To really dislike my son at the moment

[mynotsoperfectlife]

I really LOVE my ten year old son.

I really don't LIKE my ten year old son just now.

He's being absolutely awful. I am really not well - feel a bit better today but still am just about managing to stay upright and am actually in a fair bit of pain. I did a museum thing the other day which he declared was babyish and it was a bit (for younger siblings really - Beatrix potter) but still thought he might like it. He didn't.

Unfortunately since then I've just been too ill so have had to hand over to DH. And I get DS is disappointed. But I do think
"Mum, you're not ill, you're fat and lazy!"
"Mum, just get up," (said with a look of absolute disgust that really looks out of place on a ten year old.)
Lots of passive aggressive conversations with younger sister along the lines of OH, well, sister, it would be GREAT to do xyz but we can't because MUM is ILL.

Fuck. Off. DS.

I have told him when I am back to full speed we are having a very serious talk indeed.

(This is tres out of character for DS. I'm a bit hurt really.)

Just need a rant, as you were ...

If its out of character could it be that you being ill is scarying him. Yes he isnt handling well but he is 10.

It sounds as if he is repeating what someone else is telling him. His dad maybe?
I wouldnt expect a 10 year old to say those things unprompted tbh.

If you're ill his dad should be pulling him up on these comments. Don't let any of it slide or you'll be setting the pattern of what he thinks he can get away with saying to you for the teenage years.

I think he is scared, but I do feel like killing him want him to know how cruel and wrong what he's saying is.

I don't think this is dh. One of dhs really nice qualities rests in how lovely he is to people when they're ill, me or a child.

I would lose the plot if my DS1 called me "fat and lazy" or even one or the other.

I have days when I can't do anything much and I get my ds is disappointed to be missing out on fun activities, but he seems to realise that if he plays nicely and helps out with his little brothers then hopefully I'll get better quicker. (I'm recovering from a brain injury so on bad head days I'm useless but if it's relatively quiet and I don't get stressed I often feel much better the next day). My eldest ds is 4 and if he can understand that then I'd hope a 10 year old could.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Sounds like a talk from you or your DP about being respectful to others is in order!

Is there any way he (and ds) can be farmed out to play with a friend(s) for a day whilst you have a little time to yourself to try to feel a bit better?

If you don't have the energy right now then your dh needs to give him a serious talking to. Disgusting behaviour from a 10 year old!

Well, we are actually on holiday (typical!) so I think some of the bratty behaviour is stemming from this. Back tomorrow thank god!

That does sound awful, I'm sorry. Can you let him see how upsetting it is for you? I suppose if he feels bad it might make it worse though - what the PP said about acting put because he's scared seems spot on but it's horrible for you.

I think it's fear. Honestly, this is so not what he's normally like I think perversely part of him wants me to rise up and give him the biggest bollocking ever!

Happy to oblige, once I can!

Sounds like he may be challenging you if it's uncharacteristic of him, not in a nasty way but maybe provoking you into being his normal mom again. Think he may regret how far he went when you're feeling better and pull him on the fat and lazy comment! Absolutely no excuse for that.

Why can't your DH have that serious talk with him now, rather than waiting till you're up to it?

I think so Mission

Ceto because DH would go absolutely mad and it would lead to a crying DS and ruined holiday.