Oooh you pedants are going to love this!

[Smitff]

www.theguardian.com/science/2017/jun/05/the-35-words-youre-probably-getting-wrong

I have noticed an increase in the incorrect use of the word myself.
It gives me the rage.

Such as:
Myself and Joe will be there.
or
Just give the feedback to myself.

I'm from Edinburgh but have worked in Fife. In the, er, criminal justice system.
One particularly memorable, er, client told me:
"They're saying I jamp on ma brere's heid"
(They're saying I jumped on my brother's head)

Another Fife Special is the truly awful:
"Ah'm gonnae kick yer cunt in."

No one mentioned "masterbate"?

Many people - even here ha - say "Recommend me a...".

Sugh

Sigh sigh sigh

What's wrong with simply saying fried and deep fried?

Gives me the rage is preset bad, too.

Argh

...pretty bad

Of course I live in South Wales so
"Where to is it?"
"Over by there"
Is a common occurance. But I enjoy that one (and find myself saying it much to the annoyance of my dad).

"Will I do this?" Also irritates him and is another one I use

Discreet and discrete.

brought instead of bought!

I prefer my skate wings fried in a bucket personally.

Today 20:45 Euphemia

I was at a talk on Saturday where the (Scottish) presenter had the word "practicing" on nearly all of her slides.

I had a twitch like Clouseau's boss by the end of it.

I know the difference. What's has her nationality got up do with it?

(Americans do not differentiate, by the way.)

What has...

My phone is going to die.

The one that confuses me is artefact and artifact, I have had to double check that a few times but I am a terrible speller and easily confused.

Optionrationale:
Sing sung sang
fling flung flang
Surely?

I raise you "Bring, brung, brang".

'Dove' as a past tense of 'to dive' is standard American English.

harderandharder2breathe you see I love that. Makes me think of my grandma who was from South Wales. She said 'by here' a lot and it's lovely. Just a regional thing and not, strictly speaking, incorrect I guess (hope!).

But then 'jamp' - is that regional too? I don't like it! Can we pick and choose like this?

Euphemia I literally laughed at loud at your picture and description of the practicing PowerPoints.
No infer/ imply. That gets me twitchy.

I've started noticing a lot of 'I done' and 'we seen' on here, and I've even seen 'he's went'

Ambivalent and enormity are rarely used correctly.

Also hone vs home

"can you" instead of "will you" (usually elicits response from me along the lines of, "yes, I am able to, would you like me to....."?

Yep, decimate is one that really bothers me!
Yes, my colleagues frequently say things like, 'my class was decimated by that Geography field trip' I always think, 'what, three of them were missing?'
Effect and Affect. The misuse of effect actually makes me chuckle sometimes, particularly when children are effected by things.

Led
I led the baby down in his cot
I led down as I was feeling faint.