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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To stop buying the DC icecreams?

46 replies

AudTheDeepMinded · 01/06/2017 08:30

When I were a lass an icecream was a real treat, now every time we go out as a family almost the first thing they utter (after 'are we nearly there yet') is 'Can I have an icecream?'.
It is taken as a god given right that they will receive an icecream, whether or not they have behaved themselves, and they whine and whinge from start to finish until they get one. I'm fed up with the entitled little brats and am thinking of enforcing an icecream embargo until they start behaving and appreciating what lucky little sods they are.
IABU (ps I am not enjoying this half term at all).

OP posts:

sticklebrix · 01/06/2017 09:37

I choose how many ice creams per week in the holidays (usually 2 per child), they choose when we buy them.

An embargo wouldn't be unreasonable OP!

chipsnmayo · 01/06/2017 09:43

I agree OP, if DD was good on a day out she would get an ice cream (or some treat - souvenir, chocolate etc) or if it was extremely hot and we're out but it was never a regular occurrence, as we've always got the tub ice cream at home which lasts much longer + it's a lot cheaper.

Chloe84 · 01/06/2017 09:47

YANBU at all. Magnums are £1.65 for a pack of 4 in Tezzies but £2 for a single one and about!

Ice creams out and about should be a once in a while treat.

QuimReaper · 01/06/2017 09:50

I wouldn't link it to good behaviour tbh, as you then have to buy them for only a few

"Only a few" made me chuckle, makes her sound like she's got a whole primary school there rather than three sprogs

QuimReaper · 01/06/2017 09:53

Things like this do make me sad though as it just reminds me how fucking expensive everything's become. Things like a cinema trip or a trip to the swimming pool used to be something I'd do with my pocket money and have change left over for the vending machine. Now, even with "pocket money inflation" that'd be all I could do for the bloody week.

My Grandad was always the Ice Cream King when we were kids and he'd think nothing of getting a "round" in for our huge family days out (mum is one of four, and the other three all have 3+ kids). That'd set you back about £150 these days.

I know it wasn't really about expense in your case OP so sorry for the derail...

Kitsandkids · 01/06/2017 09:56

I've told my kids that I buy them ice creams, or other treats, when I want to, not when they ask and that actually it is quite rude to keep asking for things all the time. This came about after I said no once and my 8 year old threw a bit of a strop until I pointed out all the money I'd spent on him so far that week and that I was sick of him asking for more and more all the time. I said I liked treating them but I didn't like them acting spoilt and not appreciating what they were given. I said from then on any request for ice cream would be met with a 'no.'

So far it seems to have worked. We pass a shop on the way home and sometimes I'll say, 'it's a hot day. Would you like to get an ice cream from the shop?' To which they always say yes. This means that sometimes as we're approaching the shop I get, 'isn't it hot today Mum? I'm really very hot!' But I only offer if I was going to anyway - definitely not every sunny day. Otherwise I just say, 'We're nearly home. I'm sure you'll cool down there!'

My kids are 8 and 9 though, so that strategy might not work with younger ones.

Hillarious · 01/06/2017 09:57

When an ice cream van starting parking outside our primary school, I bought the DCs an ice cream each on the first day and told them that when I refuse from now on to buy them one, they can't moan that I never buy them an ice cream and that they should make sure they enjoy the one they have whilst it lasts.

Groupie123 · 01/06/2017 10:07

Hmm...my parents are Indian (via East Africa). Ice cream is considered an appropriate daily dessert over there and so we had a scoop everyday in the summer. Never had it from the ice-cream van & rarely had it from anywhwere except those cheap vanilla/neopolitan tubs.

I agree that icecream (or any food) shouldn't be a reward for good behaviour. You end up messing up your kids eating habits that way.

Allfednonedead · 01/06/2017 10:31

We have ice cream once a week, on Saturdays. This can sometimes cause a little wistfulness, but never an attempt to change the rule.
They get home made juice lollies regularly in hot weather, though.

youarenotkiddingme · 01/06/2017 10:35

I need to know more about an ice cream farm

Yanbu. I hate kids whinging about ice creams as it's just become a 'thing' and part of the day as much as getting dressed.

When I use to go out with other parents and children (before they got to teen age!) there was a mix but 2 children who asked for ice cream and fair rides and drinks and chips from the minute we arrived were memorable.
In the end we finally discussed it as a group (everyone had varying financial abilities) and agreed that we'd say what we were prepared to pay for and that anyone who wanted to do more could branch off in their own. This mum spent a lot of time off on her own and then decided she didn't want to be part of the group and apparently it was because we were excluding her
No! It was because when we went for a walk we went around the place stopping off at various different attractions rather than running back and forth to whatever demand the kids made next.

You just have to preservere but they'll get it if you stick to your guns and remain calm.

Also try the 'yes' technique. So "can we have an ice cream" is answered with "yes there's loads in the freezer at home - how lovely it'll be to watch TV later with an ice cream"

Xmasbaby11 · 01/06/2017 10:36

We have ice cream regularly in the summer, either at home or out. I don't link it to good behaviour. I've no idea if it's right or not! We often take picnics and don't have expensive days out so I actually don't begrudge £2 each for an ice cream. It's the same as a coffee and they really enjoy it.

BastardBloodAndSand · 01/06/2017 10:49

I usually get a box from a supermarket........yesterday I treated us to.a.proper one as they had Mr Whippy.......2 Mr whippys and one cone with two scoops of ice cream for.the dodgy one.who.doesn't like.Mr Whippy came to 8 Bleddy quid !! 😲😲😲 I.nearly choked !!

These were plain whippys too, no flakes etc.

thethoughtfox · 01/06/2017 10:57

Just stop buying them for a few months ( won't kill them) until they stop expecting them and then do it randomly , not every time, in the future. It's not their fault they have come too expect them.

Pinkheart5917 · 01/06/2017 11:00

Say ice cream when out is for well behaved children? That's what my parents use to say

Mine dc are only small so don't really ask for it when out and about but on a really hot day I will buy one but prefer to give it to them at home, I've got an ice cream maker I love playing with

FloatyCat · 01/06/2017 11:06

I think this also extends into buying drinks wherever we go, there just seems to be a general expectation to have a drink bought whenever we go anywhere the second the kids feel 'thirsty'. It costs the best part of £6 if there are 4 of you.
I just say no, I don't recall ever being bought a drink / can when I was a kid, however seems to be an expectation now.
I will be the worst mother in the world today when I produce my re-filled supermarket bottled water today at the park.

SnoutFish · 01/06/2017 11:32

Floaty I don't know anyone who buys drinks when out and about. Everyone takes a re-fillable water bottle with them. I'm mean as this year I'm refusing to carry them and insisting the DC (5&7) carry their own, although DS usually offers to carry DD's and sometimes even mine too!

Berrybakecake1 · 01/06/2017 11:39

The more you ask the less you get.
If mine mention icecreams they don't get one but if they've been good as well as not asking then I will ask them if they would like an ice cream. (Usually because I fancy one too)

Eolian · 01/06/2017 11:44

We do a fair bit of mountain walking and my dc earn an ice cream per 300m ascent . If we do 600m they bank the second ice cream for a later date. Yes it's bribery, but in the other hand they do quite a lot of exercise to get their reward!

WindwardCircle · 01/06/2017 11:52

I find pre warning helps. As in 'we are going to the beach today, but I'm not going to be buying ice creams' and then sticking to it. It seems to sink in better than only saying no ice creams after the ice cream van has been sighted.

youarenotkiddingme · 01/06/2017 13:26

I know lots of kids who are thirsty the minute
......

•you stop at a petrol station
•you walk past a newsagents
•you get into town.

It's because they get drinks everytime it happens and they ask.

My best ever was leaving home - driving 200m to get petrol for a journey less than 20 miles - friends DD announces she's thirsty - friend says just left home - DD has tantrum and so gets a whole bottle of lemonade and sweets.
You can imagine what she's like now at 11

Totally agree with laying out expectations before your go. Small backpack each with drink/snack/ hat/ jumper or to put jumper in if hot. If I'm doing ice cream then £2 goes into the bag to for them to buy it!

NennyNooNoo · 01/06/2017 14:23

When I was a lass, going out for the day as a family was a treat, and therefore the 'day out merits an ice cream afterwards' rule may have started. These days, lots of people seem to plan activities / days out for virtually every other day of the holidays so that may be the difference. (I'm not talking about a trip to the playground / park etc where you can go and play and be back home within 30 mins, more about theme parks / soft play/ day at the beach etc). I see no point in buying an expensive ice cream from a van if you're 10 mins away from your own freezer with a supply of ice lollies which you can make yourself for pennies. For a proper day out, I don't begrudge buying an ice cream instead of their usual 'treat'.

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