To feel disheartened re potty training

[BuzzBuzzBuzzLightyear]

DD is 2.5. Bright, funny, clever etc. Nursery three days per week, suddenly doesn't want to wear nappies any more. I think she sees the other girls in her room using the potty/toilet and wants to be like them. Fab.

Bought her a potty a few weeks ago and had a day without nappy, but she was more interested in putting her toys in it than much else. Or peeing next to it. It's like she would be playing away with no nappy on, pee on the floor, and look surprised. We didn't react, just cleaned it up. No progress made and she asked for her nappy to go back on.

My friend suggested we go straight to the toilet (with one of those padded seat things) as she found her two daughters had much more success with those. We bought her a Peppa seat and a little step so she could climb up herself. She sat on the toilet for ages, delighted, but nothing happened. At my mums suggestion I put her in pants for the first time.

All afternoon "I need a wee wee" - half an hour on the toilet with nothing happening, then getting off and peeing on the floor and getting upset. I just didn't react, said it didn't matter each time and cleaned it up.

Then she poos in her pants. As soon as she started (could tell by her face) I went to lift her on to the toilet but she refused, seemed scared, so all I could do was clean up the mess.

Ok fine she's not ready but what do I do now?! She totally mentally understands what she's meant to do. It's like she is scared to go when it comes down to it. I dunno why, we have been utterly calm about it

I think you should try the potty for more than a day. My ds-2 was the same would be desperate for a wee but wouldn't actually go. We stuck to it 3 days later didn't even ask him if he needed a wee just looked up and there he was having a wee. Took two more days with poos now he hates having nappies on.

Also I was like yourself ad I knew he understood but just something was holding him back but if you think about it from there eyes there only young never do e it before and lives there lives in a nappy. It takes time don't be disheartened x

We have tried for a couple of hours here and there following that day but she's just not doing it. You make a good point though, I think we need a block of time to just go for it.

absolutely right not to make a big fuss. Talk to your HV.... they've seen this over and over.

It will be fine. Promise!

Bless her. It's still very early days, so don't be disheartened. She's still learning about bladder control, and a fear of using the toilet/potty for poos is completely normal.
I started potty training my DS, also 2.5, last week. First few days we had moments of him siting on the potty for up to an hour! As soon as we got that first wee, it all paid off, and he is using the potty for all wee's and poo's now. 100% making a big fuss works great too. He had accidents (wee's), for the first two days, but every child is different. Some take longer, some are quicker.
I always say to give it 3 days, and you'll know for sure whether or not your child is ready (I'm childcare trained, and have potty trained lots of toddlers).
Also a little tip - we have a 'potty shelf' in the bathroom. It's at level with the potty, and has books and various toys that he only gets when he's on the potty. It keeps him entertained, for times when it takes a little longer to wee/poo, and makes it a little less boring.
I also set a timer to start with as a reminder for DS (and myself), to get into the routine of trying often. We started at 15 minutes, and he can now hold it for 90 minutes.
Completely go cold turkey with nappies, apart from naps and bedtime. Take your DD shopping to buy special knickers, with her favourite characters on.

Good luck!

I stayed in for about a week altogether he was ok after 2/3 days but just wanted to give him chance to get to grips with it. Left him butt naked wouldnt put a nappy on whrn he brought me one and preety much just left it in the room didn't make a big deal. When he had an accident just said oh oh cheekily well try the potty next time sort of thing

She's not ready. Put her in pull ups and have the potty/toilet available and wait until she's actually ready.

It's not about being clever, it's about muscle development.

You have to dedicate a couple of days initially, I'm afraid, and make to decision to stick to pants.

What worked for us for to literally park them on the loo (and I used a seat on the loo rather than faff on with a potty) every 10-15 minutes. Even if they've just pee'd on the floor. Park them, like clock work, for a couple of minutes not just 30seconds. Eventually they'll pee (probably by luck) and then make a massive deal if it - lots of clapping, etc. After the first day or so, you'll be able to stretch out the intervals. Then it (hopefully) just gradually clicks into place. Smarties or something also work (one for a wee, two for a poo) but you have to wean them off it eventually

What i did last week (with 2.11 year old DS) was have an afternoon of watching tv, drinking loads and making him sit on the potty between each show. Once he had managed a couple of wees on the potty he was away, and by the next day afternoon he was sitting on just when he needed to go rather than at timed intervals. He still asks me 'how to make wee come out?' each time he needs to go, and has small accidents when he cant hold it on the way to the potty. I think learning which muscles to contract and release and when, plus what needing a wee feels like, is hard (which is why I plied DS with drinks last week so he had lots of practice!)

It is early days and it often takes quite a lot of persistence.

Having said that DD2 had a rather small bum and found it hard to balance and had a huge fear of sliding down into the toilet and even into the larger potty that DD1 had used.

We found that a low potty with a backrest that she could get in and out of herself without needing to be lifted sorted out many of the problems - it was similar to the picture:

So have you only done two proper days - one with the potty and one with the toilet? If so, then I wouldn't be giving up yet. You need to just pick a day when you can dedicate 3 to 4 days to it and just stay around the house as much as you can. There will be wee on the floor but if she's ready, she'll get it within a few days. If she's not, just give up and try again. But I think you either need to be all in or all out.

She's also quite young so you may need to try again in a few months.

That sounds like when I started trying to potty train my son. After three days and still lots of accidents (I found I could avoid accidents if I put him on the potty myself every 15 minutes but we were both getting bored of that and I didn't want to put him of the potty) I could probably have carried on and stayed inside for a week till he got the hang of it but to be honest couldn't be bothered so we went back to nappies. I did leave the potty out in the bathroom so he could use it if he wanted (and got lots of praise when he did). I tried again a few months later and literally within 2 days he'd got the hang of it. So leaving it a bit longer might not hurt...

At 2.5 she is quite young still - my ds was 2.9 months and dds were both the same at 2.10. However you do need to dedicate 3/4 days really and hopefully success. I used a potty and had a portapotty when out and about - was so useful! My ds was also dry at night, dd1 not dry at night until 3.6 and dd2 was 6.5 before she was dry at night! Perhaps leave it another few months and have another try. Good Luck

When she's on the potty or loo trying for a wee run the tap next to her. It does wonders to get the flow going and once she is used to the feeling of sitting down and seeing it will become the new normal. She's been weeing standing up for a long time, she just needs to get used to a different position.

And lots of praise when it does happen.

I started my son when he was 18 months, I sat him on the toilet every night whilst his bath was running sometimes he had a wee and others he didn't but I wasn't really bother at that age I just wanted him to get use to the toilet. We got one of those seats that have a built in toilet seat so it looked like a grown up seat like how mammy and daddy wee. He is now 2 half and been nappy free for 2 months after accidents. I must have ask him every ten mins if he needs to go just to keep it in his head

My daughter did this, she knew when she needed a wee and would sit on the potty for ages, not do anything then stand up and pee next to it, sent me crazy along with the amount of knickers we were going through. Then one day she just got it, peed in the potty, got praised and got a sticker and we haven't looked back since! Nursery helped a lot and gave me tips and it took a fair few weeks of finding puddles everywhere! Just keep at it, get some stickers to reward her and make a chart together and explain after so many wee wees she gets a present, we just went to the pound shop and bought a load of tat but she loved it! X

Ask her what she wants. She may tell you she wants to keep nappies on and try in a while; she might say she wants to wear big girl pant ( let her pick a pattern / character she likes; she might want to do pee pees in the potty or big toilet (most want a little step to rest their feet on to make them feel secure) Try the Princess Polly potty book. We bought a potty and read the book for months and didn't suggest she used it. She some big girl pants in Mothercare with Peppa Pig on them, asked for them and it started that way.

• she saw some big girl pants

I'd go bottomless for at least a day at home and then no pants once ages had a day or so of getting used to moving to the toilet/potty to wee. You might have to start by moving her mid-wee but watch for the sign that she's about to wee.

Pants can give them the feeling of security like a nappy so can become quite confusing. So go cold turkey on nappies (nap/bedtime only) then commando after a day or so with no bottoms. Then introduce underwear in 3-4 weeks.

Summer before last we just kept DS with no nappy and no pants on in the house and bought him a Thomas potty that played the Thomas theme tune if he did a wee in it. And we gave him Thomas stickers as well if he used it.

It was ages before he'd use a toilet when out though - almost a year.

If you ditch the nappies cold turkey, what happens when you're out and about? Or do you need to just stay at home!

Depends what you're doing but either take a potty or a travel toilet seat (potette thing).

We stayed at home for a day and then started going out, close to home at first (walk, bike ride) then went to familiar places for a couple of days (playgroups, classes). Get a good wee before you go and then plan a wee somewhere if you're going to be out for a little while.

Honestly - once they are ready (and that can be a good while after they understand the concept) then it can happen in just a few days but for those few days it really is best just to stay close to home, focus on them completely and then once you do venture out take a travel potty and a change of clothes.

Day one potty training dd was hell. Not a single successful use of the potty, despite her sitting on it about a million times. I was ready to throw in the towel through sheer frustration and I'm no quitter usually!

By day three she'd cracked it and we did several hours out and about on day five (or maybe day six) and she was great. Haven't looked back since. Stick with it!