13 yr won't travel by plane

[Rossigigi]

We have booked to go to Tenerife next year, but now ds2 13
Won't come because of the terrorist attacks- I've spoken to him, given him stats but he's determined he won't come- what do I do?????

arrange for him to go his nans - he'll buckle

I want him to know I'm taking his fears seriously and I don't want to push him into something.

If you're not going until next year, I'd just say that you'll see if you can find somewhere for him to stay while you're away.

Say you'll give him time to think about it but if he really doesn't want to go he can go to grandmas - a year is a long time.

Having same issues..booked a lovely family holiday to paris in summer and my 13yr totally freaking and in tears about airport and fkying :(

Well - you can't drag him kicking and screaming onto the plane. Stats don't really count for much when you are genuinely scared. Maybe let a bit of time go by and talk about it then. Poor lad - you can understand his feelings - heaven knows us adults are struggling enough.

If he won't go then he has to stay. So I'd start trying to facilitate that. Tell him he can stay here and then don't mention it again until next February at least.

Tenerife is probably very safe

I was the same at that age (though terrorism wasn't the focus in my mind at that time), crippling fear of flying, but my parents forced to me fly every year for the annual family holiday, and I was hugely upset by it every time. Eventually, as an adult, I read Allen Carr's The Easy Way to Enjoy Flying which more or less cured me. It dispelled a lot of myths, and I now fly very comfortably, though long-haul over the Atlantic Ocean still gives me the jitters a bit, just because it's so vast. The books is probably quite outdated now, but the sentiment and a lot of the facts are very reassuring. Maybe he could give some bits of it a read?

Thanks everyone your input had been what's needed. I'm going to talk to Mil and I'm sure she will
Have him.
If I'm honest I'm really scared too, but I can't let these people ruin our lives.
I've sobbed through the concert tonight- when scooter was talking about the children in hospital it make's it all the more real.
I feel guilty for bringing up my children in this world. Am I the one to feel like this?
I'm just finding it so difficult to explain things to my ds. Ds17 isn't bothered at all (so he says)

I will look that book up thank you

If he won't go then he has to stay. His decision to make. Probably forget all about it nearer the time.

Also look at the airlines, I believe some offer help for those frightened of flying. When looking at Virgin the other day I'm sure there was something about visiting their training "aircraft" to see and discuss it.

Have a look for fearless flying courses. Maybe attend one with DS with a promise that you won't try to force him if he still doesn't want to go after attending. All the reassurance they give on those courses might just help.

I hate flying, and was completely phobic, couldn't even look at a plane!

So do sympathise, but a fear of flying is really common, and virgin do a course run by pilots, they are at most major airports.

It helped me out no end, as did hypnotherapy.

Good luck

I have been on an EasyJet fear of flying course with my son just this weekend. It was fantastic, I can't highly recommend it enough.

Oh poor him. I mean yes he's being daft but he's 13, it's not like he's got a firm grasp on risk and statistics.

But total pain in the arse for you as well - I think these fear of flying courses sound like a great start.

Also, does he under the difference between charter flights and regular ones? Presuming you booked a package holiday of course - charter flights just don't tend to get targeted in the same way which might help him.