To feel like I've done rubbish in life whilst others are living it up

[SighMoanEyeroll]

yes I KNOW I KNOW - grass being greener and all that. I've just spent the last few hours looking up old school friends to see what they're getting up to (not on FB etc. so don't keep in touch).

I found an old friend who I used to be very close with. She's now some high falutin' manager at a big company earning around 50k. This is around half of what I earn. Well I actually earn about a fifth of her salary as I'm studying at the moment and working a few days only. When I finish my degree, it will only enable me to get up to 30k for a while. My friend never went to uni.

Part of me is chuffed for her - I always knew she would do well and I'm pleased to see her succeed - but the other part of me, the low self esteem kicks in and I just think of my DC, my house full of clutter and all the problems I'm going through -too many for this thread and I think a lot are probably linked to how I feel about myself.

AIBU to think that whilst I haven't wound up in a crack den or anything, in comparison to my peers I'm plodding along in the slow and food covered lane?

Remember that money doesn't equate to happiness ♥ she may look at your life and be envious that you're studying something you enjoy (I'm making assumptions but would assume you are), have a family,kids etc. Her job might be horrendously stressful, put strain on her family and kids etc.
I've got a friend who now has a VERY good job, but is still single, no kids etc. I actually feel sad that she doesn't have what i do in terms of a family.
I'm also studying and my job will be on the same scale as yours pay wise but it's what I've wanted to do for years and worked so hard for, have a lovely OH and expecting our first child soon. Yes more money would be fab, but I wouldn't change my life for the world!

I would take most of what you see on FB with a pinch of salt. An old friend of mine doesn't even have a job but according to her Facebook she's very successful!

This is around half of what I earn.

Actually twice. Have we discovered why she's more successful?

She's now some high falutin' manager at a big company earning around 50k. This is around half of what I earn. Well I actually earn about a fifth of her salary as I'm studying at the moment and working a few days only. When I finish my degree, it will only enable me to get up to 30k for a while

How do you earn 100k and then 10k but will earn 30k? You seem confused.

I'm not so much envious of money as a builders wife I have plenty. I envy people who have interesting jobs/life/hobbies. I feel quite dull and have real passions. I'm working on it but trying new things take time and commitment.

*no real passions

I looked up one of my university friends and she's a very highly paid Judge in the US (she's American) and a friend of the Obamas!

I think the OP meant that she earns half of that, not double.

You win imperial

She sounds inspiring. My dgm was a very positive person too despite lots of hardship. I try and remember that when I'm ready to throw my phone off the wall in a jealous facebook rage. Its not a nice quality I suppose. I think its different if you feel a person doesn't deserve success, exam cheat, criminal etc.

THIS is why social media is a crock of shit.

You have no idea what her life is actually like. She might be crying herself to sleep every night over some awful problems that you wouldn't see on FB.

I was stalking this girl on Instagram, jealous that she appeared to constantly be going on holiday. Then I realised she was just constantly drip-feeding photos from old holidays, and in reality only went on holiday about as much as I do.

I've got a friend who now has a VERY good job, but is still single, no kids etc. I actually feel sad that she doesn't have what i do in terms of a family.

I am a career girl miss bax and don't be wasting your pity on the single like your friend.

Maybe she doesnt want it

This is how I feel about the whole family thing:

Sometimes it helps to think about the things someone else has that you envy, and then think what you would give up to have those things. For example, would you give up your children for a more high-powered job? Would you give up studying for something hopefully you're passionate about for a job that's boring but pays a lot?

I'm sure the answer to those is of course not. It doesn't mean you can't be allowed to feel envious sometimes but try not to let it diminish your pride/happiness in what you do have.

My DH and I have a wonderful life and I'm very happy. But I have fertility problems. I would give up lots of things that I'm sure other people would envy me for to have a child.

I hope things look up for you soon and the bad things subside and the good things get even better.

Free - sorry i didn't mean she wasn't happy with that - I think she's very happy, as am I for her. I more meant that I would be sad if that was my life and we can't compare ourselves to others :)
Variety is the spice of life, afterall!

This is how I feel about the whole family thing:

Hahaha SNAP. High five!

Plus, it means when I die I can leave all my money to a hedgehog sanctuary.

Run your own race. You'll never be happy competing and comparing.

YoloSwaggins 🤚✊High five and fist bump back