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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think detatched house equates to better standard of living sort of !

95 replies

ginorwine · 01/06/2017 15:18

Hello
Have lived in terraced house that we love for many years - brought dc up here . Fab 4 storey terrace with views over the sea . Inside really lovely to us as well as garden . Trouble is , neigbour s allowed to walk accross garden to take bins out and bikes etc . Neigbour also build summer house/ music room within 3 foot of my little summer house were ilove to sit ( perfectly entitled to )
Feels like garden of 12 foot v narrow ( 100ft long tho ) and the rare but potential of , walking accross garden now intrusive ...when dc little all was busy anyway and it didn't matter. Now live in beautiful house lovely garden infab area but feel a poss need for private garden. Seen house that is detatched in less nice area - the oau off is detetched and I'm hoping to ask / establish are the benefits of detatched fantastic??lived here were you have lovely neighbours but were can hear thro walls and have walk across garden and wd really appriciate knowing what it is like to be detatched with privacy . Our area is fab and I have lots friends here - impromptu wine / coffee - lots to lose - lots to gain- wd really appriciate help with the balance sheet . ( the other area were detatched house is is less vibrant suburbia cf with cityand sea views ) thanks

OP posts:
Original poster
ginorwine · 01/06/2017 15:59

Colours yes that is like our house
We also pass thro neighbours to do bins
They are great but it is rented next door where we pass and it's th thought that we don't kno if they will stay is also issue as tho we gave rights to pass diff folk may not like it in future - it's like as we get older we worry about it more !

OP posts:
Original poster
ginorwine · 01/06/2017 16:02

Vickie yes I admit the view is amazing
You can see a city hills and the sea .from the other house if you stand on a bed you can see a slither of sea .

OP posts:
ElspethFlashman · 01/06/2017 16:04

I wouldn't put up with a neighbour walking across my 12ft garden for a sea view, tbh. And the summer house thing would bother me tbh. Sure, he's entitled, but the whole point of my owning a summer house is for peace and tranquility. I'd end up never using it.

We are in a semi, are selling up and only looking a fully fully detached I.e. a proper decent gap on each side. We're compromising on location to get it as realistically you don't get those houses in the middle of town. But we are surrounded by people here and can hear everything from next door. We don't enjoy our garden in the summer either as everyone is so loud. I am craving some QUIET!

lizzyj4 · 01/06/2017 16:08

It depends how detached you are, as others have said a lot of new-build 'detached's are a foot apart, if that.

I don't have any close neighbours and most of the time I love that I can't hear other people and don't have to deal with 'neighbour issues'. But as others have said, sometimes it's nice to have other people nearby.

I love big old terrace houses too, yours sounds lovely! I'd stay put if I were you. (I'd much rather live in a terrace house than on a modern estate of detached houses where I imagine everyone being really judgy and me and my motorbike-loving brood and giant cats would get in trouble all the time.)

heron98 · 01/06/2017 16:09

I live in a back to back so have houses on all sides apart from the front. Sometimes when a neighbour (and I don't know which one) goes up their stairs I think it's our stairs and start panicking there's a burglar.

PhuqIt · 01/06/2017 16:11

We moved into our first detached 5 years ago. Being rather antisocial I love it! No worrying about noise, DIY etc - I couldn't imagine living in anything else now (apart from one of those huge 3/4? Storey Victorian houses - is that what you have OP? Wanna swap? I love old houses! )

Original poster
ginorwine · 01/06/2017 16:16

I wdnt move to new build with a foot apart .. it's a 1930 detatched - drive to one side then 4 foot wrap round gardenother side ...I'm worried that I don't kno wot it wd be like if got noisey neighbours in detatched - I have no idea if it wd be noisey from inside - people here are considerate - howeverneugnours can change - but ican hear what they say Thro the walls and hear sex etc!

OP posts:
SarfEast1cated · 01/06/2017 16:16

I'd love to live in a detached house, and not be overlooked, but in the London you hardly ever get that, unless you are a millionaire. I hate the noise of neighbours having parties, being overlooked, hearing the people upstairs cough/sneeze etc.
I'd move if I could.

Original poster
ginorwine · 01/06/2017 16:17

Phu - yes 4 storey Victorian ....

OP posts:
Sugarpiehoneyeye · 01/06/2017 16:18

Personally, I love living in a detached home, with private garden, in a quiet area. You can always visit friends, or invite them over. Do it OP, you won't regret it.

Justaboy · 01/06/2017 16:19

VickieCherry Lighthouse perhaps?, now there's splendid isolation:)

Original poster
ginorwine · 01/06/2017 16:20

Phu
Yes it's old and huge
!! I used to think well I can escape to diff floor - this is tru still- it's the access across the garden that - with hearing thro walls combined - is the issue ..

OP posts:
Original poster
ginorwine · 01/06/2017 16:21

Phu why wd u swap from detatched ?

OP posts:
GloriaGilbert · 01/06/2017 16:22

Terraced houses are a bloody nightmare. Sadly, that's pretty much all they have in London - being a millionaire doesn't buy a detached house. More like gajillionaire.

Grilledaubergines · 01/06/2017 16:22

I've lived in a detached and now live in a terrace. I'm really happy here because the house is solid, I've great neighbours and it's a great location which was my priority. I've never yearned for another detached - that brought with it it's own set of issues.

It Would be a pretty shit landscape if we all liked the same.

millifiori · 01/06/2017 16:24

I lived all my life in terraced houses, then rented a semi before buying a detached house. Detached is so much more relaxed. There's way more daylight for a start. But best of all, when DS2 plays his electric guitar at full volume for hours every day I know the neighbours can't hear. It would cause friction in a terraced house.

nannybeach · 01/06/2017 16:26

Had 30s semi before, but really noisy neighbours, not young or idiots, but middle age, and professional very loud TV gaming, parties, People the other side also professional people ut inconsiderate, kids playing on trampoline at mid night, when we downsized, detatched complete priority, would never be joined to anyone ever again, incidentally have really nice neighbours now, DD semi, can practically hear next door breathing I am a very light sleeper couldnt stand that.

Genevieva · 01/06/2017 16:29

Could the neighbour get to their house and get their bins out if there wasn't an easement? If they could it might be worth finding out what the value of getting rid of the easement would be for your property and offering to pay them a lump sum plus legal fees to have it removed from both of your deeds.

Babbitywabbit · 01/06/2017 16:57

Depends. I wouldn't move from a lovely old terraced house to a poky modern detached. Many new builds are packed closely together and you could find yourself overlooked, or with similar garden noise, BBQ a few feet away etc

If on the other hand you can afford a period detached house on a good size plot and a garden where you can chill without being overlooked or crammed in between other gardens ... yeap definitely miles better

Lottie991 · 01/06/2017 17:01

I live in a detached house and I wouldn't go back to a semi detached, I don't want to hear the neighbours and I don't want to worry about how loud the kids are because of next door.

Foxyloxy1plus1 · 01/06/2017 17:18

Not all new builds are crammed together and not all have tiny gardens. Much depends on the developer. Cheap developers will cut corners, just like everything else.

We're much further away than a foot apart from our neighbours, our garden is quite big and it's very peaceful.

nokidshere · 01/06/2017 17:30

I've lived in two detached houses. The first was a 250yr old cottage with walls 2ft thick, and now it's a spacious, light, new build (20yrs old) on an estate.

The old house was far noisier than this one. It was in a small village with just a few houses. But they all had dogs, there was lots of horses, farm vehicles, traffic whizzing through on the nearby main road.

Here the houses aren't on top of each other despite being new build, we are in a cul de sac so no traffic noise, quiet neighbors, really no noise at all.

So I think the location is more important than the house to be honest.

yorkshapudding · 01/06/2017 17:31

We moved from mid-terrace to a detached house on a corner plot and we LOVE it. More space, more light, more privacy, no neighbour noise at all. In our last house we could hear the neighbours hoovering, TV, arguing, coughing..even their alarm clock.

Location is the most important thing though imo. If we'd already been in an area we really liked I don't think we would have moved purely for the sake of being detached.

AnUtterIdiot · 01/06/2017 17:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Babbitywabbit · 01/06/2017 17:48

Is the detached property you're considering a new/ish house? Because you also need to think about your personal taste and whether you're prepared to live in new. Your current house sounds gorgeous. We used to live in a Georgian terraced house, and although hearing the neighbours was a bit irritating at times, there was enough that we loved about the features of the house and location to keep us there 20 years. We did then move to detached but only when we found an equally lovely old house. Period detacheds are very pricey though. It sounds as though your lack of privacy is a slight irritation at the moment rather than a serious problem, though only you can weigh up whether it's worth moving. I think it would take a lot to shift me from a sea view though!