59 years old and worried about death

[seaurchin2016]

I have elderly parents in their 80's. I'm 59. I have a hubbie and 18 year old daughter. I'm worried that my hubbie and I will die before my daughter is settled with her own family. She doesn't make friends easily and has none at present. I am constantly thinking about it. I don't want to die as I could happily fill 1000 years let alone a possible 20 years left. I have previously been going along and not giving it a thought until I reached 50. All of a sudden I looked in the mirror one day and realised that I was 50- where had all the years gone to? I was pushed out of my job as a secondary school teacher I think due to my age. I was 56 years old. At my ex-school there are no teachers over the age of 45 except for senior managers. I am worried sick. Any thoughts from posters would be appreciated.

That's a nasty experience at work. Have you been able to continue working? Are you caring for your parents?

I don't know. I guess I look forward to death as I find life quite hard, but like you I hope to make it to a time when ds is an adult and a bit more launched on life.

I work with people at end of life sometimes and death can be a time when people can let go of unimportant stuff. It can be hard work like birth though.

Can you talk to your daughter about her hopes for the future? Is she close to your parents, does she actually want friends?

It's scary. Confronting our own mortality is scary. I was discussing this with my Mum yesterday. We were visiting my Nan, who we both help care for. When we left, she mentioned how hard work it is. I jokingly said that I'd be doing the same for her in 30 years. She then pointed out that in 30 years I'd be in my sixties and she'd most likely be dead. That scared the crap out of me.

I guess all we can do is live our lives to the best of our ability, love the people we have, and make the most of what little time we have. That sounds trite and daft, bit it's the best solution I can come up with.