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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU Rehoming our cat.

39 replies

Jakie7700 · 29/05/2017 17:52

This is my first time posting but I really need to know AIBU.
I have just found out our cat which we took in as a stray last year is the cause of my 2 year olds recently developed eczema which is so painful for him. I have asked close family and friends if they would consider taking her but none of them want a cat which is fair enough. So I feel very sadly I have no other option than to contact someone to rehome her but my husband thinks I am completely evil for thinking this and I am wrong. Would you agree?

OP posts:
gottachangethename1 · 29/05/2017 17:58

I don't think you have a lot of choice to be honest. The cat would find a loving home eventually at a shelter. No, in an ideal world you wouldn't leave a cat in a place that already has too many waifs and strays, but in this instance it seems to be the only answer.

BewtySkoolDropowt · 29/05/2017 17:58

Oh how sad - but no, of course you are not completely evil.

I would do the same in the circumstances - if something triggers eczema in children, there is a chance it will go on to trigger asthma. Asthma, while fairly common, can be very, very serious.

It's not a risk worth taking in this instance, imo.

Original poster
Jakie7700 · 29/05/2017 18:06

Thank you for your replies. I think maybe I feel so guilty about it that I kind of feel he was right. I didn't think about causing other problems such as asthma but you are right I suppose it very easily could. My husband said that he will grow out of it and I am just being over the top and too protective. But when I asked the doctor he suggested we rehome the cat!
Does anyone know and good Rehoming places as I have no idea? I would also happily make a money donation to help with any Rehoming costs.

OP posts:
Doobigetta · 29/05/2017 18:12

I don't think you have a choice. It's one thing for an adult to decide that they'll live with an allergy because they love the pet, but not a small child. It could get better, but it could also get worse.

Soubriquet · 29/05/2017 18:12

Oh dear

Rehoming is the only solution really isn't it?

Hope she gets adopted quickly

imightneedsocks · 29/05/2017 18:14

I'm a massive cat lover and volunteer for Cat's Protection. Normally I'd be very Hmmabout someone re-homing their cat however I agree that I'm not sure you have a choice in this situation.

Wolfiefan · 29/05/2017 18:16

Are you absolutely and completely certain it's the cat?
Have you tried keeping cat out of bedrooms, damp dusting, petal cleanse, hoovering with a Hoover with a decent filter?
Is the eczema under proper treatment? Mine looks bloody awful unless I use the right creams in the right way.
DD and DS both had awful eczema as babies but grew out of it. (Lucky I know.)
If you have to rehome (and many doctors and other people jump to that immediate suggestion) then perhaps if you give people an idea of where you are they can suggest rescues.

imightneedsocks · 29/05/2017 18:17

Cat's Protection are the best call IMO as they have a policy to never put a cat down unless it is needed for health reasons.

This is different to others (RSPCA) who will put older cats or those seen as more difficult to re-home asleep.

Fluffycloudland77 · 29/05/2017 18:19

Has the allergy been confirmed using a rast test?.

I only ask because there's a vet on here who has seen a fair few cats re-homed due the GP blaming the eczema/asthma on the pets but the condition continues after they've been rehomed.

She thinks it's an easy get out for the GP.

thecatneuterer · 29/05/2017 18:19

I would also want to be very sure the cause is the cat. We get lots of cats brought to our shelter because doctors have blamed them for various ailments. We have lost count of the times that people have later tried to get the cat back when they discovered that getting rid of the cat made no difference.

Doctors often hear you have a cat and just seem to think it must be that. Often it isn't.

Wolfiefan · 29/05/2017 18:19

And I am allergic to one of my cats. But the hay fever is MUCH worse.

imightneedsocks · 29/05/2017 18:20

Have you always had the cat while your DC has been around?

Thinking about it, it's unusual that a DC who has grown up with a pet has developed an allergy to them.

I have eczema, but mine is worse when I eat more dairy products and has nothing to do with my cats as I had it even when I didn't have any pets at all.

BewtySkoolDropowt · 29/05/2017 18:32

If you don't know definitively it is the cat, you could look for someone to foster the cat for at least couple of months to see if the symptoms diminish.

user1487070016 · 29/05/2017 18:39

I think you need to try to rehome your cat. However you might find it very difficult to find a shelter to take it.

My mum had to move house due to health reasons 5 years ago and could not take her 2 cats with her. I couldn't take them as DH has asthma which is almost solely triggered by cats. Despite phoning shelters in 2 areas of the country daily for a month nowhere had spaces. In the end we had to get one of the cats put down - the last one was re-homed to a friends colleague as we were taking it to the vet :(

Please don't offer it on Gumtree or the like as they are sometimes used for dog fighting etc

cluelessnewmum · 29/05/2017 18:39

I agree with others above, would any friends / family take the cat for say 6 months do you can see if ds condition improves? They might not want a cat permanently but might help you out for a reasonably short time if you paid for all the food, litter etc...?

It would be a shame to have to re home the cat if it is not the cause of the eczema. I have two beloved cats, I'd only want to rehome them as the very very last resort.

ceceliajames · 29/05/2017 18:39

If the cat is definitely the cause I wouldn't feel too guilty - people abandon cats or put them in shelters for much worse reasons. My MIL basically guilt tripped me into taking her cat otherwise she'd take her to RSPCA and she would have been put down if not rehomed in a week. I put an advert on gumtree, a family came round once to see and play with her and then came back to take her within a week. They were lovely and used to send regular updates for me :)

Wolfiefan · 29/05/2017 18:43

Don't put an advert on Gumtree. Just don't OP. Angry

Original poster
Jakie7700 · 29/05/2017 18:46

Unfortunately it is definitely the cat and he is seeing a dermatologist. He has been prescribed lots of different creams and although they take the edge off it is still awful. I do make sure she doesn't go in his room and clean all the time for hairs etc. But that is another thing we try to keep her out of the main living areas and I don't feel this is fair on her either. I have heard from friends the RSPCA is awful and do put animals down so I would never contact them just in case. That is my worse fear that I give her to a Rehoming centre and she would be put down! We love her so much so would be devestated. We are in leciestershire. Thank you for that I will contact cats protection tomorrow and see if they can help.

OP posts:
thecatneuterer · 29/05/2017 18:46

And yes. Shelters are all full. RSPCA won't take unwanted/stray cats at all. All other shelters in London are completely full with a waiting list to take in cats. I'm guessing the situation is similar in other parts of the country.

I don't know what the answer is. But the idea of asking someone to foster for a couple of months (or even pay for a cattery) is a good one just to see if it makes a difference.

Original poster
Jakie7700 · 29/05/2017 18:52

Thank you for all the replies. Have heard about Gumtree appartley ppl take animals and use them for animal fighting so would never risk that.
No we only had her from last year as she was a stray kitten who was in a awful state pregnant and had a awful hernia which we paid to have put right. So he has developed it pretty much straight away from having her but has only been referred and diagnosed as the cat being the cause last week.

OP posts:
pigsDOfly · 29/05/2017 18:52

I'd want to be absolutely certain that the cat was the cause before rehoming her. There could be so many other causes.

My DS had eczema as a small child. We got our cats when he was around 12 years old by which time he'd grown out of the eczema; it never came back and he never developed asthma.

pigsDOfly · 29/05/2017 18:54

Oh, just seen your update OP. If it's definitely the cat, can't see you have a lot of choice tbh.

Original poster
Jakie7700 · 29/05/2017 18:58

That is a brillant idea about seeing if I can find someone to see if they can foster her temporary to see if the docs are wrong. He has had a skin test and was postive for cat allergy but its worth a try to see if i could get a fosterer to see if it improved. I suppose it has to be worth a try first as we do love her to bits she is a lovely cat. Just didn't no what to do.

OP posts:
Floralnomad · 29/05/2017 19:03

Do you have a shed or garage that you could put a flap in / heat in the winter overnight and just keep her as an outdoor cat , provided she has food and shelter I can't see why it wouldn't work .

Bluebellwoods123 · 29/05/2017 19:14

I've tested positive for cat allergies and grew up with cats. I find hay fever much worse and soap/laundry detergent etc the worst triggers for my eczema. Restricting the cat to downstairs (actually just the kitchen and conservatory) and washing the cat's bedding weekly makes all the difference. If the cat sits on the sofa it's sits on a throw which can be washed and hoovering daily keeps the allergens down. Brushing the cat to remove loose hair ( obviously not inside the house) and then giving her a wipe over with damp kitchen towel helps as well, although the cat's not too keen. I'd definitely try a few different things and fostering before you redone here.

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