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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To tell my mum to butt out?

6 replies

Tweettwo · 05/06/2017 17:33

I am an only child and my have two young children. My mum comes up once a week to look after them for one day while I work (nanny covers other 3 days). My mum has no other family in the UK. She constantly criticises everything about me and our family: house messy (not usually that bad), garden messy, kids not doing enough writing, not disciplining / smacking kids, just what feels like a relentless barrage of negativity and chipiness. Constantly trying to make me feel like a shit parent. I genuinely feel like we do a decent job of bringing up our children and are doing our best (we both also have demanding careers too to manage).

It feels like she is constantly trying to think of something to criticise. Also around money matters, such as if I get a builder to do something she will criticise his work and the prices he is charging. She complains about the cost of everything and makes snide comments about us going away on holiday, saying it is a waste of money while the kids are so young. I feel like she is in some way trying to exploit her position of 'power' of helping us out one day a week to justify an unacceptable level of interference in our lives. As a fully grown adult, completely financially independent, I don't see why I should have to put up with this. I think I'm going to try to find alternative childcare arrangements for the day she does.

AIBU to feel like this? It's getting me down!

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 05/06/2017 17:35

I think she definitely needs to be warned that if she carries on like that you won't let her look after the children any more.

DeanKoontz · 05/06/2017 17:36

Yanbu. Make alternative childcare arrangements. I couldn't put up with that.

Dixiechickonhols · 05/06/2017 17:44

Have nanny 4 days and see her on your terms. It sounds so draining.

Notalotterywinner · 05/06/2017 17:45

Tell her how you feel, I think that she needs to learn boundaries.

The80sweregreat · 05/06/2017 17:46

Blimey, she isnt my mil is she?
Best to sort out alternative childcare. It will only get worse.

Tweettwo · 06/06/2017 21:21

Thanks to you all. Definitely food for thought! X

OP posts:
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