It would take forever to explain the complicated history of my family so I will be as succinct as possible.
I live overseas and have two small children. I don't work. DH works and we are comfortable but by no means 'rich'.
Back home in the U.K. I have a divorced DM and DF. Also a brother and a sister. All of us three siblings are in our 30's.
From the age of 16 I've had to be financially, emotionally and practically independent. I put myself through school, university and started a career with little support from anyone.
My mother was made redundant several years ago and despite best efforts has not been able to find work. She has just lost her house and moved into local authority accommodation. She manages as best she can within her budget.
My father is a gambler, has always been terrible with money. He lives alone, is retired and has a serious illness. The little money he receives in benefits is usually gambled away.
My brother is long term unemployed and in and out of trouble with the law.
My sister has never worked. Has two children and lives on benefits. Has long term mental health issues and has developed physical issues due to poor self care.
As the person who 'did well' and got away I feel an overwhelming sense of guilt and pressure. From the age of 16 when I started to earn money in a weekend job, through being a student and from there onwards, I've felt somehow responsible for the rest of my family. Over the years I've regularly been asked for money from all members of the family. In particular my father and sister, who both seem to share a total inability to deal with incoming money and outgoing expenses. Both regularly sell items to cash converters, buy items on credit from places like brighthouse and always have some kind of emergency loan ongoing with the benefits agency.
The most recent issue and reason for posting is yet another request for money from my sister today. Apparently her electric and gas both about to run out (its on a pay as you go meter) and bread, milk and essential supplies running low. She says she has no one else to ask.
I've said no. This is a never ending cycle. She contacts me, on the other side of the world as though I'm some kind of bank machine. I feel I have to finally be strong and draw a line somewhere. She is emotionally blackmailing me - how could I leave my niece and nephew without warmth and food etc. but this is always her approach and it's a recurring pattern.
I feel bad for saying no but I can't keep being responsible for her and her children.
AIBU for saying no?