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Original poster

"Ful time mum" on CV- yes or no?

492 replies

likeababyelephant · 01/06/2017 18:57

I just received a rejection from a job a spent ages tailoring my CV for and writing a very good cover letter for. Only to be told there were others with better skills/more experience. This is for an HR entry level job btw.

I can't help but think that it's because I put "full time mother" on my CV. But I would expect recruiters to seek to diversify their workforce, especially as it's an HR job. Are they discriminating against mothers or something?

Should I omit this information from my CV. I feel like I have better/more skills as a mother than I did before I had DD.

OP posts:
YoloSwaggins · 01/06/2017 21:31

I second that, have you been on the wine

Elendon · 01/06/2017 21:31

What about all the women who go through fertility treatment, miscarriages etc and dont get pregnant? I suppose they haven't "achieved" In your eyes elendon.
Your posts are actually pretty offensive

So why have mumsnet? Is that not offensive to women going through fertility treatment and not getting pregnant?

NoLoveofMine · 01/06/2017 21:31

So if you went to an interview and were asked if you have children what would be your response?

I can't see how it'd be relevant to most jobs, unless the job is working with children, so it shouldn't be asked I wouldn't have thought.

QueenMortificado · 01/06/2017 21:31

Dont want to upset employers now do we

No we don't. And for that reason its probably not wise to add "can neck a pint in 3 seconds", "lacks a gag reflex" and "once had a threesome with some very attractive military men". Achievements though they are I think they employers might not like it if one included them.

JustHereForThePooStories · 01/06/2017 21:33

Elendon, you seem like a very unhappy person.

I'm sorry that your career or motherhood didn't work out as you wanted.

I hope you have support around you.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 01/06/2017 21:35

Mumsnet isn't offensive to women having fertility treatments/struggling with infertility. There are sections for those topics.

It's not that anyone thinks having a baby is unimportant. It's that we live in a misogynistic world, and the OP isn't in a position of power where she can afford to pretend that isn't the case.

Elendon · 01/06/2017 21:35

No. I have to see a person tomorrow about my son and his PIP plan. He's 15. He's not happy. I may have to look for work. I can't get JSA because I'm currently a carer, and I may not get income support if his PIP doesn't go through.

Okay? I'm angry that women cannot be validated for having children and that it's seen as something to hide. Anyway, I'm off. Children are not an achievement. Sweeping floors and wiping other peoples children's bottoms is.

Elendon · 01/06/2017 21:37

No we don't. And for that reason its probably not wise to add "can neck a pint in 3 seconds", "lacks a gag reflex" and "once had a threesome with some very attractive military men". Achievements though they are I think they employers might not like it if one included them.

I'm glad you think that equating caring for my son for 15 years amounts to what you listed above. That makes me feel so much happier. Thanks!

MrsDc7 · 01/06/2017 21:38

I would be very surprised if an interviewing manager asked you if you had any children or even a question that could be construed this way. They have to be able to prove that the recruitment process is fair and not in breach of The Equality Act 2010. If they have questioned you regarding your parental status they are leaving themselves open to being accused of giving the job to someone else because of that

LRDtheFeministDragon · 01/06/2017 21:39

Okay? I'm angry that women cannot be validated for having children and that it's seen as something to hide. Anyway, I'm off. Children are not an achievement. Sweeping floors and wiping other peoples children's bottoms is.

I'm angry that women aren't validated for that too.

I'm also angry that female-dominated service jobs, like cleaning and childcare, are belittled.

You can't belittle the one and expect the other to be celebrated. They're both looked down on because women aren't fairly treated.

YoloSwaggins · 01/06/2017 21:39

So why have mumsnet? Is that not offensive to women going through fertility treatment and not getting pregnant?

WTF.

It's a website they don't have to go on.

Saying they haven't "achieved" is offensive, yes.

My mind is literally boggled.

user1495707114 · 01/06/2017 21:40

Elen

I understand that you feel you want support but sabotaging this women's career with terrible advice and derailing her thread (which is giving her support) is pretty selfish. Imagine if you were writing a thread about your problems and someone else decided to take the piss derailing your real life concerns because they felt angry about something else going on in their lives.

please respect the OP and just take your commentary elsewhere!

JustHereForThePooStories · 01/06/2017 21:41

I'm angry that women cannot be validated for having children

But they can! Women can be validated for a lot of things- running marathons, investing wisely, being witty, being able to make balloon animals. It doesn't mean that these things and paid employment are mutually inclusive.

A recruitment process validates relevant experience and tacit knowledge- it doesn't validate having kids, rescuing puppies, or climbing Everest.

Best of luck with your job search. I'd strongly suggest coming back and reading this thread sometime because, amongst all of your vitriol, there's a lot of good advice to the OP that might be of use to you.

StatisticallyChallenged · 01/06/2017 21:41

I got a full blown 'CV of life' type a year or two ago. It was about 4 pages long with lengthy chat about every element of the person's life; if I was chatting to them as a friend they would probably have been interesting however it was incredibly inappropriate for a job application. Phrases along the lines of "if I can raise 5 kids I can cope with anything haha"

Your CV is about your professional life, not your entire history.

Babbitywabbit · 01/06/2017 21:43

Well said user, very selfish and I offensive

YoloSwaggins · 01/06/2017 21:44

I'm angry that women cannot be validated for having children and that it's seen as something to hide.

It's not "something to hide", it's just unrelated to most professional jobs - you wouldn't mention anything if it was irrelevant. I have plenty of achievements I'm proud of but the ONLY relevant ones to my job are

a)my degree
b)my work experience
c)languages, and these are usually irrelevant

This isn't a "patriarchy out to get you" issue, it's just the simple fact that most people's domestic lives, and ANYTHING outside academia/employment, is not useful information for a CV or professional job. I mean, people brag about going up Everest in interviews, but it's not related so employers don't care. It just makes the person sound like a show-off.

Forget kids - you have to hide everything personal for a job! That's why you make Facebook private.

madein1995 · 01/06/2017 21:51

I'm not a parent but full time mum seems cringy, just because soneone works makes tgem no less of a mum. And the poster who compared nursery nurses to parenthood - just no. A nursery nurse is a paid job, it is work, looking after other peoples children. Choosing to have children and then staying at home with them isnt work

Beanimum · 01/06/2017 21:51

I've always thought full time mum/dad meant looking after children who don't yet go to school/nursery or are home educated ie during the "working day", you are looking after your own children. So a full time nanny looks after some-one else's children 9-5, a full time mum/dad looks after their own. Never realised people found it offensive.

And stay at home parent was used more once children are school aged.

StarryCorpulentCunt · 01/06/2017 21:53

Anything that says full time mum/mummy/mother goes straight in the bin where I work. It is twee and unprofessional. Career break to have a family/look after/raise children is fine.

DrDreReturns · 01/06/2017 21:56

It's on a par with 'the University of Life'

Epipgab · 01/06/2017 21:57

It may have been nothing to do with you putting "full time mother" on your CV. Maybe there really were "others with better skills/more experience" even though you describe it as an entry-level job. Have you done work-shadowing or voluntary work in the field you want to work in? Can the university careers service give you some pointers?

Nancy91 · 01/06/2017 22:00

When I worked in recruitment we were told to delete the term "full time mum" from the CVs and if it was the bulk of the CV we would totally disregard the applicant.

Instasista · 01/06/2017 22:03

I agree with user, well said. Even you're being very selfish and self obsessed.

Flamingoprincess1212 · 01/06/2017 22:06

I think as PPs have said 'career break' 'caring responsibilities' and 'gaps in employment to raise a family' are all okay and even 'stay at home parent' is less bad than full time mum, but I have had colleagues and managers who will instantaneously reject an application who uses the phrase full time mother, because they find it a massive personal insult that someone thinks working makes you less of a mother.
They also stated that it suggests an applicant has less of a holistic attitude towards work and the wider world. Which cannot necessarily be helpful when working with people, as your approach to issues should be completed on both a macro and micro scale.

Sorry you didn't get the job, fwiw I'm sure you're lovely, and if you really want to know you could always ask! Flowers

MaisyPops · 01/06/2017 22:08

Beanimum
It gets people's backs up because saying "full time parent" suggests that those who go to work are somehow part time parents.

Plus, in my experience it's only a certain group of SAHP who use phrases like "full time mammy" and they are often the ones who get an eye roll from me because of the way they carry on with it (they need to take a look at sensible SAHP for an example of how to do it).

Some parents choose to stay at home, some stay at home because it's not financially worth working, some are part time, others full by choice, others full time because it pays the bills. All are full time parents.