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Being evicted, can't get through to anyone who can help and we're scared

214 replies

demonchilde · 30/05/2017 14:01

Hi all - posting here for traffic, in a bit off a panic at the moment. Quite a long back story to it, I did have a thread in legal about it all, I will try and link to it.

I'm a lone parent of 4 DC's (still at home), currently doing a nursing degree. It's been a bit of a year in general- DS4 (11) has ASD so suffers from quite severe behavioural and sleep problems. DS3 very sadly lost his best friend of 10 years to brain cancer a few weeks ago and this has affected him really badly - he has become very anxious, is having panic attacks, sleeping problems and has been pulling his hair out. DD2 (18) is due to start her a levels next week.

We were served a section 21 in our private rented house of 10 years back in February. I looked everywhere but couldn't find anything at all - rental prices have rocketed round here and as a student with no wage or guarantor no one will rent to us anyway. We went to the council who said they couldn't help us. Went to shelter then CAB who advised us the council were obliged to help us. They are not helpful - almost impossible to get through to, and advised us we have to wait for the landlord to take us to court for possession and then eviction.

The landlord has now done this. We were allocated a hearing to ask for a couple of extra weeks for exceptional circumstances due to my daughter's A- levels. But the hearing was this morning and the judge denied our application for extra time, and granted the landlord possession from tomorrow. They have also said I have to pay a significant amount to him in court costs that I cannot afford. This is so unfair as we are only still here because the council have insisted we stay until the bailiffs arrive.

I have just spoken to the landlord- he has agreed to store our things for 2 weeks if we go voluntarily, meaning we will be saved the cost and the DC's being scared by the bailiffs but the council have said no, if we do that we make ourselves voluntarily homeless and they will have no duty to house us.

So now, he is instructing high court bailiffs who I am told will probably be here within the week. I can't get through to the council. I have nowhere to store our stuff, yet they are saying they do not have to help us with that. We still have our cat here- all the catteries are full up. The council have told us we will be in a b and b indefinitely which could be anywhere within a 30 mile radius. I have no idea how I will get my children to school if we are far away. Really panicking here and I can't get through to anyone.

Can anyone advice me what I should do from here? I'm really panicking.

OP posts:
specialsubject · 31/05/2017 10:09

Now read the update and my suspicion that the landlord was lying is confirmed. Evictions are not that quick in the UK and the process does not work as the landlord said.

I also don't think he will get permission to go to the high court. So it is the county court lot who give plenty of warning. And could be six months away.

And to whoever it was, I won't be campaigning to get insurance to let to h b tenants. I already can. Don't worry, the serious kicking I got wasnt from a benefits tenant.

usernamealreadytaken · 31/05/2017 10:18

I hope today is going better for you, OP.

Can you take your friend up on their offer of temporarily moving in to their big house to minimise the disruption to DCs? That might be the better option than the uncertainty of the b&b you have been offered.

Four months is a long time for housing to not be able to sort this out. I know that moving areas is the last thing you want to consider, but there are areas with available housing and you could transfer your uni course. Is your family/support local or is there anywhere else thou could consider if it could make life easier/better in the long run?

drspouse · 31/05/2017 10:31

Can you take your friend up on their offer of temporarily moving in to their big house to minimise the disruption to DCs?

I imagine the DCs could move in (or at least sleep over) and you stay in your current house (at least nominally) to await eviction and to not have made yourself voluntarily homeless. As one of your DCs is over 18 she could stay with the younger ones overnight?

demonchilde · 31/05/2017 14:04

Hi all, thank you all for the replies- I've taken note of all the advice given, thank you.

Can I just make it clear again - I am not blaming my landlord for asking for his house back. I am well aware that that is his right. I did my utmost to try to move us all before the section 21 expired. I have continued to pay my rent. But I do blame him for becoming intimidating, threatening and difficult because we are still here when I have made it quite clear to him I am not here by choice. I blame him for ignoring every call and email the council have sent him asking for why he is evicting me just to make things difficult for me, for continually lying to me to try and scare me into leaving. It is the council who insisted he had to apply for possession and now eviction, even though I will be the one landed with the costs. If he is angry at anyone, it should be them not me. On the whole, I have been a good tenant- I've kept the house and garden nice and well looked after, always made sure I've been here when they required access and paid my rent on time the vast majority of the time. There is no need for him to behave like this.

My degree and my daughters A levels are a priority. She is taking a gap year to travel and get work experience before applying to Uni to do teacher training. DS1 (25) got a good degree in engineering and is now an aircraft engineer in the military. DD2 (23) is just about to graduate with a first. I had my eldest son at 18, but went on to do a psychology degree, I had a good job, and then when I met my husband help him run his own telecoms company. We had a good income and a good life. Unfortunately, the strain of having a disabled child and working long hours took its toll and our marriage suffered, we started to argue. Ex 'DH', completely unknown to me started using cocaine as many others in his profession did to get through the long hours. Two years on and he was completely addicted, and had gone from a good Dad to a violent wanker, who used to smash all our things up and terrorise us. He was violent to me,once smashed a bottle on the wall above my head while I was feeding our DD. I ended up having to literally run for our lives after one violent rage, where DS2 tried to step in and my EX head butted him breaking his glasses and then went and smashed every single thing in his room up. I later found out he hadn't paid the bills for months and was left in massive debt. I didn't come from poverty, my Dad was a surgeon. I didn't lack ambition, choose an easy life on benefits, have children without thinking first. I didn't choose to be a lone parent, who would? I know I shouldn't be rattling on about this, but I am sick of people pigeon holing me by the circumstances I am in, and inane comments such as the one saying people can only be homeless in this day and age if it is their own fault. Because susannah I was you once, and one day you could be me. Almost anyone could. Rant over ;)

So, anyway- as I have said before - as hard as it seems for some to believe, I have no ex and no family I can ask for help. It is just us. I have a Mum who has severe mental health problems (schizoaffective disorder and bipolar) who I see as little as possible, I just drop up meals for her or she wouldn't eat. She doesn't take her meds so I can't have the DC's around her as she frightens them with the things she says (she has severe paranoia and delusions). My ex does not see my DC's- he also spends his time in and out of psychiatric units now because of how years of cocaine addiction affected his mental health. So that's it - the people who should perhaps be able to support us can't. If anything the reverse is true- I have to support them. I don't have many friends- I had depression and PTSD after leaving my ex and isolated myself for a long time. I find it hard to trust people. That said, the friends I have left are the ones who stuck by me regardless and they are true friends who have genuinely wanted to help me, but are limited in what they can do as only 3 or 4 are still local to me.

Anyway, I've spent the day packing up. The housing officer has also said I need to be ready to go immediately in case the LL does get a high court writ. I'm about to go and fill out an income/ expenditure form to see if I qualify for a loan towards removal and storage costs. I then have an appointment to see the finance office at Uni again. Later on, I will try and ring Shelter again. I'm a bit confused as the housing officer says I will still not be eligible to apply for council housing even when we are homeless/ in temporary accommodation. She says I will still have to find a private let. How? Nothing will have changed and the cheapest rents will still be way above my price range. I give up, I really do.

With regards to transferring course, I have asked and `I can't do that and keep the bursary apparently. I would have to restart the course. I also can't move DS4 from his school- he would not cope with the change at all. He started secondary last year at a school that are fantastic with ASD. He missed his last 2 years at juniors due to school refusal and bullying, in just a few months at this one he has gone from being way below average to top of his class in most subjects. His attendance rate has been 97%. The head teacher even voluntarily wrote us a letter to use if needed to say how detrimental a move of school would be to him. Longer term, I do want to move out of the south east of theres any way I can. But right now, I can't.

Anyway, sorry for the waffle, and thank you all again for the advice and support. It means a lot that some people actually do care.

OP posts:
picklemepopcorn · 31/05/2017 14:17

Thank you for sharing your story in that last post, demonchild. I'm sorry you felt you had to, but glad you did because it is so important that people realise that they are one or two unexpected events away from catastrophe. We can be so smug in our own certainty that it couldn't happen to us.

Thank you. And good luck.

WorldsacpeLove · 31/05/2017 14:22

@demonchilde Your university will have an accomodation department - call them. Also call the finance department and ask how you get emergency funding. E-mail departmental tutors now and ask if there is any additional funding in the department.

GeekLove · 31/05/2017 14:36

There are very few people who aren't a few months away from homelessness. A sudden illness and injury, loss of job, bereavement - all these can gobble up your savings and reserves whether you're on NMW or have three degrees and loads of letters after your name.
Do not take your housing status for granted.

MyNameIsJane · 31/05/2017 14:48

No advice here. It sounds like the hand you've been dealt is a duff one. You really deserve better. You're a bloody strong woman.

Ineedacupofteadesperately · 31/05/2017 14:57

demonchilde many universities have student hardship funds but often not well publicised - do you have a tutor you could ask to look into this on your behalf?

It sounds like you're coping a lot better than most would with very difficult circumstances. I'm so impressed you're retraining as a nurse, although I'm sure dealing with all this is making it very hard to study.. I hope you get the help you need soon (sounds like the housing officer is rubbish - how can they say you'll not be eligible for council housing? Sounds awful). Flowers

MumIsRunningAMarathon · 31/05/2017 15:05

Is the military connection worth exploring?

Saafa and British legion helped us loads

NImbleJumper · 31/05/2017 15:13

demonchilde I am in awe of you. I live nowhere near your area, otherwise my house would be open to you.

I hope the University can help with some emergency accommodation.

Could your eldest son help with things a bit? Maybe house your elder DD for her A Levels if he''s now well-established?

I'm so sorry for what you're going through - it shouldn't be happening ion this rich supposedly civilised country.

Vote Labour folks.

usernamealreadytaken · 31/05/2017 15:33

You're doing great, keep strong. Who helps with the children whilst you are on shift? Just bear in mind if it's DD who is going travelling, you will also need to be somewhere safe for the remaining DC so outdoors your friend's offer help that way too, rather than temp accommodation or b&b?

landspeeder · 31/05/2017 16:17

I would hang on for the temp accommodation so it gives you priority for a council tenancy OP. It is not pleasant but in the long run it will be worth it. I have been through it all myself, while on benefits with autistic DD and we are so glad we have our council flat now. The rent is a third of the local private rents (which are very high as we're in north London) and we have no worries about being asked to leave at any time. Follow the advice from qualified advisors like Shelter or a solicitor and read around housing law and your council's policies as much as you can. I can't understand how the housing officer can say you're not eligible for council housing if you are homeless. The fact is that my priority for housing jumped to the highest number of points when I got evicted as I was considered to be homeless and had letters from our paediatrician, social worker and psychiatrist to support our case. So my case is quite similar to yours and I don't see why you wouldn't qualify. I would always double check with Shelter etc as the housing office here was very sneaky in terms of losing paperwork, telling me lies about the policies and procedures.

Doobigetta · 31/05/2017 17:09

I don't have any useful advice for you, OP, but I have to say- you are not the scumbag on this thread. Hope things get better for you very soon Flowers

taytopotato · 31/05/2017 19:32

OP I am at awe at your strength and maturity. Your decision to stay on the course is the right one. I have met so many mature nursing students who became nurses - they offer maturity and life experiences. It is a shame that the bursary is gone as it attracts mature students.

Are you getting support from your workplace placement? Please get in touch with your mentor/ward sister/charge nurse/matron. Problem shared is a problem halved. I know on the other thread, someone already suggested hospital accommodation. Have you spoken to the hospital accommodation manager? Usually hospitals also have 2-3 bedroom flats. Wishing you all the best Flowers

user1496256546 · 31/05/2017 19:57

This reply has been deleted

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picklemepopcorn · 31/05/2017 20:04

User, read the thread!!

She was in a stable relationship, working, when she had her children. Disaster happened and everything changed.

Take your judgey pants somewhere else.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 31/05/2017 20:17

Fuck
Me OP 😖

Just hang tight and let them evict you - as hideous and brutal as it is it's the only way to get yourself re housed- which you will be eventually

I am praying to
God for a council
House for you all

I cannot even imagine what this is like for you and your kids but
You deserve a council property and being in the street sadly is the ONLY way

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 31/05/2017 20:19

Ignore the cunts OP
Ignore and don't even bother answering Flowers

myrtleWilson · 31/05/2017 20:24

Seriously user? DFOD

demondchilde - you sound like you're keeping everything and everyone afloat to the best of your abilities and I do hope your situation improves.
Are there any lodging type situations that would work for you and your youngest child (long shot I know) - I was thinking of an elderly person who needs some live in care needs?

user1496256546 · 31/05/2017 20:33

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

demonchilde · 31/05/2017 20:39

Thank you all again for your advice and some lovely words of encouragement. I don't feel strong, I feel washed out and defeated. It doesn't help that it its half term really. Dc's usually go to holiday club but I didn't bother this time as I'm on home study leave. I had to take DC's 5 and 6 to the housing office with me, so they overheard the conversation, and they were crying after and I felt so guilty. I keep bloody crying as well, it just all seems so real and so overwhelming all of a sudden. I still have a garage and outhouse to go through but I'm just so tired.

Spoke to LL earlier- he says the judge already granted him permission to use high court bailiffs. But he also said he won't be doing anything this week or next. But then I don't know if I can trust anything he says really. So I will just pack and clear up best I can, and try and keep things as normal as possible. I so wish I could just concentrate on my DC's and my studies again though - that was hard enough.

With regards to the military connection - I've never thought about that. I can't ask for my eldest for any help as he is posted right down in the south west and is being posted away at the end of next month. I don't like to worry him either. The Uni accommodation office can't help, but I will ask if anything is available at the hospital when I go tomorrow.

Thanks again for all your kind words. Hopefully any strength I do have will be back in the morning!

OP posts:
demonchilde · 31/05/2017 20:52

user go and troll somewhere else, you complete and utter twat. This is my life, not a fucking election campaign.

I claim fuck all in benefits. I get an NHS bursary. I have paid tax all my life. I am asking to be able to live here for 2 more years so I can finish a degree. My two eldest Dc's are highly educated, they pay tax. They lead productive lives, one is employed to keep complete twats like you safe.

It takes a special person to have to treat judgemental twats like you exactly the same as everyone else, and here I am! I could be the unfortunate one wiping your sorry arse one day, so please, just shut the fuck up.

OP posts:
Dragongirl10 · 31/05/2017 20:56

so very sorry you are going through this op.

Just a couple of ideas..
Why can't your son help financially for a few months, he obviously has a good job and would hate to think of you and his Dsis and Db suffering...surely after you supporting him so well through his degree etc he can help...Also once you D/D has completed her A levels could she not delay her gap year and get a full time job for long enough to help get you a deposit together for another home?
They are adults now and should help take responsibility....

bigmac4me · 31/05/2017 21:06

My degree and my daughters A levels are a priority

As a foster carer I have looked after young people sitting exams while parents were moving/ill/needed elsewhere in an emergency. They would just stay with us for the short period of time they needed and then returned home to their familes afterwards. No major issues with SS either before or afterwards for their parents. So just passing on this info to you, OP. Good luck.