To want presents

[Calyrical]

Whenever it's a birthday we go away. Which is really lovely.

But AIBU to wish I had some presents? Not anything big but just a treasured item I could say was from husband?

Yanbu. Ask him.

I could. It kind of misses the point though and he hates spending money.

Don't ask don't get. Do you buy him token gifts for his birthday?

Yes. Never seems that bothered though.

Chances are he doesn't know what it would mean to you. So you'll need to tell him.

Going away is nice as well though. You get to build memories.

It is. And I never want to sound ungrateful. But it would be so nice to have a special bracelet or ring I could say my husband got for me.

If he hates spending money, tell him it's cheaper to buy you a small gift than a night away would be.

Unless you pay for it, in which case buy yourself something instead of going away.

I've actually done that in the last but it's a bit pathetic!

What you want doesn't really exist though. You want him to spontaneously go out and choose something lovely for you, that is exactly to your taste, as a surprise.

Which is not in his nature to do, so he isn't going to do it, unless you tell him to do it and give him guidance on the sort of thing that you would like.

Chances are that, unless you tell him 'buy me X item from Y shop' he will get it wrong a lot of the time, he'll feel stressed and unappreciated and you'll have to pretend to like something that's not quite right.

Why not have a day out for your birthday, that involves lunch, a museum, walk or whatever, and shopping together for a present for you?