This is a tad controlling right?? Wedding related

[spottysuperted]

Popped up on DP's Facebook, someone hasn't seen for years so not directed at us.

We're planning our own wedding at the moment and we've clashed ever so slightly over some etiquette points that he just doesn't get

But keeping tabs on hotel bookings and announcing via Facebook you won't be on the table plan?!

A bit rude but I can sympathise. It really pisses me off when folk have had weeks to RSVP but don't bother. And if there was a date on the RSVP then all the more reason to get irked. It's a nightmare organising something when folk don't bother to respond. And it's just rude not to respond.

OP are you sure you and your DP haven't been invited (and the invite got lost)? She might have restricted the audience just to those who haven't replied (if I was sending such a controlling post, I wouldn't want all my Facebook to see what a nutter I was!)

To be honest I can sympathise a bit with the couple. We gave our wedding guests several MONTHS to RSVP, and some never did despite us politely following up with those who hadn't RSVP'd to clarify if they were coming or not. In the end we had to assume some people were coming and paid for meals etc for them, and they never showed up. I wasn't impressed.

No not at all I've never met her

Perhaps it's a destination wedding abroad

Perhaps it's a destination wedding abroad

Oh and I can totally totally sympathise but the SHOUTING made me giggle

RSVP is one thing. Where the guests are choosing to stay is, however, none of her business. I am cheap and have lots of friends, so I almost always manage to stay with someone I know if I have a wedding that's too far to just drive home (not a drinker).

It could be worded better but she knows her guests.Did everyone invited get the memo or just a select few.

If just the select few,rather than slag her off.Get off their arses and get everything booked.

Some of these reactions are weird. If you know someone is stressed and maybe getting to end of tether, it's really bloody nasty to then start snipping 'ooh if she'd only speak to me better' and do the opposite to what is constructive in order to achieve what??

If I had a request like that I'd be like 'oh shit you know it is important and we are being well flaky and she's really affected, let's be really nice and helpful...

It's extremely nasty and selfish to be angry that someone elses upset handmade you feeluncomfortable..be nice ffs!

I worked for someone who was nice as pie all the time. I invited his old supervisor, a Nobel prize winner, to speak on the only day off he'd booked that year. He was FUCKING LIVID and told me so. His emotion was completely 100% justified, and I agreed with him that he should be angry and that if it were me, I would have been even worse. I felt awful but not because he'd intimidate d me but because he was totally deeply offended and justifiably angry and I didn't want to do that.

The amount of people who said'oh he shouldn't talk to you like that,' and were professionally offended on my behalf and said I should be difficult with him in future was astonishing. His anger was right.

In this case I think too her 'FFS just fucking tell me that you are here and sorted and aren't going to fuck out on me' is fine..it's like someone shouting''ok guys team talk' on a basketball court and then everyone bitching that shouting was rude and couldn't she have asked politely.first and then refusgto play..

They've probably had a lot of people say/infer they're leaving accomodation to the last minute. Some places and times you're taking a real risk doing that (unless you're willing to pay substantially more than the standard rate).

I've been to a lot of weddings where there's been multiple last minute no-shows because people suddenly realised they wouldn't be able to book a suitable room anywhere the day before. Cost the couples hundreds each time and meant they had to worry about reshuffling tables when they were meant to be getting ready.

If they're demanding everyone stay at one place or demanding receipts then they're being rude, but if they're just wanting people to say they've now sorted everything and will be there, then fine.

I have no problem with this. If they're doing table plans the wedding is soon. If someone is going home after the wedding then it's no skin off their nose to say 'definitely coming, and am driving/have pre-booked my taxi'. People flaking out cost the couples real money and if they don't have somewhere to stay, home or otherwise, by table-planning stage (which is almost always after the RSVPs were due) then I would also be inclined to assume they weren't coming.

I don't understand her way Facebook is the right way to tackle this. You just have to phone people and ask someone directly if you haven't had a response. Very risky to assume no response means yes, like a previous poster said.

We were incredibly frustrated by people not replying to DDs' wedding invitations. You give a reply by date for a reason and have caterers breathing down your neck for final
numbers. We had to chase at both weddings and of course the same bloody people! In the end we had to say to one relative that we assumed they were not coming - that got a response. So I think she's at the end of her tether.
We asked to know where people were staying (and arranged discounts) as we were arranging buses back free of charge but that was a rural area.

Agree MrsJamin FB is not the place!