to be as comfortable in my own skin as you are in yours.

What a complete cow! No YANBU to assume that being happy with yourself and comfortable in your own skin doesn't mean that you're full of yourself.

She was rude to comment on your "bravery" and even ruder when she made that comment about you being full of yourself. She sounds miserable and insecure...very attractive traits in a person 🤔

If more people were confident in themselves and spent less time worrying about what other people were doing the world would be a much nicer place.

She was a bitch Op, don't worry about her stupid comment, I agree with others who've said it says more about her own body issues then it goes about your body. Enjoy your bikini and enjoy your holiday!

I find a head tilt, a sad little smile and something along the lines of "how awful for you - no diagnosis yet ?" works quite well.

Experienced the same last year in the States (oh the irony) only she also mentioned my age - along the lines of "Should someone your shape and age be wearing a bikini ? I responded as above, turned and walked away. Luckily the OH was close by and promptly gave my cellulite wobbly bum as very affectionate squeeze !

Well done you, OP. YANBU at all.

I'm a curvy size 14/16 and a naturist, and have had people comment on how brave I am to be willing to go to the beach naked, but the truth is, I look better than if I'm squished in a swimsuit! As for body confidence, I say that I'm body comfortable, rather than confident. I don't want to be the centre of attention (so wouldn't go naked in the middle of town, for example) but am comfortable in my skin, and if you don't want to look at me, don't look.

Hope you enjoy your day at the beach.

Oh my word op, what a horrible woman! If you see her again, just laugh! I think the poster had it right who said she was probably fishing for compliments.

I'm the same size as you OP but I'm getting on a bit - 57. And I'm just back from a week in the sun where I was perfectly happy to get my bikini on every day and not to give 2 flying fucks what anyone else thought about my jiggly bits and my less than taut toned skin. This is one situation where YOLO is the only way to look at it. You only live once, might as well make the best of it! I feel (a v tiny bit) sorry for her, imagine what it's like inside her head!

As for hating yourself for not being skinny - absolutely not -
love yourself for reaching the point in your life where you have the confidence to wear what you want and to not give a shit. Have a great holiday.