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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to hope for a non-weird explanation for this?

29 replies

amibeingwatched · 04/06/2017 17:50

I was just in DH's ebay watchlist (for innocent reasons) and saw he had put some secret cameras in there. If this was your DH, what would you think he was thinking of getting one for?
It's made by stomach churn as he has a weakness for suspicion and jelousy (I've never given him a whisper of a reason to be). It's been an issue in the past but he's acknowledged it as his problem and worked really hard to elimate it, to the extent that I haven't even thought about it for while.
I can't think of any work related reason. I thought about driving, but then he'd have searched for a dash-cam, not secret camera. I will ask him and he may come out with something quite logical but wanted to get some opinions.

OP posts:
lifesjoys · 04/06/2017 17:52

I couldn't possibly explain this away as something minor & logical.

OnionKnight · 04/06/2017 17:52

I'm sorry but based on what you have said about him this is a huge red flag, I can't think an innocent reason.

OnionKnight · 04/06/2017 17:53

*of an

ChickenBhuna · 04/06/2017 17:54

Why were you looking at his watch list?

DarkFloodRises · 04/06/2017 17:55

Well, there could be a logical reason I suppose. Maybe related to security (eg in the event of a break in). It's really worrying if he's going to use them to check up on you though Confused

LedaP · 04/06/2017 17:57

Since you said he he is jealous etc....i dont think there is a reasonable explaination.

If it was my dh my assumption would be for work (own business and paranoid about being broken into or landlord entering when he isnt there). But it sounds like you know deep doen what its for.

Are you sure he hasnt bought any already?

Original poster
amibeingwatched · 04/06/2017 18:01

Oh God I really don't want to have to go looking for cameras Sad we're looking for a car so I was looking at the ones he'd saved in his watch list. Not unusual for me to go on his ipad so he would have known I could see them. Will ask him and see what explanation he comes up with. He does have these tendancies but his innate goodness tends to win out over weirdness usually!

OP posts:
Original poster
amibeingwatched · 04/06/2017 18:02

Thing is, he's at home more than me, I inagine if he would want to watch me anywhere it would be at work (work with lots of men).

OP posts:
FatOldBag · 04/06/2017 18:20

I would think one or more of the following:
Wants to spy on childcare/cleaner in the house
Wants to spy on me in the house
Wants to secretly film us having sex
Wants to secretly film himself having sex with someone else

Original poster
amibeingwatched · 04/06/2017 18:23

well definately not 1, 3 or 4!
I was going to ask him when he got home, but tempted to wait as he is using the car tonight and thinking about it, that's the most obvious place for a camera. I might check in the morning.
I had another look at the ones in his watchlist though and I'm not sure, they weren't the smallest type, and if he was trying to hide one surely he would use the smallest? So wondering if he searched for security cameras and they came up? But then the only ones he saved have the word 'spy' in them!

OP posts:
whateveryousay · 04/06/2017 18:37

My husband bought some to stick in our loft to check for rat activity. Yes, really 😬

Creamdonuts · 04/06/2017 18:39

What did he say?

NapQueen · 04/06/2017 18:39

Have u checked his buying history too?

picklemepopcorn · 04/06/2017 18:40

Don't ask and don't look as he could see you looking. Look on his 'ordered' list.

Do weird things in various places, and wait for him to ask.

APaperMe · 04/06/2017 18:47

whateveryousay so did mine! They kempt coming up and smiling into the lens Hmm

SandyDenny · 04/06/2017 18:50

If he knew you were likely to use his account it might be something innocent although I can't think what if you aren't aware of any issues. Have you had any trouble outside your house recently or with your car?

Rufus200 · 04/06/2017 19:02

Are they battery operated or plug in? Just thinking if plug in then it would be fairly easy to walk round house and look for a plug that has a random cable to something. Also it can't be in the car if plug in.

Northgate · 04/06/2017 19:17

DH got a camera so he could see who was coming to our door after he got a bit paranoid about cold callers (we'd had a few cold callers he felt were suspicious around that time).

Bluetrews25 · 04/06/2017 20:19

Often on MN the men who are suspicious / jealous of an innocent DP messing about with others are cheating themselves.
They suspect it in others as they are doing it.
Just sayin'
Hence the red flag.
Sorry, OP.

winobaglady · 04/06/2017 20:24

Does he have an elderly parent in a home or with a carer that he wants to keep an eye on?

ProfessorPickles · 04/06/2017 20:33

Check in his bought section OP!

Laiste · 04/06/2017 20:34

I wouldn't ask him. I'd wait and see if he buys them. And what he buys in the end. He can't fob you off with 'just interested' then, when they're bought and paid for.

Calvinlookingforhobbs · 04/06/2017 20:43

Huge. Red. Flag.

DubiousCredentials · 04/06/2017 20:58

Look at his recent searches too find out what he actually typed in the search bar. Not that any innocent explanations leap to mind.

Original poster
amibeingwatched · 05/06/2017 07:27

UPDATE: I went into purchase history and he has hasn't bought them (at least not from ebay).
When he got home I said 'so who are you planning to spy on?' in a semi-serious way. He looked mystified, explained I'd seen them in his ebay watch list. He said it was ages ago he put them there and that he'd been thinking of getting one for security. When I asked why it needed to be a secret camera he said it was around the time our sons school was broken into and the thieves managed to cover the security camera with a towel so they never got caught. I actually remember this conversation at that time, and he is a bit 'nerdy' in that way, (y'know, let's work out how to outwit the burglars type thing), so it rings true.
It also didn't really make sense that he'd be putting them in the house as if he was to suspect me of anything it would be work/outside that would concern him.

OP posts: