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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel a little, not quite pissed off, but at least miffed about this?

35 replies

newcarwoes · 01/06/2017 08:01

I'm trying to buy a new car - new to me that is rather than brand new. My old one recently gave up the ghost and although I can manage short term without one, I do want to replace it.

I was thinking about a lease car as we get a deal through work but when I looked at it, it actually isn't that good for the size of car I wanted. So looked around and identified a particular make/ model that I thought was good, and I can afford a 2-3 year old model.

So my partner and I have been to a couple of local dealers to have a closer look at the model, I've not test driven one as the first time we were literally just passing, and the other time they only had 2 salesmen in so couldn't take us out (fair enough). The showrooms shut at 6 in the week (and I don't finish work til then) so I can only go at the weekends.

Anyway, I've also been checking online and found another dealer that has a better spec model than the ones I've seen locally, for only a couple of hundred more, and it's also in a colour I'd prefer. Although like the places here they are main dealers, they're not part of the same group, so I couldn't get this car brought to a local garage, I'd have to go and see it. Car is about 60 miles away.

So when I spotted car I emailed a link to Dp for his views (my car, but I value his input). He agreed it looked good, and said why don't we go look at it at the weekend?

So then today after I mention our road trip at the weekend, he asks how far it was (it clearly said on the link I sent him where the garage was) and when I tell him says that's a bit far, and he doesn't think we should drove all the way down there just for me to drive it, am I serious about buying it, etc. And that he won't take me unless I can say I'm committed to buying it. I say that I can't say for sure until I see it. To which he says well you might not be able to drive it. Oh, and it might have damage accounting for the reasonable price. He said it would be much easier if thre was one up here. We'll obviously but this specific, better, one isn't here.

So I'm now not sure whether we're going at all, it feels like he's backing out of it. I don't feel it's that far to look at a car, but maybe I'm wrong?

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 01/06/2017 08:03

Get yourself a cab and buy the car if you want to

Don't bother telling your partner what you're doing as he's an idiot

Hmmalittlefishy · 01/06/2017 08:06

Ring the dealership and book in a test drive so you know it's not a wasted journey.
They may just have new stock coming in which accounts for price.
Can anyone else take you?

Fragglez · 01/06/2017 08:11

When you do a significant journey to look at a car, there is always the danger that you feel that you have to buy it because of the time and resources involved in getting there - regardless of if it is a good buy or not.

IMO he should be giving you exactly the opposite advice to what he has said.

Is their either someone else that you can go with that won't pressure you if you don't like it, or another destination close by that you can go to aswell (national trust or something?) to make the day and trip not all about the car if that would help him chill out?

Fragglez · 01/06/2017 08:13

Their?! There! Bloody illiterate autocorrect.....

Oh, and book the test drive in advance.

BakerBear · 01/06/2017 08:17

60 miles is nothing to go and look at a car.

When we have sold cars in the past we have had people travelling 2-3 hours one way to look at it

Doglikeafox · 01/06/2017 08:23

It sounds like your DP is being a bit of an arse Hmm
We went to go and see a car 200miles away because it was a great price. We absolutely loved it, and still have it now a year later and not a single problem yet. It was way better than any of the other cars around up here, so totally worth the drive in my opinion.
Also, DP and I have very limited time together so sitting in a car together for 4-5 hours loaded with snacks, a few good playlists and great conversation made for a lovely day trip out. We even went to a zoo on the way back Grin

Isetan · 01/06/2017 08:25

What the hell! Is there a reason why you've surrendered so much power to this man? Yes he's not being particularly supportive but wbhat exactly is stopping you from making arrangements yourself?

HotelEuphoria · 01/06/2017 08:27

We have bought two cars 100 miles (in opposite directions) away because both were exactly what we wanted for the right price.

Make the drive a day out.

ems137 · 01/06/2017 08:30

60 miles to see a car isn't even that far! We've travelled from Yorkshire to Kent before to drive and then buy a car. I'd never test driven one of them before either.

There's 2 ways of doing this;

Try and test drive one on your lunch break or finish early one day somewhere more local. Then you're not going to the 60 mile away one blind.

Or...just go to the 60 miles away one, drive it and if you don't like it, don't buy it.

Definitely call them first though

Original poster
newcarwoes · 01/06/2017 08:36

There isn't anyone else to take me unfortunately. I could go myself by train but that would take at least 3 hours/ 3 changes to get to the nearest town, and that's if this place is near the station.

I'll be honest that I'm apprehensive about driving the car back as I'm a relatively inexperienced driver and I've really only driven my current car. That said I'm prepared to man up and do it, because there's no other way to get the car back here.

There are various places to go on the way down there or back, I thought it would be a fun afternoon out hence calling it a road trip.

I really didn't think it was that far, we could be there and back with a test drive in 3 and a bit hours.

OP posts:
confusedat23 · 01/06/2017 08:36

Just take someone else with you OP you must have one person who you can ask to go with you.

I wouldn't worry about not having driven the car because if you like it enough you will get used to it. All cars feel different at first Smile.

I would just make sure you get a warranty with it as well just incase anything was to go wrong in the first few months.

Whitney168 · 01/06/2017 08:39

Why can't you just book a test drive to make sure the journey isn't wasted and then drive yourself there to do it? If you want it, you can then work out the logistics of going back to collect it, cars aren't normally a 'take away on the day' thing.

Original poster
newcarwoes · 01/06/2017 08:43

I was definitely going to call them first and get something booked in.

I'll do that and possibly that will convince dp I actually want to buy it.
.
That said if it's not in good condition when I see it, I won't just take it for the sake of it!

Crazy idea but do you think if I paid a bit extra (or just didn't haggle on the price, which according to Parkers is very fair) they would deliver it to me? I know you can get new cars delivered, and my colleagues who lease theirs get them dropped off at their homes. It's only that it would be a lot less stressful for me to do that than drive (an unfamiliar car) home on my own. That said, I will do it if I need to. Just trying to work out if there are any other options...

OP posts:
Original poster
newcarwoes · 01/06/2017 08:47

This specific make come with a really long warranty, it's part of what attracted me to it.

My current car is a non runner, so I cant drive myself down there (or anywhere) in it. I don't have many friends really, and the ones likely to be free on a weekend don't have cars or drive, so it's train or dp.

OP posts:
ferriswheel · 01/06/2017 08:57

Doglikeafox

Your post nearly made me cry. I'm getting divorced and I long for a relationship like you have described.

Op I hope you get your car.

Ginger782 · 01/06/2017 09:01

Oh gosh 60 miles is nothing! What do you normally do on weekends? Would it not be fun to make a day of it, find a cafe to have lunch in, see another town? Hmm

Funnyface1 · 01/06/2017 09:03

Having looked at so many cars lately I'm with your partner! Even 8 miles feels like a lifetime when you get there and it's scratched or dinked and the inside smells like smoke or wet dog. And I'm not looking at old bangers either!

They always look good on the advert but I've said no to so many since I started looking in April that I won't go far anymore. I always go look at locals first to see if I really like them and can drive them.

However, I don't think your partner should be able to decide for you, I agree that you should be able to make your own choices. Just wanted to give another point of view.

I hope you have better look than me. I'm sharing dh's car at the moment but will have to start the search again soon.

Bohemond · 01/06/2017 09:07

Test drive one locally - you may hate the car - before you drive 60 miles to look at a better spec

NetflixandBill · 01/06/2017 09:09

Good idea to test drive a similar one locally to see if you like it and then travel to see this one. Assuming it's got no hidden problems youre then more in a position to buy

Mummyoflittledragon · 01/06/2017 09:17

Just book the test drive and tell him you need a lift, would that work?

Empireoftheclouds · 01/06/2017 09:24

You need to do some basic checks before you even think about going 60 miles for a test drive. Look on th AA, MSE, auto trader and citizens advice pages where there are plenty of pointers. I have never test drive a car, but I do background checks to make sure they are not insurance write offs or still on finance, then I look at the car itself. The actual driving isn't a sign of the cars 'health'

Empireoftheclouds · 01/06/2017 09:25

Good idea to test drive a similar one locally to see if you like it and then travel to see this one. am I the only one who girls this is an awful thing to do to other people Shock

Empireoftheclouds · 01/06/2017 09:25

*thinks

Empireoftheclouds · 01/06/2017 09:29

This specific make come with a really long warranty, it's part of what attracted me to it don't be taken in by this, many warranties are not worth the paper they are written on. Most things won't be covered under it, and there will be plenty more that they will try to wriggle out of as general wear and tear. So another thing to do before you go is ask them to email you a copy of the warranty policy, have a very close read through it and find out what it will cover. It will be less than you think, particularly on a 2nd hander

youarenotkiddingme · 01/06/2017 09:35

Ring the garage. Ask them directly why it's a comparable price compared to other models.
Ask them about a test drive. Book it.

Then tell DP you are going to drive it and making a day of it in the place and if he wants to go he's welcome.

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