past it once you hit late 30s?

[user1490465531]

According to mumsnet 38 is past it? I read so many threads on here that basically say if you haven't found love/had children by early thirties you have missed your chance.
I would love to find love again but after reading some of these posts I come away feeling defeated and wonder if I can hope for a future with someone.
Sorry to sound so bleak just been reading so many stories on here lately of late 30s to 40s women struggling to meet anyone.
I am not a glamorous 38 yr old either so maybe even less chance for me?

I have literally never read anything of the kind on here.

I think MN is the least likely place to peddle that kind of view.

Nonsense. Definitely not past it. You can find love (and start a family, albeit not necessarily traditionally) much later than that.

I met DH late thirties, and after some difficulties and perseverance, had DS at 39. I hope to have another too!

Hope you get what you want in life OP, it's definitely possible xx

Who says that?!

I've never read that.

If anything MN advises leaving having children until way too late, if they are important to you, that is.

I find the general attitude against having children in your 20's very odd.

Anyway speaking from personal experience (I'm 49),of my peer/work etc group, I've known plenty of people to meet a long term partner over 40/50/60/70.

Gosh not at all! I met DH in my late 30s and had ds at 41. My friend has just had her ds at 45.

just seem to read a lot on here lately about women my age struggling to meet anyone unless they are willing to accept a much older man and I'm only interested in someone my age group.

I've never read that on MN either.

On the contrary, there are lots of supportive posts from people meeting the love of their life and then having a family together when they were in their late 30s / early 40s.

I do have a child so not to bothered about having anymore.

maybe it's just me reading in to things no one else seems to agree!

Past what? Nothing can be "according to Mumsnet", its thousands of different people with varying opinions. It's your interpretation of posts you have read.

I don't know what MN say but personally I think meeting someone past the age of about 30 is very difficult indeed.

I've never read that on Mumsnet. In fact just the other day there was a whole thread of women saying they'd met, married and had children with their partners in their late 30s / early 40s! I do think you're setting yourself up for a fall by only being interested in someone your age - being open to all opportunities and possibilities is what helps you connect with the right person, imo. My DH is 8 years older than me and he's the best thing that ever happened to me. (He was 37 when we met, btw! And very much not over the hill!)

Fuck no! I'm forty five, twice married, but my boyfriend gives me so many things I've never had before it's unreal I really wouldn't lose hope in that respect

it's a self-selecting thing, though, isn't it? If you look on the Relationships Board you might see a few posts about 'Finding Dating Hard Post-40' started by posters in that situation looking for advice or reassurance, but you won't find any threads titled, 'I'm So Happy With The Man I Met Aged 45' because it would just come off as smug, and why would you be posting for advice anyway?

• I did

sorry, I have no idea where that * I did came from...

I hope not! My exH walked out when I was 39 and one of the things I was grateful for was that he did it then as I very much felt that time was "on my side" (I'd already children in my mid 30s though). Wouldn't have fancied starting again at 49 but that said, looking at mumsnet evidence and real life since, plenty of people remarry at that age and later. Quite a few of my "mum friends" had their children early forties after meeting their DPs in their 30s so no, it's by no means "past it".

Not seen it in here either. I met my Dh just before my 40th married by 42 and had twins a week before my 43rd. I was not the eldest in the maternity ward, nor at the school gate and was never referred to as a geriatric mother during my pregnancy.
I have posted that many times on here.

Are you confusing the posts where women are saying their partner doesn't want children and they are hoping they will change in 5 years. Or women in relationships where the guy won't commit to marriage or kids and keeps changes the goal posts. If those instances the general consensus is move on and meet someone else before its too late.

You can find love at any age. My mum is 70 and is dating again and loving it sure she's met some weird ones but there are weird ones of any age.

I have been married twice and my dh is 7 years younger than me. If you have an open mind and an open heart I truly think anything is possible relationship wise.

I've never seen it on here, and I think MN is (finally) beginning to be less tolerant if both overt and casual ageism.

Yes, there is a biological reality of declining fertility. But aside from that, such comments are totally unwarranted. And I would say that in any thread which suggested it was the case.

But yes, it can be hard to find a decent partner (whatever your age) . But that never means it's impossible, nor that you cannot have a good life single, looking, coupled up or polyamarous. Take your pick!

Don't be silly, you're not past it at all. And you don't need to be 'glamorous' to meet someone either. Join clubs of things you're interested in and your likely to meet someone.

I've never read anything like that on here. It's quite optimistic regarding dating forty plus as there's lots who have and currently are doing it.

Yeah sorry I've never seen that on here either!! Sometimes people post things like "I'm 36 and despairing because I don't think I'll be able to meet a partner and have kids" and the responses are usually really positive.

I think you pick up on what you're sensitive about, it could be 1 comment in 100 but that's the one that sticks with you.