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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU in thinking they are up to something?

26 replies

Spaghettihoops23 · 03/06/2017 19:43

Husband had a female friend from back in school days. Got back in touch recently. She's due to be married but keeps having arguments with her fiance so wedding is constantly called off then on again. DH always helping her deal with things etc. I get jealous. They have slept together when much younger-16 I think. He says no feelings etc she's like a sister.
I've hung out with her and she's really nice but just worried I'm getting the cunt taking out of me. DH isn't the type to cheat but fuck knows!
Today he went to see her to discuss the issues she has wi her mum ie wedding but obviously this now includes the fallout with her fiance!
Just got texts in quick succession saying he had to take her to hospital cause she cut her hand washing a glass. I replied then nothing. Tried to phone him, nothing.
Don't know what to think!

OP posts:
LindyHemming · 03/06/2017 19:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Trifleorbust · 03/06/2017 19:54

Sounds suspicious to me, sorry. Sad

Materdolores · 03/06/2017 19:54

Hmmm. He is either telling you the truth or he is setting a scenario for staying out all night.
Could you call her Mum/ Fiancé / Sister etc and say how worried you are and could they get her to ask your DH to call you?
I'd also call your DH's mates/ brother/ mother and ask the same. The more people who know he's with her the more difficult it will be for him to deny shit.

Original poster
Spaghettihoops23 · 03/06/2017 19:54

Yes i think it's inappropriate too but he doesn't agree. I'm not meaning don't be friends.
We have 1 child, 19 months.

OP posts:
MrsELM21 · 03/06/2017 19:55

Hmm, I wouldn't be happy...

HerRoyalFattyness · 03/06/2017 19:56

I wouldn't be happy at all.

Original poster
Spaghettihoops23 · 03/06/2017 19:59

Fuuuck! This is shit!
I've met her whole family, had lunch etc.
He's suppose to be going to Dundee as doing work for her mums company. Is this bullshit?!?
I was happy about this as he doesn't work and I do so would mean more money coming in. Is this all an elaborate plan?!?

OP posts:
Mammysin · 03/06/2017 20:00

Very suspect. I agree his priorities are skewed. I think you need to react see if he will coming running to you the way he does to his female buddy. I guess his response will further confirm your fears .

PoorYorick · 03/06/2017 20:13

The timing is amazing. An old school friend, relationship utterly platonic, but she pops up and needs his help constantly just as her relationship is heading for the gutter. It's entirely possible she is simply keeping him on a line for some validation every time her engagement nosedives, and doesn't intend anything physical. At the same time, one shouldn't be getting one's sexual and romantic validation from a married man.

Anycakeisgoodcake · 03/06/2017 20:30

Sorry lovely but it doesn't look good.

HappyFlappy · 03/06/2017 20:35

He might be trustworthy, but she isn't! She's making a play for him - and I know you say he isn't the type, but sometimes men are so stupid - especially if she pulls the weeping, badly-done-to, "oh you are so wonderful for protecting and comforting me like this" crap that he could well end up in bed with her.

WarriorsDance · 03/06/2017 20:37

I'd be suspicious to be honest.

Purplepeonies · 03/06/2017 20:45

Have you heard anything now? Could all be innocent but I'd be thinking the same as you if I was in your position.

Fightingthefire · 03/06/2017 20:59

Why doesn't he work? What's he doing for her mums company?

MyCalmX · 03/06/2017 21:14

I would not be happy with this at all. Her dramas should not be taking priority over your relationship!

PedaloBar · 03/06/2017 21:24

It's her neediness that's the issue. Either he gets pulled in, or he doesn't.

Original poster
Spaghettihoops23 · 03/06/2017 21:25

He's home now and telling me not to be so silly.
I don't know maybe I'm overthinking things. Just don't like him having a close emotional bond with another womenSad

OP posts:
Original poster
Spaghettihoops23 · 03/06/2017 21:28

He doesn't work as he's not been well and he looks after our daughter.
Just doing some admin work for the company

OP posts:
peachgreen · 03/06/2017 21:34

Even if there's nothing going on (and I think there probably isn't, on balance) the fact that you're feel it's inappropriate and are uncomfortable with it should be enough for your DH to be willing to make adjustments, tbh (presuming this isn't something you do often!). Especially given you have a wee one.

It would make me uncomfortable too. My DH and I have talked a lot about how a big part of marriage is guarding against inappropriate friendships developing, and this would definitely cross the line for us both.

Hope it works out okay OP.

Materdolores · 03/06/2017 21:59

I'm glad he is home, Spaghetti. Will you both sit down and talk about how his relationship with his friend affects you? I would. I would make it very clear that it is beginning to be inappropriate.

Creamdonuts · 03/06/2017 22:16

How old are you? Sounds very immature for me and very odd

user1482079332 · 03/06/2017 23:01

Nope a shoulder to cry on is a dick to cry on. If their not having an affair yet they soon will be

LittleBeautyBelle · 03/06/2017 23:58

Totally inappropriate. Totally disrespectful to you, his wife.

He is giving her the attention and support you and your 19 month old deserve.

Tell him that from now on, starting right now, she will sort her issues herself or she is free to enthrall somebody else's husband with her sob stories, not yours.

FuzzyPillow · 04/06/2017 00:10

Hm, I'd be a bit suspicious too as she does seem to be needing a lot of his time. Equally it could be innocent though, but a bit inappropriate.

I think you may just have to see how this one pans out?

Zoflorabore · 04/06/2017 00:18

I don't like the sound of this op.

How far away from your home is Dundee? How long will he be gone for?

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