To ask what to about CM?

[babykite]

Not a aibu as such but My ex does anything to avoid paying, I've received 42 pound in six months. I've just asked for another 20 and he is turning it round saying he has bills to pay first etc.
Am I better off going down CM agency?

Furthermore whenever he has my son I provide food and nappies as he just won't buy this

I honestly don't understand why this is asked so often on here. It's what the CMS is for. Apply today and stop providing food nappies ffs, he can buy his own!

I guess I feel guilty and I don't want extortionate fees for doing it

Guilty for what? He isn't providing for his child.

You will pay a £20 fee. If he refuses to pay, then eventually you'll have 4% of the money collected taken. He will have to pay 20% on top of the calculated figure. Even if he's on benefits, you should be receiving £7 a week, that's £182 in six months. That's how much he's taking the piss out of you. I bet you've spent more than the money you've received on supplying him with food and nappies!

Of course you should go through CMS. Your child has two parents. Why should only one of them pay for the costs of that child?

Cms is OK for complient non resident parents but if your ex is non complient then be prepared to be in for a bumpy ride, They are useless, My ex hasn't paid for my kids for years through Cms.

If I don't provide nappies he will more than likely come into my house and take them, he doesn't provide food God knows why. My son always comes back dry as if he hasn't had enough to drink and always with spare nappies. It makes me sick to think he can barely even look after him.
It's my son's 3rd birthday in two weeks and he says he won't give me money as he needs money to buy him a water gun

Was he abusive? Because you seem very passive about the fact that he is neglecting your son and manipulating you. If so, very understandable and maybe get some counselling.

Then lock your door!

He won't change if you keep giving him reasons not to...

Not giving him enough to eat and drink is neglect!

Is there not somewhere you can report him if he is neglecting your sons basic needs whilst in his care.

I very much doubt that Children's Services will intervene. Their threshold is very high.

Unless he is in regular paid employment where his earnings can be attached the agency cannot do much. Paying your debts - not just CM - is fast becoming voluntary. Sorry but that's how it is.

CM maintenance is the least of your worries. Why are you allowing him to take your child and basically neglect him?

He has a key to my house, he was very abusive. Most of which I am still suffering from. I worry if I stop contact then he will hurt me in some way.
He is in regular employment and has just moved onto a different job which is higher paid. But still it's like getting blood from a stone

Please speak to Women's Aid. This really isn't right at all. You don't have to live your life in fear like this and call the CMS today. They don't backdate, so don't wait.

CMS is useless is NRP doesn't want to pay - not had a penny for 2 years and there appears to be nothing you can do.

I know you are scared of your ex but he is neglecting your child and i would stop contact unless he can loo after him properly whilst in his care.

Change your locks if he still has a key! And thos is urgent, do it today or tomorrow, but don't wait for something to happen please.

Why does he have a key to yours?

Speak to Women's Aid asap. I'd stop contact with this low life. If he can't be bothered to pay what he should then he can have the expense of going to court.

Wikihow changing your locks and do it today. It's easy and quick.

Call Women's Aid and get some support and advice.

All money through official channels because he is abusive and can't be trusted.

Talk to the NSPCC about the neglect.

You poor thing. He sounds utterly dreadful.