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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not go to this hen do?

11 replies

Bananaramalama · 03/06/2017 21:31

It's next weekend and yes I'm well aware I'm cutting it fine to say I'm not going.

I have already spent £200+ on accommodation, outfits etc - the bride requested an extra £50 from each of us this week so we can buy food/drink supplies for our accommodation and we are all expected to take approx £200 with us!

I have two small children, no DP, and I'm having a wobble with my PND again at the moment and I really don't feel up to going!

Everyone I speak to, EXDP says I should go, enjoy myself, have a break etc but I don't want to and I can think of other things I would prefer to do with the money!

What would be the most polite thing to do or should I just suck it up and go?

OP posts:
laurzj82 · 03/06/2017 21:51

I have depression and do this a lot. Backing out of things at the last minute. Suck it up and go. You have already paid so much money and will probably have a great time and a break from the kids. Not sure how close you are to the bride but if very close it isn't worth the drama if you don't go also!

Mum2jenny · 03/06/2017 21:52

Go if you can afford it and have child cover.

gamerchick · 03/06/2017 21:56

Those other things you would prefer to do with the money, will they lift you up a weekend with your might do?

Is this you or your depression talking OP?

positivity123 · 03/06/2017 22:01

I think you should go. You'll have fun and it would be something different to a usual weekend. It will mean a lot to the bride if you go.

bunnylove99 · 03/06/2017 22:05

I think you should go and try and enjoy the break. You have already put a lot of money into it, which it would be a pity to waste, and it would be a shame to let the bride down if you have already committed to going.

Creamdonuts · 03/06/2017 22:14

Who is looking after the kids? If you're comfortable with them I would go, the break will probably be good for you!

Tiptoethr0ughthetulips · 03/06/2017 22:15

I think you should try it, you've paid the majority of it. It might be awful but I could possibly be quite uplifting especially when you have young DC.

Original poster
Bananaramalama · 03/06/2017 22:35

EXDP has the kids, which is fine! I'm not that close to the bride and only know her through EXDP and I was a last minute addition!
I think is is my depression talking because I can't think of anything else stopping me aside from that! Grrr whys it so bloody difficult! May have to tell myself if I'm not enjoying it at least I'm only an hour away so can come home if I feel like it! I would love a break but I never begrudge not having much time to myself either!
Thanks for all your encouraging words tho it is appreciated!

OP posts:
PaperdollCartoon · 03/06/2017 22:38

Go! I've suffered with depression and I know what it's like to bail on things you don't think you can handle, but you will most likely have lots of fun once you're there. It might help to snap you out of a low, change of scenery. If it all goes tits up you can always leave, blame a sick child if need be Smile

trowelmonkey1 · 03/06/2017 23:15

I've been in exactly the same position OP.

I forced myself to go to a friend's hen party because I'd been looking forward to it for ages and I thought I'd enjoy it once I got there. Unfortunately my anxiety took over and I had the first of several panic attacks before we had even boarded the train. I spent an obscene amount of money on a last minute train ticket and came home the following morning.

By all means go to the hen party, but don't feel bad if you leave early. The important thing is to take care of yourself. It's ok cancel/pull out if you're not feeling up to it. I'm sure the bride will understand.

TheNaze73 · 03/06/2017 23:18

You should go. It'll be a laugh

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