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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to ask for your ideas and recommendations please

32 replies

willieverever · 04/06/2017 13:23

I need to make new friends and would love suggestions or recommendations of something to do (club to join or similar) to help this. I am a single woman over 35.

I have done alot of volunteering so am looking for something different really.

Any thoughts or ideas for clubs, societies or regular activities to join to meet people and develop some new friends and friendship groups?

I can't sing so choirs etc are out and I'm not keen on the idea of amateur dramatics so am feeling a bit stumped

OP posts:

pinotnoirismyjam · 04/06/2017 13:35

Book club or running club?

We've got a gin club in our area

MrsHathaway · 04/06/2017 13:37

I've made lovely new friends at knitting club. I could just about knit and purl so went along with my very wobbly knitting, and after a couple of weeks I had the confidence to pick up a crochet hook instead which suits me far better.

Any craft hobbies you do on your own that you could do in company?

imsorryiasked · 04/06/2017 13:45

Do you like crafts? There are several "stitch&bitch" groups in my area. Also the local craft/haberdashery so runs classes.
Have you looked at the local adult education classes? Is a good way to meet people with similar interests and you can then meet up outside of the class. If the cost is an issue then there are often one-off sessions.

voobylooby · 04/06/2017 13:50

Some areas have a 'young' WI too. But I'd second running club...

lobsterface · 04/06/2017 13:51

St. John ambulance?

SaucyJack · 04/06/2017 14:00

Have you got a local FB page? I quite often see people on ours arranging meet ups.

Original poster

willieverever · 04/06/2017 14:16

O God I think I will be friendless for ever.

I'm too fat to run. Before I got too fat, I did try this but didn't like running and found it didn't really lead to friendships anyway. People ran and left basically.

Can't knit. Not a sew-er (! or a sewer).

St John's Ambulance doesn't interest me; I've done lots of volunteering before. Also having to wear a uniform creeps me out a bit.

Adult education classes is not a bad idea but I've also tried this before and didn't lead to any friends. There wasn't really class bonding at all - same thing of people arriving and leaving.

I feel very lost and lonely and as if I will never find people who will care about me even as friends.

OP posts:

longcat · 04/06/2017 14:20

I joined a local Meetup group started by a lady who wanted to make new friends. It's for women over 40 only, we do lots of different activities locally and further afield and you can join in as much or as little as you like. I've met some really lovely new friends this way, maybe you could see if a similar group is in your area OP, and start one if not?

PeachesandPie · 04/06/2017 14:25

Try meetup.com and look for groups in your area - there's bound to be one you like. I moved to a new town and wanted some local friends mainly to get out of the house. So far I've been to a German speaking group, a mixed 20s and 30s group (was mainly single men!) and I now regularly meet up with a group of girls of similar ages for coffee, dinner, cinema etc. Good luck!

voobylooby · 04/06/2017 14:30

Where do you live? Perhaps someone might know of something nearby?

Original poster

willieverever · 04/06/2017 14:55

I live in London.

I did join one of those "meet other people in a new city" type groups but it didn't work for me. To be honest (and this will sound dreadful) it was full of knobs. The men were all there to prey on women (the people who had been going to these events for a while would tell stories about Guy X who had shagged his way through everyone and just kept coming to pick up new ONS) and the women were mostly very strange - for various reasons - loner types, eccentric types, look like they're permanently "on something" types. I'm sure (probalby lke OLD) there are nice enough people amongst them but it put me off the whole thing. It also had a slightly desperate frantic panic feeling about it that I couldn't quite put my finger on. Mostly these were sort of meet-up type parties in bars but I did some other things too - smaller gallery visits, dinners, walking tours - so it's not like I didn't try.

OP posts:

MrsHathaway · 04/06/2017 14:58

There's classes and classes: I wouldn't even recognise anyone from my Spanish class but I'm still friends with someone from my massage class ten years on - because it's more of a social thing rather than an educational thing iyswim.

Do you socialise with work?

MissBax · 04/06/2017 14:59

There's an app called 'MeetUp' which finds local groups based on your interests and likes :)

MrsHathaway · 04/06/2017 15:00

Do you need to stay in London? If you're lonely and unhappy there you could consider moving nearer old friends.

voobylooby · 04/06/2017 15:17

Do you have any interests? Or anything you'd like to get in to? Or a kind of bucket list type activity?

Maria1982 · 04/06/2017 15:21

I second looking for a lock Women's Institute group - there are many especially in London , and cater to a range of ages and interests.
You can go as a guest a couple of times before being asked to join

DaleTremont · 04/06/2017 15:22

Ladies Circle

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 04/06/2017 16:40

Is Womens Register still at thing? That used to be good, if I am remembering the name properly.

Brittbugs80 · 04/06/2017 16:49

Your local WI? I'm 36 and love going.

RandomUsernameHere · 04/06/2017 16:50

How about a walking group?

rizlett · 04/06/2017 16:53

A reading group?

See if they have one at your local library?

What do you love to do op?

How about having a week where you talk to everyone you meet? Groups are not the only way to find new friends.

nonamehere · 04/06/2017 17:08

Rotary is a very friendly organisation, and no longer a dining club for businessmen! There will be several clubs in your area, each with a different 'vibe', so you could visit them to find one that suits you.

www.rotarygbi.org

Orangedaisy · 04/06/2017 17:10

Bell ringing. Seriously. You don't have to be religious.

pringlecat · 04/06/2017 17:36

Have you tried parkrun? I know you say you're 'too fat to run' and you've volunteered lots before, but volunteering at a parkrun is an easy way to integrate into a pre-existing really friendly community. Parkrunners welcome not just the elite folk but those who struggle to even walk around the whole park - it's such an inclusive environment.

Unlike a running club where people will often just run and go home, parkrunners aways go for coffee afterwards. And sometimes a massive breakfast.

QuiteChic · 04/06/2017 17:41

WI - because it's NOT jam and Jeruselem. If you can get over your 'ageism' (and perhaps you're not - I was); then you will meet the most amazing group of women, from all backgrounds; and if you let yourself 'bond' with women outside your age group, I wouldn't mind betting you'll find someone who'll be on your wave length !

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