to ask how to deal with depressed dh

[Ineedhelp510]

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Ugh I feel awful tonight. Been with dh for 10 years and we have a 2 year old. When we first got together dh told me he suffered from depression from time to time and it could get really bad (once attempted suicide in his teens). He said he felt it would be a lot for someone to take on but I was adamant it wouldn't be an obstacle for us and we would get through absolutely anything. If I'm completely honest I was very ignorant about depression and how it affects people - I still struggle to fully understand it now. 9 years went by and we were very happy and any episodes of depression were short enough and relatively mild.

However for best part of a year he's been consumed by it. He's just not happy anymore - and I don't know what to do! Hes told me there's no tangible reason for the way he feels but that he's the lowest he's ever been. He doesn't enjoy work or hobbies anymore, doesn't look forward to the weekends, has cut off his family and friends (says me and dc are the only relationships he can handle at the moment) and he just seems to have lost interest in life.

I really am at a loss of what to do. I get that depression is an illness and people can't help it but I'm struggling to cope with it. I keep trying to find a way to fix things by encouraging him to go out with friends or me or arrange holidays - but he's not interested. In fact, he point blank refuses to do anything! It's really putting a strain on our relationship as I'm struggling to see an end to this and I just don't know how to make things better.

Is there anyone out there that can offer some advice? Maybe someone who has suffered from depression or has a loved one who does? He is an introvert and hates talking about feelings. He won't go to get professional helps s just says he's dealing with it if I ask him how I can help. He's brilliant with our dc - it's the only time I ever see him light up.

Hi, I have been on both sides of the fence as someone who has suffered from episodes of depression since my teens and as someone whose husband is recovering from depression.
I found it difficult to get my husband to see GP. However, he did agree to relationship counselling as I told him I couldn't go on with marriage as we were. It was having a big impact on our son too as he couldn't understand his dad's behaviour. I really had to spell it out to my husband as he was so down he had no idea how difficult it was for us, he was so lost in his own sense of misery and uselessness. The counsellor told him in no uncertain terms to get to his GP - sometimes hearing it from a 3rd party can really help, not sure if that's something you could do OP? Or maybe he has a friend who could speak to him? Definitely speak to his GP - if he/she knows background they can probe discreetly next time your DH is in.
Also, please do get support for yourself as a carer - living with someone with depression can be incredibly draining and corrosive. I don't know if it helps, but my husband has slowly put himself back together again with counselling, anti-depressants, sport and voluntary work. It's been very very hard for all of us, I really feel for you. Many and keep posting x

If he won't accept help then you're stuck.Been there and stuck it out for far too long as I would have felt guilty leaving because of what he might do.
Refusing help and then just expecting Ng you to cope and protect your children from it is too much.The children know things are all wrong and I noticed try to protect both parents which is too much.
Stay if you can but really go if it starts to badly effect you or your children,if he won't help himself by even seeing his Go then you just need to ask how much longer can you take it.
I really feel for you, it's a rubbish place to be so you must take some control and start to put yourself first.All the very best.x