If I go for Asperger's assessment....

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I've always had some problems in the workplace (Same job but different places )
Mainly with people junior to me making mistakes, needing prompted to do things etc and situations have sometimes lead to some conflict
I've been wondering over the last year if I have Asperger's as I do have some of the traits / symptoms
Nobody else in equivalent positions seems to struggle with it so much / have so many problems.
In social situations I do not have any problems but apart from that a lot of the Aspergers traits/ symptoms seem to ring true with me.
I was also wondering- if I pay privately and was diagnosed, can I keep this information to myself or am I obliged to disclose it ?
In reality, I probably would disclose it ,say to family at first , but could I keep it confidential if I wanted ? Thanks

My sons have both been diagnosed and have extremely active imaginations Looneytune - the difference is that they don't do social imagination. They find it very difficult putting themselves in someone else's place, so while they can play games involving baby dragons and knights, for instance, they would find playing Mummies and Daddies very difficult. because they've never been able to picture themselves as either.

To dispel the popular but totally wrong but so often quoted idea that autism is a linear spectrum with mild at one end and severe at the other,
the-art-of-autism.com/understanding-the-spectrum-a-comic-strip-explanation/

I was diagnosed a couple of weeks ago.

I have to admit, you don't struggle socially, then I'm not sure how far you would get. The fact I struggle socially was a huge basis for my diagnosis. I thought this was the main basis for aspergers? Also aspergers a op said, why is it only people who are inferior? I get frustrated with anyone who doesn't understand something that I do, no matter who they are.

I started by doing the AQ test online (this is the onew the professionals use). I score quite highly which is when I first started to seriously wonder. Then I've done various online tests and I score high every time. I still expected them to tell me I was kidding myself and I am just the way I and, but no, I did actually receive a diagnosis.

You don't have to disclose anything to an employer. It's personal medical information so they don't have an automatic right to be told. I have read that a private diagnosis isn't always accepted for your records, don't know if this is true. I also wouldn't assume it will help people understand you. I'm not telling my family at all also and I've only told 2 friends, one of which is understanding but still says that we all mask and I do really well socially as I go out and stuff (we have 1 or 2 nights out a year), but she doesn't see how hard it is for me or the angst I go through to achieve this or that fact that I do it when I organise it because then I can be in control of it. I'm not expecting people to be understanding at all which is why I'm not sharing it with many people. I think it's more likely I'd bet the " but you seem fine?" reaction and I don't want to have to explain myself.

I understand how getting a diagnosis will make things "clearer" for you. I guess in a way it's somewhat like having an undiagnosed headache for years and finally having the doctor put a proper name to what you're experiencing.

I completely disagree with the notion that telling someone about your diagnosis will make people understand you better though. I used to work in a biglaw firm only about a year and a half ago, and casually amongst colleagues ASD was still commonly used as a joke whenever someone committed a faux pas or when they were generally perceived as being an arse.

Sure, you might meet/know people who are more empathetic. However, I'd be cautious about thinking that was the norm.

Personally I don't disclose to everyone , but I do make my managers aware and discuss how it impacts me.

This means that when they've been passing work on they're able to adjust their approach, that I can ask for advice on how to handle situations and also that any feedback they get on me - from other people - is viewed with my aspergers in mind

To be honest I've tried the online test , and I was just 2 points below the Asperger category , which put me in the borderline area but I would probably like to talk in person to a professional To someone who asked why it is junior staff , it is partly because it is them that I have contact with daily rather than senior staff . As I said upthread I don't have problems making friends or socially which would suggest that I don't have Aspergers but so many of the other things ring true , such as the aspects of routine , noticing small detail , struggling with change and even the points in the questionnaire about remembering dates of birth ,noticing car number plates etc . I think I may go privately for an assessment. As I've got older I've struggled more , so hopefully it would help explain certain struggles to me if I was diagnosed

I've always suspected I am - many of my friends and family do and I am about to re-attempt a referral - the first one went nowhere but then I didn't push it.
I am currently in a redundancy position and I am wondering if my difficulties in getting past the interview stage could be that I genuinely misinterpret questions that NT people can get first time.

Having been in my current employment for 9 years + it's been a relatively 'safe place' - I want to be able to put a diagnosis on a job application form.

I also wonder if I am entering the fringes of the perimenopause and I am mindful that data on adult Aspie women is almost non-existant.

So yes - I think it is worth it - Asperger's wasn't even catergorized until I was 11!

Ds and dn have been diagnosed and the chap who gave us ds's diagnosis (well, actually he went on for 10 minutes about autism before I asked him if this meant he was diagnosing ds...) said that in his case, it was "obvious he's inherited it from both parents", which wasn't a surprise to us but could have been to many parents! I've been referred for diagnosis as it may explain many of the mental health problems I've had over the years and why certain therapy has been totally useless and others pretty helpful.

Thinking of myself and MrNC as both having autistic traits but different parts of the spectrum has been helpful for our relationship and also for understanding our parents better. I've also got hypermobility and various other conditions that often correlate with ASD and which can get worse in 40s and at menopause, so more information would be helpful.

I don't have problems socially - but people I get on with well as acquaintances don't generally want to become closer friends (happy to see me at coffee mornings or down the pub; dont invite me to their house kind of thing), and people I do make friends with almost invariably end up with themselves or their children getting an ASD diagnosis (so I know about 80-100 diagnosed people).

Also conscious that I'm not getting past interviews and have failed recruitment tests in the past for not interpreting questions normally (eg Would you do X in this situation: very likely, likely, neither likely nor unlikely, unlikely, very unlikely - the test is skewed so if you generally tick likely or unlikely, with a few rare extremes, you fail, despite having seen lots of different possibilities and potential reasons why 'very' might not be appropriate. It's biased towards people who tick extreme answers most of the time.)

I've been persuing similar but for dyspraxia, and as an adult I've hit a bit of a dead end. I was refered to neurology initially and they said (after a CT scan) that its not their area, but pyschology didn't want to see me, and basically in our area there are no resources to diagnose an dult learning disability. I'm supposed to be getting a letter from the consultant to say I 'have symptoms which suggest' dyspraxia, but no formal diagnosis

The analogy of the persistant headache is a good one, I just feel like I've been dismissed as lazy/stupid/not trying hard enough all my life, and I'd like to think there's more to me than that

Thing is I work in STEM, which you'd think is a relatively 'safe' environment, but jobseeking has brought it home to me that it certainly isn't and recruitment sure as shit isn't!

I think I over-estimate people's understanding, particularly if they are well educated otherwise - it makes me wonder if I did disclose it to recruiters, would I actually be shooting myself in the foot.

I am also overthinking things but I really don't want a job where there a LOT of interaction all the time with people is expected (i.e multiple meetings a week - I'm ok with 1 or 2 a week) or hot desking. I would really HATE hot-desking as I'd never feel focused or settled.

NC At least I'm not alone in this boat - my DS1 recently got a diagnosis of ASD too. I have some suspicions about my DH but I suspect he's found it easier as a man who's also working in STEM.

I work in STEM too - my currently job is probably the most stereotypically techy and I think a significant proportion of my office are probably on the spectrum tbh. Lots of very noticeable behaviours...and very few women!

I'm an Employment Support Worker, specifically for people with Autism/Asperger's.

You don't have to tell anyone, including your employer but you wouldn't be covered by the DDA. So say for example you came across as rude but didn't mean to and it went to disciplinary, you can't say your employer discriminated against you because they weren't more lenient due to your condition.

A diagnosis is useful as it means you can get support to overcome your difficulties e.g. having information explained more thoroughly and/or always been given it in a written format, being given more time to complete certain things, having clearer schedules to help you plan, prioritise and stay focused.

The vast majority of my service users are people who have been diagnosed later in life and it has really helped them

Thanks Kindle ,that's great information and helps my situation/decision

It's also allowed me to get certain allowances - things like working from home sometimes, wearing headphones (my old boss hated this normally but it's good if you're having a sensory overload day)...

It also means that at least my boss knows why I sometimes dodge or duck out of the awkward office networking events (my idea of hell)

Oh and also to anyone with a diagnosis who is job hunting - you can request to be given the interview questions beforehand as a reasonable adjustment. 10-15 minutes can make a real difference in allowing you to process the questions and interpret them properly to level the playing field

My diagnosis meant getting adjustments at work that meant I could keep working amidst enormous organisational changes, though I've left now to pursue other things. It gives me protection under the Equality Act (not the DDA, that went yonks ago).

Diagnosis has been a life changer for me in so many ways.

Whether you get assessed privately or through the NHS, the criteria for diagnosis is the same, and a private assessment should be as rigorous as NHS (sometimes more so, in fact).

I've posted this before and I'm going to re-post here because I think it's important.

I just want to make a few points which might be worth considering for those of you who think you might be autistic but don't think you'll pursue assessment:

• there's emerging evidence that autistic women experience menopause differently

• autistic people can react in unusual ways to medications and treatments, as we age this might become more relevant

• think about care needs as you age, particularly post retirement, whilst you might be doing fine now think about how an autism diagnosis might help with getting the best care and support. More so if you are heavily reliant on partners/family/friends for support.

• there's not enough research about autism and dementia yet, and IIRC autism may be a protective factor against dementia, but think about how if you were being assessed your autism might mask or exacerbate other symptoms and signs.

• with a diagnosis you have a legal right to reasonable adjustments, again, think about how this might be helpful later on, even if you don't need them now.

I forgot Polter that England uses Equality Act - here we still use the DDA

I didn't know the DDA was still in place at all Kindle, where are you?

My ex's diagnosis could have made a huge difference to the outcome of our relationship.
We only realised when DC were diagnosed, by which time we'd been through a horribly acrimonious separation and married other people.
You can't go back, but had we known at the time we could have got support. We may or may not have gone the distance - it's impossible to say - but I would have understood some of his behaviour.

Northern Ireland. We're usually a good decade or so behind the mainland in adopting legislation, mainly because our Government spends more time collapsed than working

I was diagnosed two weeks ago on the NHS.
The reason I pursued diagnosis was because of long standing and worsening anxiety issues which I believed stemmed from what I suspected to be autism. This has been confirmed and it's sensory issues causing hyperarousal and therefore constant anxiety. Now I know the cause I can use strategies to reduce the sensory overstimulation.

I suspected I was autistic because two of my children have been diagnosed and they're very like me,

My diagnosis has allowed me to make sense of my entire childhood. I'm at peace with a lot of things that troubled me before.

Oh and you are not obliged to disclose to anyone, although you need to be mindful that if not disclosed you are not protected under the Equality Act.

My brother was diagnosed as an adult and on the surface was very sociable the problem was it exhausted him. He never realised this until during his diagnosis and he felt a huge relief when he could understand more of who he was. He never disclosed at work it was purely for his own state of mind.