To think Facebook 'marking yourself safe' option is overused?

[iismum]

Sure, it's fantastic if, for example, you were at the Ariane Grande concert or it you spend a lot of time in the vicinity of London Bridge and there was a real chance you might have got caught up in the terror attacks and people would genuinely worry. But I feel like people obsessively marking themselves safe just because they live within 20 miles of the event when there was practically no chance they were involved just feeds the general hysteria and makes people feel that no one is safe.

To be honest, I was not beside myself worrying if my friend in leafy south-west London who probably crosses London Bridge twice a year was safe. What happened is horrendous, but 6 people died. Practically everyone in London is safe. I feel like people's need to mark themselves safe is increasing the impact of these attacks when we should be trying to do the opposite.

I was there last weekend, as in exactly there, and my mum text me to ask if I was ok because she didn't know where I was or if I had gone back this weekend.

A lot of us who live outside central, work visit and socialise very regularly so it's not abnormal in my world for people to use it and a few have (I didn't)

I have family in London. Not central London but I'm still waiting for them to mark themselves safe just in case they were out on a night out or something.

London is a huge place yes but it's not uncommon for people to travel to places right across London for work or fun.

YANBU. After Manchester, my friend tagged herself as safe. She lives in Cheshire.

Well I don't know. I see what your'e saying but I live in Oz and a lot of my mates are in London.

I was very relieved to see all those ticks this morning.

Not close family before anyone asks why I haven't phoned them.

I'm 99% sure they are all fine but I like to see it pop up all the same.

YANBU. Facebook implements it as a data gathering exercise.

It isn't about where you live though. It's if you've recently been near there (I think ?!). I don't know how near.

Can't say I give a hoot if it's overused. Just like I can't find it in myself to be annoyed or irritated by people having vigils, lightening candles or putting temporary ribbons (or whatever they are called) on profile pictures.

It has no impact at all on the actual deaths but it does help individuals mentally. For some it helps them see the good and caring in others. It might help a friend or relative feel better that someone is ok.

The mark safe thing also lets people offer help. I'd say most of them are unresponded to but so what?

Who knows is it's any use but it's not doing bad.

I have family on three different continents who would have worried if I hadn't marked myself safe. YABU.

YABU. It reduces the number of calls to the police casualty bureau, so I think it's a good thing.

My DD lives in Paris. I was so relieved when she tagged herself safe after the Paris attacks.

She told us afterwards she lives nowhere near where the attacks took place, but with only a vague knowledge of Parisian geography we didn't know that.

The people you are complaining about may well have relatives who wouldn't know they are 20 miles away and would worry. Saves everyone having to call everyone else to say they aren't affected.

So I think YABU.

My friend marked herself as safe.
She lives, and always has lived in sheffield.

And loads of people marked how glad they were that she was OK.
I had to comment that I'm sure she was safe, being hundreds of miles away at the time.

I was pleased to see my London friends marked safe. One set might have been in the area (they weren't) and one set almost certainly nowhere near but it's reassuring to see them safe.

How does it affect you that people use it?
Only one person I know used it last night, because he was in the area and his page was full of people asking if he was OK. The many other Londoners I know didn't.

In Manchester quite a few people i know used it. Friends whose families live abroad got endless calls and texts asking if there were OK, a quick marking as safe on Facebook would have reassured all those families who don't know Manchester well so when they hear on the news that there has been an attack there, immediately want to be sure their loved ones aren't affected. Better that than people don't do it in case people like you judge them for doing so. Yabu.

My MIL who lives outside of London and never leaves her house really marked herself safe and lots of people are commenting on FB how worried they were about her
Is she not likey to go out partying in Borough Market on a Saturday night, then?

I found it useful this morning - two friends of mine I was genuinely worried about used it.

However, I have one friend who is a knob. It was obvious from his FB posting he wasn't involved, and he lives further out - his profile is very public etc. He marked himself safe this morning. He also reposts people's nice messages to himself as he replies though, so he's attention seeking.

So YANBU. It is overused. However, as I learnt overnight, it can be really really useful x

I live in London while all my family live elsewhere. I woke to three messages asking if we were ok so I just used the safe tool to let them all know at once. It just saved time. If I had not had the worried messages I probably wouldn't have used it.

I live in Central London, though further north than the Westminster and London Bridge attacks.

After the Westminster attack, I didn't think to mark myself safe. I don't have any business being in Westminster in the middle of a working day. I then went back to work, where I had to leave my phone in a locker. When I returned, I had many missed calls and texts - my parents, grandparents, partner's mum, friends. They see London on the news and, rightly or wrongly, worry about people who may have been in the area. Most of them know I don't work in Westminster, but wanted to check 'just in case'.

So last night, I texted my parents (before they'd even seen it on the news, oops) and marked myself as safe on Facebook.

I'd much rather mark myself as safe 'unnecessarily' than cause them worry like last time (even if their worry was unfounded).

YABU, lots of people don't know the geography of major cities so will worry about friends and relatives who live there, it stops people jamming emergency numbers and is very helpful

I live in "leafy SW London" too and regularly travel through London Bridge. Most Londoners get around London pretty often.

Yanbu.

I think it's fair enough to mark yourself as safe if you live in the city. I've never really been to London but have a couple of family members who live there. I'd have no idea how far away they live from London Bridge but I know they use the station in their commute. I also know they're often out in London on Friday/Saturday nights. Seeing that they were safe this morning was a relief.

With the concert there were people local to me who were there even though we live a couple of hours away, so it's reasonable that people who could feasibly have been there to mark themselves safe.

However, my aunt who was born in Scotland, has always lived in the same place and has only ever been across the Scotland/England border for half a dozen family weddings and a few funerals, and is nowhere near the target demographic of Arianna Grande, really didn't need to mark herself as safe.

It can be a useful feature, especially as the phone networks can be blocked/unable to cope with the sudden surge of traffic (like when you send a happy new year text that gets delivered four hours later), it's an extra way to try and get the message to worried loved ones that you're okay. It can also be used as a "look at me" feature for those who have to be the centre of attention.

The thing is, even if you do live in "leafy south west london", London Bridge is a busy main station. It's part of a lot of peoples daily routine even if they don't live near by for commuting etc.
Trains from south west London don't go to London Bridge. It was a Saturday night - you're not going to get any commuters there. Maybe on a Friday night after everyone's gone down the pub after work.

My cousin abroad always sends me the mark yourself safe thing, so I do it. It would be horrible for her, I would have thought if I didn't. Even if she just did it out of habit, or just because its there. Id always think I was unnecessarily worrying her by not replying because I think it's a bit of an overrreaction, so I do. OTOH, my husbands cousin who lives in Leeds was in London for the day and we didnt realise until she posted so it doesnt really say anything or do anything. We wouldnt have bothered checking if she was safe, but she was right in the vicinity. Luckily they have kids so headed back home earlier.

Ok, I guess I underestimated how much people worry. When only a very small number of people die it's extremely unlikely it's someone you know. I think it's a reflection of how bad we are as a society at evaluating risk, which does really bother me because I think it leads to unhealthy behaviour.

YABU

1. It's a tool for a reassuring, positive purpose. Who cares how much it gets used.

2. Anybody from anywhere can go for a night out or a holiday to London at any time. They will have told some people they were going but of course not their whole list. Those people who knew they were there might be worried.

3. People from abroad are not necessarily familiar with a) UK geography or b) their friends/family's normal movements. I live 40 minutes from London and wasn't there last night but many friends in South America have been asking me to get in touch and say I'm ok.

4. I don't think it is overused anyway. Only about 10 of my friends have checked themselves as safe but about 200+ of them live in London and it would be plausible for another 200+ to have happened to be there last night. I'm not especially concerned about those that haven't used it but it's always nice to read that someone's ok. Why wouldn't it be.

5. If it really annoys you to spend 0.2 seconds reading that someone you never thought was anything but safe is safe then be thankful you aren't more affected.

After Manchester, my friend tagged herself as safe. She lives in Cheshire.
Isn't Manchester in Cheshire, then?